steve_erkle
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2008
- Messages
- 109
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when escalating, sometimes when i get nervous when i have to make a move. don't know why. advice other than, just do it?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
making a move
- Thread starter steve_erkle
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Do only what you are comfortable with. You can't go from driving a Civic to a Formula car in a single setting. You aren't less of a man because you want to move slower or are uncomfortable in a setting, go at it in YOUR pace.
Besides, if she really likes you, it heightens the anticipation for next time.
Besides, if she really likes you, it heightens the anticipation for next time.
Furyguy
Senior Don Juan
I was once petrified of making a move on this girl I really, really cared about.
I did. It was one of the best decisions of my life. Grow some balls and get it done, or don't and regret it the rest of your life. Your choice. If you can't do this for yourself, what the **** are you ever going to succeed at in life?
I did. It was one of the best decisions of my life. Grow some balls and get it done, or don't and regret it the rest of your life. Your choice. If you can't do this for yourself, what the **** are you ever going to succeed at in life?
Ixnys
Don Juan
Some advice...
Was going out with a girl. I was hesitant about making a move (kiss). I kept on waiting for an opportunity. A time when she would just stop moving and it would feel right. Didn't happen. I beat myself up when I came home.
Started dating this other chick a week or two later. She was a little more aggressive. I knew she was into me. I knew she wanted me to kiss her and I definitely was going to. I was waiting for when she was going to just stay still and look into my eyes and I would go in. When the time came and I was sitting with her on the couch I started to make my move but I think she could sense that I was waiting for the opportunity. She straight out almost mocked me and said, "Oh so you're gonna kiss me now? That's not the way you do it"
Anyways moments later I just ****ing went in and she was damn receptive.
Lesson learned was to not wait for a perfect moment. Get some isolation and then just go for it confidently. She'll be receptive. She wants you to make **** happen. Don't wait for her. If I was dating the other chick again I would have just gone for it and if I date anyone else I'll be confident knowing to just go for it. Once you do it once you'll have confidence and it won't be an issue in the future.
Just do it. You're nervous because you haven't done it before. Once you do it you'll realize that there was nothing to be afraid of. Funny huh? That's why confidence = experience
Was going out with a girl. I was hesitant about making a move (kiss). I kept on waiting for an opportunity. A time when she would just stop moving and it would feel right. Didn't happen. I beat myself up when I came home.
Started dating this other chick a week or two later. She was a little more aggressive. I knew she was into me. I knew she wanted me to kiss her and I definitely was going to. I was waiting for when she was going to just stay still and look into my eyes and I would go in. When the time came and I was sitting with her on the couch I started to make my move but I think she could sense that I was waiting for the opportunity. She straight out almost mocked me and said, "Oh so you're gonna kiss me now? That's not the way you do it"
Anyways moments later I just ****ing went in and she was damn receptive.
Lesson learned was to not wait for a perfect moment. Get some isolation and then just go for it confidently. She'll be receptive. She wants you to make **** happen. Don't wait for her. If I was dating the other chick again I would have just gone for it and if I date anyone else I'll be confident knowing to just go for it. Once you do it once you'll have confidence and it won't be an issue in the future.
Just do it. You're nervous because you haven't done it before. Once you do it you'll realize that there was nothing to be afraid of. Funny huh? That's why confidence = experience
steve_erkle
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2008
- Messages
- 109
- Reaction score
- 1
thanks a lot manIxnys said:Some advice...
Was going out with a girl. I was hesitant about making a move (kiss). I kept on waiting for an opportunity. A time when she would just stop moving and it would feel right. Didn't happen. I beat myself up when I came home.
Started dating this other chick a week or two later. She was a little more aggressive. I knew she was into me. I knew she wanted me to kiss her and I definitely was going to. I was waiting for when she was going to just stay still and look into my eyes and I would go in. When the time came and I was sitting with her on the couch I started to make my move but I think she could sense that I was waiting for the opportunity. She straight out almost mocked me and said, "Oh so you're gonna kiss me now? That's not the way you do it"
Anyways moments later I just ****ing went in and she was damn receptive.
Lesson learned was to not wait for a perfect moment. Get some isolation and then just go for it confidently. She'll be receptive. She wants you to make **** happen. Don't wait for her. If I was dating the other chick again I would have just gone for it and if I date anyone else I'll be confident knowing to just go for it. Once you do it once you'll have confidence and it won't be an issue in the future.
Just do it. You're nervous because you haven't done it before. Once you do it you'll realize that there was nothing to be afraid of. Funny huh? That's why confidence = experience
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.