Married and having women friends

mrgoodstuff

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Atom is correct. People rarely keep friendships that don't have a sexual element to it in my own experience. I have married friends at work that are openly flirtatious with me, but I wonder how much of that has to do with the seemingly inescapable fact that people are not capable of being satisfied.
Religious leaders do.
 
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John9999

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I have been on The other side of this. Where I was in a committed relationship and she had boatloads of guy friends. It’s just asking for trouble. I say no opposite sec friendships for either party.
 

John9999

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Yup sure is. The girlfriend i am referry to was dropdead gorgeous. I tried to explain to her that all these guys that were forwarding around her on Facebook wanted to get her in bed. She loved the attention. When i told her to stop it she would say “but I’m with you”. Literally the reason I broke it off.
 

Ricky

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Thanks all. Went to her going away party.

She did so much work at our place and the woman that worked with her closest was crying as she left and i almost did too. I think there are different emotions here. We felt she was unappreciated at work even though she did a great job, etc.

Its platonic and its over as she left the job and is moving away. I will take everyones advice for the future though to not get so close as i can easily see how dangerous this is and honestly it hurts too much too.
 
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Dr.Rocanlover

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I have a platonic work friend. Shes like in her 60s and she actually has a daughter that´s older than me. I love talking to her when I bump into her at work, and we joke and laugh and stuff but don´t I don´t really look for her or call her outside of work. I feel its a healthy friendship that only works because I have zero desire to bang her.
 

Alvafe

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I have a platonic work friend. Shes like in her 60s and she actually has a daughter that´s older than me. I love talking to her when I bump into her at work, and we joke and laugh and stuff but don´t I don´t really look for her or call her outside of work. I feel its a healthy friendship that only works because I have zero desire to bang her.
that is the thing, she is not rally a friend she is a collegue or someone you know, friends tend to do things together, out of work

a guys can only be friends with a woman if he finds her ugly, and even so there is some dudes who would nail just because she is "new"
 

rando5495

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One of the women i work with is one of my best friends now and she is leaving our company to move back to her home town and i am fairly sad about it. She is also married and we have bonded over stress at work, our mutual love of her hometown since i used to live there and have talked about life philosophies and joked alot.

In any event, i made the mistake of posting this in a guitar forum i read and half the guys think i am on the verge of cheating etc. Its a platonic relationship for sure and my wife knows about my friendship with her.

At the end of the day, i want to keep in touch because i enjoy talking to her. Is it really such a dangerous path to take? I feel the guitar page take is just from some unenlightened AFC types (not sure if they still use the AFC term on so suave).

We work in a small industry so she will be working with a group of people i used to work with as well when she moves to her hometown.
Lol the guitar guys are on it and are on it more than here apparently lol

Let's not piss around mate. You want to have her all over your bed.

They aren't ""unenlightened"; you are trying it on lol. Never wanted to keep up with any woman's ""friendship"" ever, and neither has any man that i've ever known other than to shag. And that's based on women being a million times far worse friends than men (unless you are gay, then it's probably different).

You are basically having a complete laugh and insulting the intelligence of everyone here.
 

jaymbrs

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The advice you're getting is ridiculous and honestly sad. I have multiple female friends who frankly I trust and can talk to about things like work and sports or when I'm going through some stuff with my GF and I have zero desire to sleep with. What you're doing shouldn't even be a question to ask. Ridiculous IMO.

And also I have been friends with a couple of females who I knew just wanted to me around to make their BF/husband jealous.. And as soon as I knew about that, I dropped them. You just need to know when and who to be friends with, men or women.
 

mrgoodstuff

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The advice you're getting is ridiculous and honestly sad. I have multiple female friends who frankly I trust and can talk to about things like work and sports or when I'm going through some stuff with my GF and I have zero desire to sleep with. What you're doing shouldn't even be a question to ask. Ridiculous IMO.

And also I have been friends with a couple of females who I knew just wanted to me around to make their BF/husband jealous.. And as soon as I knew about that, I dropped them. You just need to know when and who to be friends with, men or women.
Those wives/gf had a desire to "win" over their significant other.
 
