Male Attractiveness: Does It Lead to Jealousy?

[longtail]

I'm wondering if it can be counter-productive beyond a certain point. For example, it's great to be good looking in specific situations: bars, clubs, some social circle situations with attractive single women.

However, when around mostly average or below average looking people, it can create a lot of drama, jealousy and animosity.

Not that I want to be less good looking. I want to be as good looking as possible. But it looks like I am going to have to cut myself off from all low value people and hang out in a very exclusive group. The problem is, even other good looking guys will become jealous and protective and don't want any serious competition 'hanging around' which basically makes male friendships difficult if not impossible.

It's almost like good looking men are stigmatized beyond a certain point.

 

[flowtheory]

I'm wondering if it can be counter-productive beyond a certain point. For example, it's great to be good looking in specific situations: bars, clubs, some social circle situations with attractive single women.

However, when around mostly average or below average looking people, it can create a lot of drama, jealousy and animosity.

Not that I want to be less good looking. I want to be as good looking as possible. But it looks like I am going to have to cut myself off from all low value people and hang out in a very exclusive group. The problem is, even other good looking guys will become jealous and protective and don't want any serious competition 'hanging around' which basically makes male friendships difficult if impossible.

It's almost like good looking men are stigmatized beyond a certain point.

People have their own perceptions about you based on how they feel about their self compared to a physically attractive person.

I know if I don’t make the first initiative to say hey to new people, they will simply think I think I’m too good for them just because of my look. It can be annoying, because I’m only human too and can struggle in social situations or being confident at certain times or I’m just having an off day.

Attractive people are expected to be gregarious and play that archetypical role. But if they’re not, it can create issues; from my personal experience. Other men can resent what you possess and hold it against you. So attractive people have the benefit of being able to befriend more people, but it requires more effort. Because who doesn’t like talking to someone attractive? It increases their worth momentarily

 

[Chi Town]

Good looking guy checking in.....

never had any kind of hate or jealousy from anyone.....

It might just be you

 

[Spaz]

Different story same shiet.

Different online name still the same shiet from Naughty Ninja.

 

[wifehunter]

Hey, they don't call it the 'green eyed monster' for nothing.

 

[longtail]

Fvck yeah other guys get jealous. You can't just be good looking. You have to be on another level. I ditched those mofo's though. Let ugly guys and ugly girls wallow together in their mutual ugliness ha ha!

 

[drakeisfire]

You can tell by reading replies which guys are out of touch with reality and have little life experience and which ones have seen too much of reality. Maybe some guys are uglier guys on here in denial about their envy. Read some works by Robert Greene, it is some eye opening stuff, especially his latest books.

The answer is an overwhelming yes and this is from my experience as well as that of most good looking guys I know. I am 6'2, great shape and above average looks (not a model or anything) and the most resentful petty guys I know have been uglier guys.

The worst ones are uglier guys with big egos who desperately want female attention, they will hate your guts as much as possible the second they see women giving you more attention than they get.

You will get guys that envy the fact that people are paying more attention to you, giving you more of their time, calling you to more events and that women like you more. Some guys who are ugly with no ambition would just play it off as unimportant and go to playing videogames but you get ugly and genetically cursed guys with lots of ambition who were born short, facially deformed and less than attractive that will hate you for what you are given. These guys will be the ones most aggressively hitting on women and talking the loudest, trying to come off as the voice of authority in every situation, watch out for them. These are the most envious type of guys who will scheme against you at every turn.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Dudes do get jealous older ones not as much in my experience. Then again I've had multiple straight men remark how good looking I am. More so then women, so I guess it's unfair to generalize all dudes as jealous. Guys with options don't get jealous, if a guy is jealous he's obviously low on female plates or has none

 

[PeasantPlayer]

When I was struggling with plates at my own time in life I would get super jealous even though that wasn't directly my nature. I use to hook my boys up with females or we would share. It's when I started seeing women who were attractive with men I deemed lame betas still kind of bothers me lolol

 

[longtail]

This is probably your issue right here:



Thinking that these people are "low value" based on their looks, thinking you belong to a very exclusive group because of your own looks.... all of that probably reverberates in your behavior, the amount of attention you provide them, effects how inclusive you are when interacting with them, etc. Dismissive behavior like this can make people dislike and distrust you very quickly.

It is all in how you engage with people. If you possess the skills to be sociable, welcoming and inclusive, very very few people will have a problem with you, regardless of how gifted or handicapped they are in the looks dept.

You would be floored by how nice I am to people, including people who are total d1cks.

But I'm not as politically correct/social justice warriorish as you are: physically ugly people are in fact low value.

 

[fastlife]

@sangheilios @longtail etc.

Your issues aren't physical, they're social. And most social issues are emotional issues.

