"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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make up and break up... immaturity or road to ruin?

S

styleman

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I'm half Indian half English, she's Pakistani. I'm Hindu, although not very religious and she's Muslim.

We've been dating for around a year. We knew this would be an issue from the start, but there was an obvious spark from day one, so against our better judgement we gave it a go.

She admits to having discussed the situation with her friends, and they tell her that it can never work so she should move on. She comes from a relativly orthodox background, I do not. I console her and tell her we can work it out.

We don't fight a lot, we've never fought about religion or culture.

Its happened before, but this all amalgamted before this last weekend, and she told me things like, its like I can't live with you or without you, I hate you for doing this to me I'm so in love with you... I only tried to console the girl because honestly speaking she's young (about 4 years younger than me), she's seen little else in her life outside her own culture, and is indecisive by nature.

She seemed to have convinced herself that it can't work out, so eventually after around half an hour of talking I tell her she's won.

She is clearly upset about this, but I tell her I'm sleeping.

I spoke to her the next day and she was very cold with me, so I just was polite and let her be.

Today she messages me late at night, after I ignored her all day, asking where I am what I'm doing, I ask her some questions in return then tell her I'm going to sleep, she then goes on and on at me saying she hates me. I had it in my head that I would not take her back unless she apologised, but I do have a soft spot for her and I told her I love her. She tells me she doesn't believe me, so I get a bit annoyed by this, I tell her I am only doing what she wants by keeping distance and that I love her enough to let her go if that's what she wants. She eventually gives in tells me I love you too, and she comes over and has sex with me. Now I'm lost as to what to do, I know I shouldn't have given in so easily but I do actually feel bad if I upset her... Now the biggest thing is how to play it... I would like to keep her but I really need her to grow up and see that she can make her own life decisions and that if she loves me like she says she does then she should be willing to work for it.

Guys how can I keep her under control?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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L B

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Nothing you can do. Unfortunately, it is almost impossible for a person instantly think for herself and not care about what her friends, family, or religion thinks.

Continue your relationship with her if you can tolerate it, but as time passes, her main issue with you is only going to intensify. To make it work, you both have to put in the effort. If she doesn't do her put, the relationship is doom sooner or later.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Maximummax

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So why you want to date a chick who asks her friends opinion whether to date or not to date you?
if you feel you are not comfortable with all this just move on
 
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styleman

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Maximummax said:
So why you want to date a chick who asks her friends opinion whether to date or not to date you?
if you feel you are not comfortable with all this just move on
Click to expand...
Its not really as simple as that, you may or may not know India and Pakistan is a lifelong rivalry, much like Israelis and Palestinians.
 
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pipe007

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trying to control another person = inner weakness.

you are weak right now
 
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perseverance

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Unfortunately I don't think it's going to last, when someone is religious, religion usually trumps everything and yes I know full well about the bad blood between India and Pakistan, you only have to read articles about Pakistan expressing concern about India's growing influence in Afghanistan.

Sometimes love just isn't enough, so you have to make a decision my friend. You can stay with her and except that at some point you two will split up due to religious differences, or you can break up now and walk away from it? Either way it's going to be a really hard decision.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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styleman

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Guys, I thought being a DJ was about being strong? Can't we be stronger than religion and social stigmas? Can't a girl feel so attached to you, that that is more important than anything else? How do we acchieve this?
 
L

L B

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styleman said:
Guys, I thought being a DJ was about being strong? Can't we be stronger than religion and social stigmas? Can't a girl feel so attached to you, that that is more important than anything else? How do we acchieve this?
Click to expand...
Not everything can be controlled. You can't force your will on others. They have to decide for themselves. You might be able to put a lot of effort in manipulating her into following you for so long. Eventually she will go back to her old self and in the process cause you a lot of drama.

Being a DJ, you weigh the cost and benefit of this and see if she's quality enough for you to waste all your effort/time to win her over or if it's better to pursuit others. Personally, I have better things to do than spending all this effort to get someone to love me. No woman is worth all that work.
 
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