Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
I always set the bar low.. Common decency. If a person cannot give you common decency, they do not deserve to be in your life. This is true for any relationship in your life. The most important thing I can stress is self-respect. If you do not respect yourself, how can you expect anyone else to respect you? Use her body, but do not get emotionally attached. I do not get emotionally attached to any female any more. Will I lose some, sure, but it's better them than me.
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
And the irony is, once she senses he doesn’t really give a sh1t anymore, she’ll start going into extreme chase mode to lure him back into an exclusive arrangement. The beauty of this is, OP doesn’t have to do or say anything other than pull back somewhat.
Yep, this is usually the case. Females always want what they cannot get. A dude must leave some sort of doubt in their minds in order to have them chase and not be complacent. If they think you'd never leave or you'd run after them, then they have more power than you in the relationship. If they know that you do not care if they stay or go, depending on interest level, they will not chance it. It also depends on age. A female who's in their mid-20's has more options than a female in their mid-30's; despite what Sex and the City portrays.
I remember you and I's most recent ex's sounded so similar when we spoke in another thread.
well yeah and thats the thing isn;t it. some saying male friends are fine and don't be insecure... I agree, if it's just when meeting in social situations, when others are around (although would be foolish not to have a degree of vigilance, even if small)
Their action alone prevents "building". How will your "stuff" build up to someone causing distraction, disruption, and devauluation? It can't...Relationships are more or less about boundaries
if a woman is putting herself in a position where she can be seduced , is not really a woman that you can build things with
I think that it has more to do with trust . A relationship that does not have trust is doomed
Trust is important, but if all of her actions are derogatory behind your back, if she doesn't value you, if she's always doing things that cause disruption and a loss of peace, that no "building" can occur.
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
...nor should it.
when things happen , the very bad sensation that either a woman , either a man feels has to do more with braking the trust , and beating yourself up for thinking that you are less of a woman or a man ( because you think that if you were super they would not have done things in the first place ) , than with the fact that they indeed did something
take out the fear or loosing sex with a good looking woman , even though I know that it is difficult . You should not fear this , as if a girl like her slept with you , by association it means that other good looking girls would sleep with youStayed over there last night. Firmly in FWB category for me now.
Had a couple of beers together and generally had a good laugh talking about all sorts. Her daughter was apparently excited to see me and came out of bedroom a few times. Mum was losing her rag and didn;t like the way she was getting pretty forceful, almost aggressive by the end. Sat down next to me and said 'I wish she'd f*** off' or very similar. She's said similar a couple of times recently. Get kids can be difficult but didn;t sit right with me. Near beginning of seeing each other she told me about a guy she was dating for 3 months early 2020, who broke up with her soon after an argument after she apparently said something like chucking her daughter into bed - wonder if there was more to it and she said something more inappropriate.
She's alluded to hating the inital part of being a mum and has no interest in more. Career driven and works 60 hours a week. Not a massive red flag in itself, but when I consider how she is around her daughter at times, I have to question someone like this having an influence in my daughters life over the long term...
We then ended up having sex and her daughter walked in. She put her to bed and then came in, got upset and then resumed where we left off.
Woke up this morning and didn't have usual spring in my step like I usually do after staying at hers. Feels like some kind of fog has dissipated and her faults now outshine the positives. Can now see things more objectively, rather than influenced by emotion, sex and her physical attractiveness. Weird feeling driving home, almost a bit empty as she has gone from someone I was infatuated with to almost being repulsed by and not only for the issues I mentioned above around her daughter.
This coupled with stories she's said about never loving her ex husband, the way she deals with people at work and her daughter, makes me question whats ticking under her bubbly, happy persona. She told me she's in therapy once a week, so who knows whats going on underneath the hood. Can't see any kind of serious relationship ending well for me with her...
So I'm content to keep her as someone I have sex with once or twice a week, to keep me in the game (particularly during lockdown) but can't see any chance for anything beyond that. If I'm being honest I couldn;t see it lasting long term even if I didn;t feel that way. Too many things I overlooked, which would no doubt become an issue as time goes by.