Will a good looking guy run into a little competition anxiety from time to time? Sure. Are some people not gonna like you? Of course. There are too many people for everyone to make in depth assessments of everybody else, so they judge you based on superficial information--the same way they would an ugly guy, a jacked guy, a homeless guy, etc.

Par for the course. For EVERYBODY. The issue is that your frame is so weak that, as soon as some dude sh1t tests you, it gets under your skin, your reactiveness (subcomms always come thru) amplifies their assessment & leads to unnecessary conflict. So while your appearance conveys high value, your reactiveness conveys low value--and people hate incongruence. They hate it because it fvcks with their own low effort construction of reality.

If you had a real sense of internal value, you wouldn't care about some randos in their driveways tool you on a jog. You wouldn't really care about how you look to begin with. As soon as you drop that ego-attachment, as soon as you are unfazed by those sh1t tests, there's nothing there for people to attack & they will more than likely adopt your frame that it's NBD.

If some dude starts talking about how I'm good looking or whatever, I immediately dismiss that topic--just say, Yeah, thanks, shrug or whatever. If he accuses me of being gay, I just agree & amplify. If a girl harps on it, I tell her God was just making up for giving me a small d1ck. Basically defuse, dismiss, make light of it until they drop it. Then you can befriend that person & turn competition to collaboration by just offering them value. Find something you like about them, compliment them on it, etc. For guys, the easiest way to make your looks a nonissue or even a benefit is to 1.) Never poach on their girls and 2.) Throw girls their way. Chances are, if you're good looking, you're not really competing with other males directly--the girls you go after should be a cut above the girls they go after; so if you find yourself talking to a girl who you're not into, throw her at your friends, throw her at a random group of guys nearby & those dudes will be your friends for life.

 

[longtail]

@sangheilios @longtail etc.

Your issues aren't physical, they're social. And most social issues are emotional issues...

This is the type of weirdness that makes internet forums a laughingstock. Some person you've never met claims that they know your situation and personality with absolute certainty when in fact they're engaging in nothing but idle speculation.

 

[longtail]

If you can't make male friends there's pretty clearly an issue. It isn't that difficult.

If you waste 2 years of your life posting garbage "advice" 10X a day there's pretty clearly an issue. You clearly don't have your priorities straight.

 

[longtail]

Ding ding ding I have a mental disorder.

Definitely more than one.

 

[longtail]

I wonder how mad I'll get if I keep responding...

It depends on how long it takes for your meds to kick in. A double dose might help.

 

[guru1000]

It depends on how long it takes for your meds to kick in. A double dose might help.

Hey NN, how's it going? I'm in the mood for some oysters, how about you?

 

[longtail]

I'm a retard but my mommy filled out an application for disability assistance. I hope she doesn't turn off my internet connection cuz this is my only connection to the outside world.

Maybe you'll find the courage to leave the house one day. It's OK.

 

[drakeisfire]

Yes but how many do you know? I don't think it's a common male trait.

Quite a lot, it is a common male trait. Read works by Robert Greene sometime and you will find out.

 

[corrector]

The worst ones are uglier guys with big egos who desperately want female attention, they will hate your guts as much as possible the second they see women giving you more attention than they get.

I'm going to weigh in here. I don't think it's fair to say uglier guys hate the OP's guts because he's getting more attention then they are. I think it's more likely they would be resentful of the women, not the guy. It's because women ignore the uglier guy completely or treat him like sh1t while being extra nice or throwing themselves in the OP. With that behavioral dynamic I don't know why women aren't the focus of the discussion because at least men are still civil to uglier women if you are not attracted to them. There is no excuse for bad behaviour from women which is really fueling all of that.

You will get guys that envy the fact that people are paying more attention to you, giving you more of their time, calling you to more events and that women like you more. Some guys who are ugly with no ambition would just play it off as unimportant and go to playing videogames but you get ugly and genetically cursed guys with lots of ambition who were born short, facially deformed and less than attractive that will hate you for what you are given. These guys will be the ones most aggressively hitting on women and talking the loudest, trying to come off as the voice of authority in every situation, watch out for them. These are the most envious type of guys who will scheme against you at every turn.

Again, it's the behaviour of women that are at issue. If every guy could get a woman regardless of how they look, relative on the scale of how, then there would be no need for any such discussion. The problem is when even ugly women are holding out for chads and everyone is inflated because of the internet and there is no bottom.

 

[longtail]

Quite a lot, it is a common male trait. Read works by Robert Greene sometime and you will find out.

They don't want to acknowledge it because they don't want to admit that they are in fact the jealous haters themselves. This means they are stuck with the ugly, old, fat women. I've seen guys, and been told about guys by both men and women, who waste YEARS pursuing a chick and getting nowhere.