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2Rocky

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I think there is a line you draw when it comes to work colleagues and friends.
Work colleagues: No social media friending, No one on one time out socially (Company and industry functions with group and spouses OK), no complsining about my family and spouse.

Opposite sex friends: same rules, but socially ok as couples...
 

Ricky

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Well she texted me a few times this and of course it made me happy. I cant say i had sexual thoughts about her but admittedly if she made the first move and kissed me itd be impossible to resist.

I do value her greatly as a friend and she is awesome both professionally and personally so to be honest her leaving has hurt almost as bad as a breakup. I think in particular at 46 now and having been pretty successful with women since my late 20’s, i found myself surprised how she kind of rocked my world when I absolutely havent been pursuing women outside of my relationship.

Time will tell if we keep up the friendship. I hung out with her socially a few times and sometimes her husband was with us. He is a real nice guy so honestly i dont want to cause them any issues.

She lives in a place i used to live in. I think part of my issue is that i am jealous and would prefer to live in this previous city also.
 

Trump

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One of the women i work with is one of my best friends now and she is leaving our company to move back to her home town and i am fairly sad about it. She is also married and we have bonded over stress at work, our mutual love of her hometown since i used to live there and have talked about life philosophies and joked alot.
Your best friend; the one you trust, the one you tell all your secrets to, the one you vent about life to, is decent looking female coworker who gets pounded 18 different ways from Sunday by her 6’1 husband every night?

Wow.

Its a platonic relationship for sure and my wife knows about my friendship with her.
Really?

‘Hi dear, just want to know who my best friend is.”
‘Who? Brad from your junior high days?”
‘No no, it’s my coworker.”
‘Oh ok. Is that it?
‘‘No no. She is female, decent looking, and I have bonded with her over stress at work, our mutual love of her hometown since i used to live there and have talked about life philosophies and joked a lot.”
‘No problem dear.”
‘Thanks.”

Either your wife is not good looking at all, or she is sleeping with another guy. If your wife has any type of value (or mind), she would divorce you in 2 seconds.

At the end of the day, i want to keep in touch because i enjoy talking to her. Is it really such a dangerous path to take?
No. Just call her husband and tell him you really bond with and love talking to his wife. Then record everything you discuss with her and play it for both your spouses. If they have no issue with it, rock on.

But come on bro, who are you fooling. You want to f this girls brains out and then some.
 

Ricky

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This woman is attractive but my wife is definitely more so. I think honestly this woman has just been more emotionally available than my wife who is so independent it can come off as cold at times.

I may just have to keep this thread open. It is truly unchartered territory for me as i rarely invest much time in the women at work. They like me because i am witty but this woman connected with me at a deeper level than that and she is pretty awesome so maybe i am kidding myself
 
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ubercat

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Mate you've had 10 experienced guys tell you nuff said you do you
 

Grewd

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Well, guess I won't tell this forum about my friends... I've never had an issue with this and neither has my wife or my parents or my friends. Are you all weak? Afraid you'll suddenly lose control and fvck someone you know you shouldn't? I don't get it.
 

Ricky

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Yeah honestly half my friends think she is into me and i want to fvck her and others understand. We had a pretty deep connection for friends but it was great and honestly i just want to keep it going if possible. The key will really be her and if she wants to stay in touch. She told me i was irreplaceable and that i make her day when we talk.

Its rare you become friends beyond a superficial level with people nowadays
 

zekko

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Watch that ... ^^^^
I've seen that video before, but it's a good one. Notice that all the girls he talked to were fairly attractive though, slim college chicks.
If you watch that, you might get the impression that the guy always is attracted, but the girl is happy being friends. Sometimes it's the other way around though, maybe the guy is willing to be friends, but the girl secretly wants more. Especially if the girl is not very attractive, or fat. But generally, if the girl is attractive, the guy is going to want to bang her.
 

zekko

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The most revealing thing about that video is the look on the girls' faces when he asked them if their guy friend wanted to hook up with him. The expressions say it all. A lot of them looked like they were caught with their hands in the cookie job, like they were trying to get away with something.
 
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