"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Masturbation & Porn Addiction?

Dogfish

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2006
Messages
72
Reaction score
1
Hey.
I tried to get into djing 3 years ago, but then it didn't really work out, although it did built confidence.

Anyhow, I have now had a girlfriend for 7 months, and it is a very trusting and loving relationship.
I am a soldier (in Germany) so I only see her on the weekends.

We have sex or make out like 2 times on the weekends, or more often on vacation, but I always find myself going back to the old right hand, or to countless porn websites.
More weirdly, I only jack off on weekends, when I actually have sex, or on days I had sex.

So the problem is now that I think I might be somewhat addicted to porn after all those lonely years, and it doesn't even really satisfy me.

So what can I do? Is this really just a mind thing like giving up smoking? Can you give me some advice or anything?

Thanks a lot.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Eugene123

Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2007
Messages
80
Reaction score
2
Location
Earth
Being addicted to anything is horrible. I myself used to be addicted to porn... What I did to stop my addiction was to keep myself busy. I found myself hanging out with my right hand more often on a day where I had nothing to do than a day where I had things to do.

Try picking up a hobby or something to keep yourself busy.
 

oakraiderz2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 26, 2002
Messages
4,626
Reaction score
28
Age
40
Location
Colorado
Addiction has a neurological cause. Have more sex with the gf, or better sex.
 

Dogfish

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2006
Messages
72
Reaction score
1
Yeah its no addiction, because otherwise I guess i would feel physically bad if I didn't jack off.

Its self-control in the end. Keep me going.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

thedeparted

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 7, 2007
Messages
428
Reaction score
29
Can be a stress reaction. You jack off to relieve stress, maybe even stress your g/f is causing. Substitute exercise instead. Keep a log and note when you j/o. At the end of the mo. if you were good give yourself a reward. Then when you are tempted you'll think about giving up that reward and decide not to. You can also give yourself a punishment after you do, like some soap in the mouth. Your body will stop wanting to j/o when it learns bad things will follow. These are basic psychological principles.
 

mrRuckus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
4,382
Reaction score
85
What's the problem? You don't even have a problem. What's wrong with masturbating if it's not keeping you from living the rest of your life?
 

scribblec

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 11, 2006
Messages
487
Reaction score
10
ive got it even worse, getting high then j/o > better then normal j/o

so i tend not to j/o if im not high on cannabis, when i am i just cant help my self
 

LoneSilver

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 27, 2005
Messages
880
Reaction score
7
Location
In The South
I just read this yesterday in the Archives called Buffers by Rollo maybe this will help you see it for what it really is.

LoneSilver

Pornography I realize this will draw some fire from the masturbation / no-masturbation set here, but porn (as men use it) is a Buffer against rejection. Porn doesn't talk back, porn doesn't need a few drinks to loosen up nor does porn require any social skills to produce rewards. It's convenient, immediate, sexual release that requires nothing more than a PC and an internet connection (or a magazine if you prefer the analog means). We can argue the obsessive-compulsive aspect of it, or the "my GF and I enjoy porn together" reasoning, but for the single guy the root reasoning is it's facility as a Buffer. I should also add that it's this very facility that makes women hate it (when they do). Porn gives a guy his reward for free; a reward that should be her single best agency is rendered valueless when a man can get off to an infinite variety of sexual experience at the click of a mouse. It's unlimited access to unlimited sexual availability.

I'm not saying don't enjoy porn, but know that it is a Buffer that will limit the development of your maturity if it goes unchecked.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Top