"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Making the approach

DJBen

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Right, I've got the mindset I need sorted, but theres just something I need a hand with, guys:

At college theres a girl I keep making eye contact with... she looks right back at me and smiles slightly and looks slightly shy - this has been going on for quite some time. Thats all cool, but heres the problem.

she's never by herself.... ever :| otherwise I'd have easily made a move by now. I was wondering if any of you guys [especially brittish, you know what those brits are like for cold approaches :p] knew any way that I could walk over and pick up on something without sounding like a complete AFC or loser. I've been thinking of a way to sort of grab her attention to a vending machine or something, and try and make her come over - but that'll only work if A)she's really confident and B) the IL is pretty damn high

answers on a postcard ;)

EDIT: reading back through it, it sounds like oneitis... it isnt that bad. . . yet :p
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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JSH

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a) clubs and pubs, they have to go to the toilet sometimes (and surprisingly when out they tend not to go there in pairs).

b) Get a wing to distract her friends, just ask a mate to pull off one of her friends.

c)talk to the whole group and then ask to pull her aside (this is the easiest and probably most successful)

d) go up and ask to borrow her (good if she actually knows you).

e) dont stalk her, but watch where her friends leave her and then make a move.
 

DJBen

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B) and C) seem best, I've been casually looking for E but it never comes.

I doubt any of my mates would distract the other two, they have serious complexes as far as women are concerned.

I've made quite a few approaches on someone by themself, but not in a group... I guess I'm just gonna have to look for something to point out and try to get it rolling from there. I've never thought about A) before though, no idea why, I'll try that next weekend

thanks
 

splinterkb

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I'd say use a wingman. They are effective, or atleast in my experiences.
 
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