Winding back to how we were at the beginning, but will see how things go as at least at the beginning I was unaware of a few things, which now effect how attractive I find her. She is good fun to be around, so don;t want to go overboard, but definitely aware of shift in emotions/head the past few days.
Was sat there last night thinking at points whether to raise the thing about her male friend, but just thought I don;t care enough, certainly not enough to make myself vulnerable and expose myself to her.
Texting each other today and feels like a complete chore. If she calls it a day, so be it, would just be a bit of a shame to lose someone physically attractive to have sex with.
Could just be tired as only had 3 hours sleep. Probably in denial and I'll be back with another concern in a few weeks
Yes, I know OPs a similar age to myself, but regardless of age, guys in general IMO should learn to stop making sex such a priority, and, perhaps, expend energy into other enjoyable / constructive activities.
Does this female really care about anyone? I mean she cares more about her career than her daughter. I'm sure you'll get more and more disgusted.Stayed over there last night. Firmly in FWB category for me now.
Had a couple of beers together and generally had a good laugh talking about all sorts. Her daughter was apparently excited to see me and came out of bedroom a few times. Mum was losing her rag and didn;t like the way she was getting pretty forceful, almost aggressive by the end. Sat down next to me and said 'I wish she'd f*** off' or very similar. She's said similar a couple of times recently. Get kids can be difficult but didn;t sit right with me. Near beginning of seeing each other she told me about a guy she was dating for 3 months early 2020, who broke up with her soon after an argument after she apparently said something like chucking her daughter into bed - wonder if there was more to it and she said something more inappropriate.
She's alluded to hating the inital part of being a mum and has no interest in more. Career driven and works 60 hours a week. Not a massive red flag in itself, but when I consider how she is around her daughter at times, I have to question someone like this having an influence in my daughters life over the long term...
We then ended up having sex and her daughter walked in. She put her to bed and then came in, got upset and then resumed where we left off.
Woke up this morning and didn't have usual spring in my step like I usually do after staying at hers. Feels like some kind of fog has dissipated and her faults now outshine the positives. Can now see things more objectively, rather than influenced by emotion, sex and her physical attractiveness. Weird feeling driving home, almost a bit empty as she has gone from someone I was infatuated with to almost being repulsed by and not only for the issues I mentioned above around her daughter.
This coupled with stories she's said about never loving her ex husband, the way she deals with people at work and her daughter, makes me question whats ticking under her bubbly, happy persona. She told me she's in therapy once a week, so who knows whats going on underneath the hood. Can't see any kind of serious relationship ending well for me with her...
So I'm content to keep her as someone I have sex with once or twice a week, to keep me in the game (particularly during lockdown) but can't see any chance for anything beyond that. If I'm being honest I couldn;t see it lasting long term even if I didn;t feel that way. Too many things I overlooked, which would no doubt become an issue as time goes by.
Winding back to how we were at the beginning, but will see how things go as at least at the beginning I was unaware of a few things, which now effect how attractive I find her. She is good fun to be around, so don;t want to go overboard, but definitely aware of shift in emotions/head the past few days.
Was sat there last night thinking at points whether to raise the thing about her male friend, but just thought I don;t care enough, certainly not enough to make myself vulnerable and expose myself to her.
Texting each other today and feels like a complete chore. If she calls it a day, so be it, would just be a bit of a shame to lose someone physically attractive to have sex with.
Could just be tired as only had 3 hours sleep. Probably in denial and I'll be back with another concern in a few weeks
Yeah it's weird, my smv is probably higher than ever on paper. but still have this real weak point handling women.
Learning to be nearly fearless in cold approach, and being good about pulling the trigger, has had the biggest impact on my romantic life. Doing that was the only way I had multiple women in my pipeline and ended up having to choose between which one I wanted to date, and having little care if things didn't work out with another. The empowerment that gives you manifests itself in so many ways that it leads to even greater abundance, because women can just smell the lack of neediness on you, and sense that there are other women vying for your attention.
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
