"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

make up and break up... immaturity or road to ruin?

S

styleman

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I'm half Indian half English, she's Pakistani. I'm Hindu, although not very religious and she's Muslim.

We've been dating for around a year. We knew this would be an issue from the start, but there was an obvious spark from day one, so against our better judgement we gave it a go.

She admits to having discussed the situation with her friends, and they tell her that it can never work so she should move on. She comes from a relativly orthodox background, I do not. I console her and tell her we can work it out.

We don't fight a lot, we've never fought about religion or culture.

Its happened before, but this all amalgamted before this last weekend, and she told me things like, its like I can't live with you or without you, I hate you for doing this to me I'm so in love with you... I only tried to console the girl because honestly speaking she's young (about 4 years younger than me), she's seen little else in her life outside her own culture, and is indecisive by nature.

She seemed to have convinced herself that it can't work out, so eventually after around half an hour of talking I tell her she's won.

She is clearly upset about this, but I tell her I'm sleeping.

I spoke to her the next day and she was very cold with me, so I just was polite and let her be.

Today she messages me late at night, after I ignored her all day, asking where I am what I'm doing, I ask her some questions in return then tell her I'm going to sleep, she then goes on and on at me saying she hates me. I had it in my head that I would not take her back unless she apologised, but I do have a soft spot for her and I told her I love her. She tells me she doesn't believe me, so I get a bit annoyed by this, I tell her I am only doing what she wants by keeping distance and that I love her enough to let her go if that's what she wants. She eventually gives in tells me I love you too, and she comes over and has sex with me. Now I'm lost as to what to do, I know I shouldn't have given in so easily but I do actually feel bad if I upset her... Now the biggest thing is how to play it... I would like to keep her but I really need her to grow up and see that she can make her own life decisions and that if she loves me like she says she does then she should be willing to work for it.

Guys how can I keep her under control?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

L

L B

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Nothing you can do. Unfortunately, it is almost impossible for a person instantly think for herself and not care about what her friends, family, or religion thinks.

Continue your relationship with her if you can tolerate it, but as time passes, her main issue with you is only going to intensify. To make it work, you both have to put in the effort. If she doesn't do her put, the relationship is doom sooner or later.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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M

Maximummax

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So why you want to date a chick who asks her friends opinion whether to date or not to date you?
if you feel you are not comfortable with all this just move on
 
S

styleman

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Maximummax said:
So why you want to date a chick who asks her friends opinion whether to date or not to date you?
if you feel you are not comfortable with all this just move on
Click to expand...
Its not really as simple as that, you may or may not know India and Pakistan is a lifelong rivalry, much like Israelis and Palestinians.
 
P

pipe007

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trying to control another person = inner weakness.

you are weak right now
 
P

perseverance

Guest
Unfortunately I don't think it's going to last, when someone is religious, religion usually trumps everything and yes I know full well about the bad blood between India and Pakistan, you only have to read articles about Pakistan expressing concern about India's growing influence in Afghanistan.

Sometimes love just isn't enough, so you have to make a decision my friend. You can stay with her and except that at some point you two will split up due to religious differences, or you can break up now and walk away from it? Either way it's going to be a really hard decision.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

S

styleman

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Guys, I thought being a DJ was about being strong? Can't we be stronger than religion and social stigmas? Can't a girl feel so attached to you, that that is more important than anything else? How do we acchieve this?
 
L

L B

Master Don Juan
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styleman said:
Guys, I thought being a DJ was about being strong? Can't we be stronger than religion and social stigmas? Can't a girl feel so attached to you, that that is more important than anything else? How do we acchieve this?
Click to expand...
Not everything can be controlled. You can't force your will on others. They have to decide for themselves. You might be able to put a lot of effort in manipulating her into following you for so long. Eventually she will go back to her old self and in the process cause you a lot of drama.

Being a DJ, you weigh the cost and benefit of this and see if she's quality enough for you to waste all your effort/time to win her over or if it's better to pursuit others. Personally, I have better things to do than spending all this effort to get someone to love me. No woman is worth all that work.
 
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