"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Masturbation & Porn Addiction?

Dogfish

Don Juan
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Hey.
I tried to get into djing 3 years ago, but then it didn't really work out, although it did built confidence.

Anyhow, I have now had a girlfriend for 7 months, and it is a very trusting and loving relationship.
I am a soldier (in Germany) so I only see her on the weekends.

We have sex or make out like 2 times on the weekends, or more often on vacation, but I always find myself going back to the old right hand, or to countless porn websites.
More weirdly, I only jack off on weekends, when I actually have sex, or on days I had sex.

So the problem is now that I think I might be somewhat addicted to porn after all those lonely years, and it doesn't even really satisfy me.

So what can I do? Is this really just a mind thing like giving up smoking? Can you give me some advice or anything?

Thanks a lot.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Eugene123

Don Juan
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May 31, 2007
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Being addicted to anything is horrible. I myself used to be addicted to porn... What I did to stop my addiction was to keep myself busy. I found myself hanging out with my right hand more often on a day where I had nothing to do than a day where I had things to do.

Try picking up a hobby or something to keep yourself busy.
 

oakraiderz2

Master Don Juan
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Addiction has a neurological cause. Have more sex with the gf, or better sex.
 

Dogfish

Don Juan
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Yeah its no addiction, because otherwise I guess i would feel physically bad if I didn't jack off.

Its self-control in the end. Keep me going.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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thedeparted

Senior Don Juan
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Can be a stress reaction. You jack off to relieve stress, maybe even stress your g/f is causing. Substitute exercise instead. Keep a log and note when you j/o. At the end of the mo. if you were good give yourself a reward. Then when you are tempted you'll think about giving up that reward and decide not to. You can also give yourself a punishment after you do, like some soap in the mouth. Your body will stop wanting to j/o when it learns bad things will follow. These are basic psychological principles.
 

mrRuckus

Master Don Juan
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What's the problem? You don't even have a problem. What's wrong with masturbating if it's not keeping you from living the rest of your life?
 

scribblec

Senior Don Juan
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ive got it even worse, getting high then j/o > better then normal j/o

so i tend not to j/o if im not high on cannabis, when i am i just cant help my self
 

LoneSilver

Master Don Juan
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In The South
I just read this yesterday in the Archives called Buffers by Rollo maybe this will help you see it for what it really is.

LoneSilver

Pornography I realize this will draw some fire from the masturbation / no-masturbation set here, but porn (as men use it) is a Buffer against rejection. Porn doesn't talk back, porn doesn't need a few drinks to loosen up nor does porn require any social skills to produce rewards. It's convenient, immediate, sexual release that requires nothing more than a PC and an internet connection (or a magazine if you prefer the analog means). We can argue the obsessive-compulsive aspect of it, or the "my GF and I enjoy porn together" reasoning, but for the single guy the root reasoning is it's facility as a Buffer. I should also add that it's this very facility that makes women hate it (when they do). Porn gives a guy his reward for free; a reward that should be her single best agency is rendered valueless when a man can get off to an infinite variety of sexual experience at the click of a mouse. It's unlimited access to unlimited sexual availability.

I'm not saying don't enjoy porn, but know that it is a Buffer that will limit the development of your maturity if it goes unchecked.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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