jhonny9546
Master Don Juan
Hi guys.
I've actually spent the last year working on this. It also comes from years of observing my own relationships, those of friends around me, and thousands of discussions online. I'm part of numerous forums and communities, I've studied relationship dynamics for years, and I also collaborate with a divorce attorney in my city as a researcher on the topic.
Here's the theory.
Most people grow up believing there is only one successful model for life: find one partner, live together, build a family, combine your finances, and remain together forever.
While this model can work for one couple in a million, it often creates emotional, financial and psychological issues because people feel obligated to preserve the relationship instead of asking whether it's still beneficial.
So, the alternative is simple.
Two people date while remaining independent. If they develop mutual respect, compatibility and believe they would be good parents, they choose to have children together. Their primary LTR commitment becomes raising those children, not necessarily remaining romantic partners forever.
If the relationship stays healthy and respectful, they stay together. If it doesn't, they separate as partners while continuing to cooperate as parents.
The goal is to preserve: respect over obligation, freedom over dependency, shared responsibility for children, emotional independence and financial independence.
This doesn't claim lifelong relationships are impossible. Happy couples who remain together for decades certainly exist, but they're the exception, not the rule. Instead of assuming every relationship should last forever, relationships should continue only while they're mutually beneficial. Parenthood, however, remains permanent.
For this model to work, both people need three foundations: good physical and mental health, financial independence and a strong social support network.
So, as men, we could frame an ideal timeline like this:
Week 1: Meet her.
Week 2: If she passes your filtering, she's ready to become your partner.
Month 1 to Year 1: Establish boundaries, explain your relationship philosophy, have fun and get to know each other.
Year 1 to Year 2: One year of cohabitation. It's a new house you both pay 50%, rent or mortgage.
Year 2 to Year 3: Get her pregnant. (You must have her write down with your attorney she will commit 50% of expenses if you ever separate as a committed couple)
Year 4: First child is born. Decide whether continuing to live together improves both your lives. If yes, stay together. If not, live separately while focusing on the child, while s3xual exclusivity still remains.
Year 6: Reassess honestly. Is the relationship still an add-on to your life? If yes, continue and maybe have another child. If not, separate respectfully and continue co-parenting.
In practice, a good LTR will last 7 years.
Seven years are enough to know whether a relationship should continue. If it works, great. If it doesn't, both people move on while remaining committed parents.
No we come to a very important point: Why should men consider this?
.. You know, as men, we should always have the ability to walk away. If you find a genuinely good woman, keep her. But you should never stay simply because society told you that, or you have some internal need/dependance to her.
Freedom to leave makes the relationship a daily choice instead of a lifelong obligation.
Status, fame and power may still matter, but I'll argue that if you live this way, they're far less important than people think. We don't have to be providers for women. We only have to provide for our children. That's it.
I thought I'd write this to help men gain a different perspective on relationships, so they can be in charge and shape the structure of their relationships. This will allow them to be happier, and also to potentially find women who want to be guided and who will be respectful and good life partners.
Men should not follow the "mainstream media" narration.
I've actually spent the last year working on this. It also comes from years of observing my own relationships, those of friends around me, and thousands of discussions online. I'm part of numerous forums and communities, I've studied relationship dynamics for years, and I also collaborate with a divorce attorney in my city as a researcher on the topic.
Here's the theory.
Most people grow up believing there is only one successful model for life: find one partner, live together, build a family, combine your finances, and remain together forever.
While this model can work for one couple in a million, it often creates emotional, financial and psychological issues because people feel obligated to preserve the relationship instead of asking whether it's still beneficial.
So, the alternative is simple.
Two people date while remaining independent. If they develop mutual respect, compatibility and believe they would be good parents, they choose to have children together. Their primary LTR commitment becomes raising those children, not necessarily remaining romantic partners forever.
If the relationship stays healthy and respectful, they stay together. If it doesn't, they separate as partners while continuing to cooperate as parents.
The goal is to preserve: respect over obligation, freedom over dependency, shared responsibility for children, emotional independence and financial independence.
This doesn't claim lifelong relationships are impossible. Happy couples who remain together for decades certainly exist, but they're the exception, not the rule. Instead of assuming every relationship should last forever, relationships should continue only while they're mutually beneficial. Parenthood, however, remains permanent.
For this model to work, both people need three foundations: good physical and mental health, financial independence and a strong social support network.
So, as men, we could frame an ideal timeline like this:
Week 1: Meet her.
Week 2: If she passes your filtering, she's ready to become your partner.
Month 1 to Year 1: Establish boundaries, explain your relationship philosophy, have fun and get to know each other.
Year 1 to Year 2: One year of cohabitation. It's a new house you both pay 50%, rent or mortgage.
Year 2 to Year 3: Get her pregnant. (You must have her write down with your attorney she will commit 50% of expenses if you ever separate as a committed couple)
Year 4: First child is born. Decide whether continuing to live together improves both your lives. If yes, stay together. If not, live separately while focusing on the child, while s3xual exclusivity still remains.
Year 6: Reassess honestly. Is the relationship still an add-on to your life? If yes, continue and maybe have another child. If not, separate respectfully and continue co-parenting.
In practice, a good LTR will last 7 years.
Seven years are enough to know whether a relationship should continue. If it works, great. If it doesn't, both people move on while remaining committed parents.
No we come to a very important point: Why should men consider this?
.. You know, as men, we should always have the ability to walk away. If you find a genuinely good woman, keep her. But you should never stay simply because society told you that, or you have some internal need/dependance to her.
Freedom to leave makes the relationship a daily choice instead of a lifelong obligation.
Status, fame and power may still matter, but I'll argue that if you live this way, they're far less important than people think. We don't have to be providers for women. We only have to provide for our children. That's it.
I thought I'd write this to help men gain a different perspective on relationships, so they can be in charge and shape the structure of their relationships. This will allow them to be happier, and also to potentially find women who want to be guided and who will be respectful and good life partners.
Men should not follow the "mainstream media" narration.
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