Maintaining Frame

bacchus

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It seems like there are certain women who make it almost impossible for a man to maintain his frame.

Without going into the details, one chick I’m currently seeing regularly makes comments that cut at my masculinity (I.e. telling me I cheated by setting a camp fire using lighter fluid bc a man shouldn’t have to rely on that, making fun of me for putting on bug spray, implying it makes me a pvssy). Generally just saying ball buster things, even though she started out fairly sweet and compliant.

She is also failing to comply with some of the requests I make (i.e. she was talking about having a sunburn, I playfully asked her to send a selfie so I could assess the damage, and she replies via text “haha nah” then went silent).

I’ve never acted butt hurt and am writing these off as her shlt tests, but it’s just annoying that women these days as a whole aren’t more feminine and respectful. They were much better in the early 2000s when I was in my 20s.

I’ve kept my frame, but I feel like it’s not sustainable. Any way to break this particular chick or should I cut bait? I’m not overly invested in her, but I am very interested in the challenge of making this one compliant as a learning experience and practice for the future. I’m fvcking others, spinning plates, and she is consistently giving me great sex.
 
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Jager

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Tell her to “Shut up” or “Stop talking” when she does that. Say with a smirk, but eye contact that says you’re serious. Or don’t. It’ll be effective either way. Don’t be afraid to put her in her place if she’s p!ssing you off or emasculating you. Like saying “You can go now” or something. Basically just making it known that you can and will find others.

By taking on the challenge, though, you would be investing in her. Time and effort into making her compliant is investment. It ends in you being cucked, be it in two weeks or a year from now. The result is going to be the same, simply because you invested.

Me, I’d just cut her loose. If I have other women, in abundance, I can get more. Cutting one loose isn’t an impediment. There’s plenty of women that can ride d!ck like a champ.
 

Jager

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Or just don’t react at all. That would work, too.
 

stormrider

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Yes there is a way. Expand your vision to "hero mode." Women don't give these guys a hard time. These guys have so much integrity that they are trying to change the world around them. They are not living to "banter" aimlessly and entertain women.

You can say don't react. But that's like being reactive. Your non-reaction is a reaction. It's better to be proactive. Expand your vision and focus beyond her. You can still be in the same proximity. But mentally and emotionally you are so far away from her that she looks like a child in your presence.

Women do not "test" serious men. Like no woman is going neg Obama or a CEO or even a guy trying to raise money for AIDS research or something. Women play games with guys who have no purpose for one reason and one reason only: You are living in their world of purposelessness and inconsequential banter.

It's not about being alpha vs beta around women. It's about having a purpose that is beyond women vs being aimless and having time to entertain their self amusement.

You cannot maintain frame if you don't have a compelling reality. And a man with a compelling reality automatically looks at women playing games as childish. There is no effort to maintain frame. Again, trying to maintain frame is reactive. Being proactive means having purpose, vision, goals, and passions beyond women. The frame is self sustained.
 
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Robert28

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Shows how much her dumbass knows. Every survival kit should have waterproof matches and/or lighter. It’s not HOW you get a fire started, it’s that you get it started in whatever way possible. No fire=you’re fvcked. Tell her you don’t feel like contracting Lyme disease from ticks or west nyle from mosquitoes but she’s free to risk it, but don’t ask you for big spray when she’s getting her stupid ass bit. Masculinity means you solve problems the easiest way, that’s what it sounds like to me you were doing. She and her “real men” will be cold and hungry while you enjoy your fire.
 

Jager

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Yes there is a way. Expand your vision to "hero mode." Women don't give these guys a hard time. These guys have so much integrity that they are trying to change the world around them. They are not living to "banter" aimlessly and entertain women.

You can say don't react. But that's like being reactive. Your non-reaction is a reaction. It's better to be proactive. Expand your vision and focus beyond her. You can still be in the same proximity. But mentally and emotionally you are so far away from her that she looks like a child in your presence.

