"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Masturbation & Porn Addiction?

Dogfish

Don Juan
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Hey.
I tried to get into djing 3 years ago, but then it didn't really work out, although it did built confidence.

Anyhow, I have now had a girlfriend for 7 months, and it is a very trusting and loving relationship.
I am a soldier (in Germany) so I only see her on the weekends.

We have sex or make out like 2 times on the weekends, or more often on vacation, but I always find myself going back to the old right hand, or to countless porn websites.
More weirdly, I only jack off on weekends, when I actually have sex, or on days I had sex.

So the problem is now that I think I might be somewhat addicted to porn after all those lonely years, and it doesn't even really satisfy me.

So what can I do? Is this really just a mind thing like giving up smoking? Can you give me some advice or anything?

Thanks a lot.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Eugene123

Don Juan
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Being addicted to anything is horrible. I myself used to be addicted to porn... What I did to stop my addiction was to keep myself busy. I found myself hanging out with my right hand more often on a day where I had nothing to do than a day where I had things to do.

Try picking up a hobby or something to keep yourself busy.
 

oakraiderz2

Master Don Juan
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Addiction has a neurological cause. Have more sex with the gf, or better sex.
 

Dogfish

Don Juan
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Yeah its no addiction, because otherwise I guess i would feel physically bad if I didn't jack off.

Its self-control in the end. Keep me going.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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thedeparted

Senior Don Juan
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Can be a stress reaction. You jack off to relieve stress, maybe even stress your g/f is causing. Substitute exercise instead. Keep a log and note when you j/o. At the end of the mo. if you were good give yourself a reward. Then when you are tempted you'll think about giving up that reward and decide not to. You can also give yourself a punishment after you do, like some soap in the mouth. Your body will stop wanting to j/o when it learns bad things will follow. These are basic psychological principles.
 

mrRuckus

Master Don Juan
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What's the problem? You don't even have a problem. What's wrong with masturbating if it's not keeping you from living the rest of your life?
 

scribblec

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ive got it even worse, getting high then j/o > better then normal j/o

so i tend not to j/o if im not high on cannabis, when i am i just cant help my self
 

LoneSilver

Master Don Juan
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I just read this yesterday in the Archives called Buffers by Rollo maybe this will help you see it for what it really is.

LoneSilver

Pornography I realize this will draw some fire from the masturbation / no-masturbation set here, but porn (as men use it) is a Buffer against rejection. Porn doesn't talk back, porn doesn't need a few drinks to loosen up nor does porn require any social skills to produce rewards. It's convenient, immediate, sexual release that requires nothing more than a PC and an internet connection (or a magazine if you prefer the analog means). We can argue the obsessive-compulsive aspect of it, or the "my GF and I enjoy porn together" reasoning, but for the single guy the root reasoning is it's facility as a Buffer. I should also add that it's this very facility that makes women hate it (when they do). Porn gives a guy his reward for free; a reward that should be her single best agency is rendered valueless when a man can get off to an infinite variety of sexual experience at the click of a mouse. It's unlimited access to unlimited sexual availability.

I'm not saying don't enjoy porn, but know that it is a Buffer that will limit the development of your maturity if it goes unchecked.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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