Married and having women friends

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Ricky

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The most revealing thing about that video is the look on the girls' faces when he asked them if their guy friend wanted to hook up with him. The expressions say it all. A lot of them looked like they were caught with their hands in the cookie job, like they were trying to get away with something.
It reminded me of something Chris rock said years ago. Basically that women keep male friends around like d$ck in a bottle! And they can break the glass in case of an emergency, lol.

So honestly with this friend alot of it is professional. She just messaged me for some advice on how we did stuff at our workplace now that she is in a new place.
 

Epic Days

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So honestly with this friend alot of it is professional. She just messaged me for some advice on how we did stuff at our workplace now that she is in a new place.
There’s no way in hell anyone is going to convince you otherwise. So be it. I just figured a man wouldn’t lie to himself as well.

You have pain that you need to suffer first. By all means continue on. There’s nothing anyone can do for you.
 

Ricky

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There’s no way in hell anyone is going to convince you otherwise. So be it. I just figured a man wouldn’t lie to himself as well.

You have pain that you need to suffer first. By all means continue on. There’s nothing anyone can do for you.
Honestly i totally get the other viewpoints too. A close friend of mine echoed the majority opinion here in that not only is my interest more than platonic in this case based on some of her actions her interest may be more than platonic as well.
 

zekko

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It reminded me of something Chris rock said years ago. Basically that women keep male friends around like d$ck in a bottle! And they can break the glass in case of an emergency, lol.
Women also keep guys around for what they can do for them. One guy might a truck or a van so he can help her move, one guy is handy so he can fix the sink or patch the roof, one guy has disposable income so he buys her dinner, one guy helps her with her taxes, etc.

I don't think it's impossible for men and women to have platonic friendships. I just think that in the vast majority of cases, one party or the other is harboring some secret feelings or sexual desire.
 
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Howiestern

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I think a man lacks masculine qualities to have such close relations with females he is not fuhking.

But I will put that aside and say this: By giving your time and energy to this other woman, you are short changing your own wife. Use that to better connect with your own wife. Your need to converse with another female should be met thru your wife, not this female friend. This is how marriages fall apart. The time you invest in that other woman needs to be invested in your own marriage.
 
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Ricky

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I think a man lacks masculine qualities to have such close relations with females he is not fuhking.

But I will put that aside and say this: By giving your time and energy to this other woman, you are short changing your own wife. Use that to better connect with your own wife. Your need to converse with another female should be met thru your wife, not this female friend. This is how marriages fall apart. The time you invest in that other woman needs to be invested in your own marriage.
I get this in theory but this woman works in the same industry as me whereas my wife doesnt so alot of our conversations are technical in nature although they have expanded beyond that since she is really an interesting woman.
 

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I also agree that i need to invest more time with my wife. We have been fighting a bit more than id like so i am sure talking to a woman where its all fun and no arguments is a threat to be honest. She did move about 6 hours away to a town i used to live in though
 

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I also agree that i need to invest more time with my wife. We have been fighting a bit more than id like so i am sure talking to a woman where its all fun and no arguments is a threat to be honest. She did move about 6 hours away to a town i used to live in though
Even though she doesn’t know where it comes from, your wife can feel this. Just keep in mind that you absolutely cannot compete with your wife for getting sex. It doesn’t even matter if she’s out of shape.
 
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Ricky

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Funny part is one thing i liked about this woman is she appreciated my honesty and how i would mention various women that i thought were attractive.

I know my wife has alot more opportunities for getting it, she is in shape and pretty so gets plenty of attention
 

ShePays

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One of the women i work with is one of my best friends now and she is leaving our company to move back to her home town and i am fairly sad about it. She is also married and we have bonded over stress at work, our mutual love of her hometown since i used to live there and have talked about life philosophies and joked alot.

In any event, i made the mistake of posting this in a guitar forum i read and half the guys think i am on the verge of cheating etc. Its a platonic relationship for sure and my wife knows about my friendship with her.

At the end of the day, i want to keep in touch because i enjoy talking to her. Is it really such a dangerous path to take? I feel the guitar page take is just from some unenlightened AFC types (not sure if they still use the AFC term on so suave).

We work in a small industry so she will be working with a group of people i used to work with as well when she moves to her hometown.
Does your wife have male friends...that she spends time with...when you aren't around? Would you hook up with this chick, if you both weren't married?
 

Ricky

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Does your wife have male friends...that she spends time with...when you aren't around? Would you hook up with this chick, if you both weren't married?
Wife doesnt have male friends that she hangs around with other than maybe at the crossfit gym. If we both werent married and i still worked with this woman i wouldnt date her since i dont date coworkers. But if she wasnt a coworker id date her haha
 

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Wife doesnt have male friends that she hangs around with other than maybe at the crossfit gym. If we both werent married and i still worked with this woman i wouldnt date her since i dont date coworkers. But if she wasnt a coworker id date her haha
How does your wife know about your "platonic" feelings for your co-worker?
 
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2Rocky

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How does your wife know about your "platonic" feelings for your co-worker?
Probably when his wife asked which one of his female friends he would like to invite for a threesome I suppose?

Beware guys.....It's a trap!
 

ShePays

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Probably when his wife asked which one of his female friends he would like to invite for a threesome I suppose?

Beware guys.....It's a trap!
If you're 22, and 2 naked chicks want to climb into your bed, i get it. If you're 44, and want a third person to climb into bed with the mother of your children, i get it -- IF you're trying to blow up your marriage.
 

Ricky

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I totally get what you guys are saying. I think the woman in this case truly considers me a friend, i do i think that while i enjoy her alot as a friend i also think she has been feeding my ego in terms of my career etc. Since i dont get that alot at work (i am in a role that several others do in my group) i think that meant alot to me.

She started her new job out of town this week. We have talked each day a bit. Its likely that will fade with time. Still quite fond of her.

Appreciate all the comments guys.
 

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I totally get what you guys are saying. I think the woman in this case truly considers me a friend, i do i think that while i enjoy her alot as a friend i also think she has been feeding my ego in terms of my career etc. Since i dont get that alot at work (i am in a role that several others do in my group) i think that meant alot to me.

She started her new job out of town this week. We have talked each day a bit. Its likely that will fade with time. Still quite fond of her.

Appreciate all the comments guys.
Sounds like that situation will solve itself. Now, hopefully, you don't get whacked by Karma.

Showing your wife how desirable you are to other women is a good thing. Showing your wife how much you desire another woman isn't. You want her to know how lucky she is, not to think what big losers you BOTH are. The best way to accomplish this is by your wife actually witnessing the positive attention you get from other women, while you act completely oblivious to it. So, if there's certain type of women that have this reaction to you, more than others, then make sure you and your wife spend some regular time around those types....but, it shouldn't appear that YOU have a fetish for this type. This will produce the desired effect, without blowing up your marriage.
 
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Ricky

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I agree. I have to admit that my platonic friend has been filling some needs my wife hasnt. She is complimentary to me whereas my wife traditionally isnt the type to give compliments.

My wife is empathetic but in a different manner than my friend. My wife had a more challenging childhood where she had to grow up and be independent early. I admire alot of things about my wife and her strength.

While i don’t plan to end my friendship with my colleague who moved, i will pay more attention to how it affects my relationship with my spouse. Quite honestly i do get a bit of a thrill when i receive a text from my friend.
 
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