"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Married woman that's unhappy? Is this common? :P
- Thread starter I'mBatman
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
And ya know what? After I did it money fell from the sky and every question I ever had was answered.
Not really, but it was really good. And I feel better now that I did it because of what happened in the first place.
Alright, moving along
jophil28
Master Don Juan
I'mBatman said:Well, I finally banged her, and good too.
And ya know what? After I did it money fell from the sky and every question I ever had was answered.
Not really, but it was really good. And I feel better now that I did it because of what happened in the first place.
Alright, moving along
Ha ha ! If she is BPD or NPD or a combo, you are in for a wild ride - these woman LOVE drama. They are addicted to having sex on a rollercoaster.
Be ready and forewarned - now that you have banged her, she will be back for more - this is the 'candy sweet' period when she "merges" with you and makes you feel like an emperor. IN about another month or so the mindgames begin and then the sexual rationing and then...well I won't spoil the ending for you.
You own any body armor ?
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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Why after a few more sessions of sex in the coming weeks/months once it is over you may wonder why she is sitting on the edge of your bed softly crying.
Whats wrong dear? you inquire.
She answers with one of many possible horrible outcomes...
1. I slept with your best friend/uncle/father/grandfather/second cousin last Saturday.
2. You're going to leave me I know it.
3. When I was in the bathroom after we got done I took a whole bottle of sleeping pills. I'm sorry but I just can't go on.
Yep, have fun with that dude.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Here is an anecdote from my recent past with a BPD woman in an LTR ( 2 years ago )KontrollerX said:
When this incident happened we had been together for 6 months and had numerous dramas and about five breakups.
One afternoon, my dear sweet pet of a BPD woman said this to me after 3 hours of wine and hot breathless sex while sitting on the bed all demure, and looking a little 'distant and sad'..
" Jophil, I have to tell you right now that I am sexually attracted to your brother. He is a tall good looking guy ..."
This was another example of her NEED to create drama and her wiilingness to do it in the arena, and with calculated timing, to do maximum DAMAGE.
BPD women have no scruples, no empathy and no capacity for real affection. They will drain you in the most cruel ways. That is why they are called "vampires".
Approach at your peril.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Batman, aside from how far HER drama goes, did you ever give a thought to her
AFC CLINGY HUSBAND????
Who "will do anything to keep her with him"???
Like, show up at your work someday wanting to talk?
Waiting outside your house one day, wanting a chat?
Did you plan for this aspect?
Now this week when we all do our usual hang out thing she seemed alot more distant and not nearly as flirty as she was before. Even kissing me on the cheek at the end of the night lol.
Let the games begin I guess?
I was actually worried that she would cling onto me after we did it cuz the day after she was all giggly and in my stuff, talking about what we did the night before and how we should do it again.
Don't get me wrong, despite all of her problems I still think she is a pretty cool person. I'm just not looking for a gf and was pretty relieved when she started acting aloof lately.
What do you guys think? Game playing? Guilt on her part? The passion just kind of burn out?
I figure I'll just do my thing as usual and if we get horny for each other again we'll get together about it.
Anyway, to your situation - as the other posters have noted, this will be a wild ride (could be a lot of fun) but watch out for the ending. In a more sober moment you will realize this is a bad idea. If she gets divorced she is coming for you, if she does not, the husband may come for you....
Can you leave your city and move on?
Dietzcoi
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
She sounds like bad news and has some mental problems.
We still hang out now and then. Not nearly as much as the beginning of the summer. She started out hot and heavy, being totally interested in me and wanting to hang out all the time. Now the interest seems to have gone away for both of us.
We had planned to take a trip together and was talking about all the crazy sex we were gonna have the week before we left. But when we get there it's like neither one of us were interested in the other at all. We just kinda lounged around for the time we were there. We didn't even have sex cuz she said she was on her period. Even though I didn't see any tampon wrappers in the garbage anywhere and she didn't wear any underwear the entire time we were there (it's important for a woman to wear underwear when she's on her period right?).
It didn't bother me all that much though, I just wasn't really interested in doing anything with her while we were there. So we just ended up chilling out the entire time.
I have to laugh to myself after coming back to this thread and reading all of the advice and predictions you guys had for me and just kind of reminise over the whole thing.
She has her issues but I still like her as a friend. She's never screwed me over in that sense and as far as I know has never told anyone anything that I have confided in her.
puma183
Don Juan
Heretolearn
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Surely you can do better?
jafyk
Master Don Juan
Anyway, this lady told me that no matter how things ended she still hoped we could be friends and that she couldn't imagine not having me in her life. I don't think she was BPD. The thing that made her hard to resist was the fact that she treated me in the way I'd ve expected a girlfriend or wife to do. She cooked for me, did my laundry and even ironed the clothes, paid for my rental car, came to my apartment on my birthday when I wasn't there and put up a balloon and cake, came to my soccer games. She asked me not to fall in love with her (which was ok with me at the time) and then later she started to confess her love for me etc. I fell in love with her too.
Few months later she said he husband confessed about his affair to her and she felt obliged to confess to him too. She had initially promised me that she wouldn't mention my name. Even if she was going to mention my name I would've understood but she gave me that false sense of security; only to later go and mention my name to her husband. She even went as far saying that the few months between us never happened and then she got cold ( I felt betrayed). Then her husband started calling my work and home and making threats. I had to get a restraining order against him. He even trailed a friend of mine who was driving my car (because he thought I was the one driving) and then interrogated him. Eventually things kind of diffused. She got a divorce from him and although I've run into him in public places. He just says what's up and that's it. Well, things could've been worse. So, MrBatman. I hope you can learn something from my experience. I'd say this was one of the craziest things I had ever done. In the beginning it was fun and adventurous but the end was sour.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.