"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Me? Intimidating?

Life-Trainee

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I was talking to a girl in one of my classes today. I asked her from social standpoint how she percieves me. She said that I look intimidating and unapproachable. I don't understand. What does it mean?? I used to be less sociable especially during first couple of years of college because I am pretty self-reliant. Now that I try to talk I get nervous uneasy responses from people.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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DJ Alejandro

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either of things i was before.

using too 'hard' words uncommon to the layman.

not smiling too much.

thinking too much.. alone.

tending to be 'closed' type of person in relation to posture.

don't see you having enough fun.

too opinionated.

but that's just me. before. hehe
 

Maxtro

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Adding to DJ Alejandro said.

What do you look like, how tall are you and whats your body type, your hair style? What type of clothes do you wear? What image do you try and project?
 

WaterTiger

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You might also be physically intimidating. If you're like 6'3 with 230 pounds of muscle, you can scare the hell out of some one by walking in the door.

Go to a clothing store and look at yourself in a full length mirror. Do you have a "thug" or "Kick-your-ass" kind of look? Confidence is great but don't cross the line and look threatening.
 

SuperMan_Wuss

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I used to be the same way, I am 6'3" and 205. I never would look people in the eye, I wouldnt smile, basically I was big and mean looking. so I say look people in the eye, dont look away and smile. that makes you seem so much friendlier and aproachable.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Life-Trainee

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I'm 6'2", dark brown short and spiky hair, about 155 lbs. I don't follow any fashion trends. I dress in dark clothes which might make me look like the 80's punk type. I am looking to reinvent my look.
 

Maxtro

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Yeah, I'm sure its the height and dark clothes. Also can you describe your general personality and or how do you think others see you?
Do they see you as happy, mad, glad etc.
 

diablo

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Brighter colors... dark intimidates people, for some reason. Try going to A&F, or somewhere else that doesn't carry 'black' as a color. :p
 
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