Women do not "test" serious men. Like no woman is going neg Obama or a CEO or even a guy trying to raise money for AIDS research or something. Women play games with guys who have no purpose for one reason and one reason only: You are living in their world of purposelessness and inconsequential banter.

It's not about being alpha vs beta around women. It's about having a purpose that is beyond women vs being aimless and having time to entertain their self amusement.

You cannot maintain frame if you don't have a compelling reality. And a man with a compelling reality automatically looks at women playing games as childish. There is no effort to maintain frame. Again, trying to maintain frame is reactive. Being proactive means having purpose, vision, goals, and passions beyond women. The frame is self sustained.
I stand corrected. That’s a more constructive way of looking at it.
 

Spaz

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I don't believe in maintaining frame, it's a fallacy.

Frame is simply you, the whole you, the sum total of ur being.

If ur frame is easily broken or compromised then it's you that has a problem.

Yes, every man was born with certain inherent traits, that's naturally passive (expressives/intellectuals) or dominant (motivators/doers).

But whether u r inherently passive or dominant doesn't really matter as you can't change it, what can be changed or acquired is an accumulation of knowledge that will ultimately supersedes ur inherent core values.

That in turn will affect or influence you to act in a way that is far superior from what you were once before.

I won't and can't offer a step by step instruction manual because different men will have different core values, so the knowledge you acquired must be in-line with ur inherent traits and that will flow seamlessly in how you actually do things in real life - not coming off as a fake.

Just to recap, when frame is broken, work on acquiring more knowledge and then practicing on it until it becomes part and parcel of ur psyche.
 

samspade

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Yes there is a way. Expand your vision to "hero mode." Women don't give these guys a hard time. These guys have so much integrity that they are trying to change the world around them. They are not living to "banter" aimlessly and entertain women.

You can say don't react. But that's like being reactive. Your non-reaction is a reaction. It's better to be proactive. Expand your vision and focus beyond her. You can still be in the same proximity. But mentally and emotionally you are so far away from her that she looks like a child in your presence.

Women do not "test" serious men. Like no woman is going neg Obama or a CEO or even a guy trying to raise money for AIDS research or something. Women play games with guys who have no purpose for one reason and one reason only: You are living in their world of purposelessness and inconsequential banter.

It's not about being alpha vs beta around women. It's about having a purpose that is beyond women vs being aimless and having time to entertain their self amusement.

You cannot maintain frame if you don't have a compelling reality. And a man with a compelling reality automatically looks at women playing games as childish. There is no effort to maintain frame. Again, trying to maintain frame is reactive. Being proactive means having purpose, vision, goals, and passions beyond women. The frame is self sustained.
That's really insightful. Like a father focused on setting up camp while his young daughter goofs around.

In the long run I'd already be mentally nexting this chick though. Others will say you can dominate anyone, and that is true, but women like this just aren't my cup of tea beyond whatever hot bedroom action they can offer.
 

Trump

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I think stormrider meant to say women do not test “powerful” men. If you are “serious” and work at Walmart, she will still test you.

If she tests you, you have to call her on it. Makes fun of you for using lighter fluid? Call her on it. Makes fun of you putting on bug spray? Call her on it. If you don’t call her on her tests, she will think she is dealing with an educated dumb guy who doesn’t get when he is being insulted because he is so enamoured with her.

‘Hey bacchus, you look like a girl putting on bug spray.”
‘Sorry didn’t hear you, I’m too busy fulfilling my dreams and goals and desires and purpose in life.”

Come on..
 
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samspade

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If she tests you, you have to call her on it. Makes fun of you for using lighter fluid? Call her on it. Makes fun of you putting on bug spray? Call her on it. If you don’t call her on her tests, she will think she is dealing with an educated dumb guy who doesn’t get when he is being insulted because he is so enamoured with her.
And then what? You've called her on it. What do you hope to achieve by doing that?
 

speed dawg

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Couple of things to un-pack here:

1 - Why is she testing you?
2 - How to pass the test.

Number 1 has been hashed out there. Lot of good information in this thread so far. When in doubt, be busy. When you focus on something else, then your focus on her goes down. If this isn't happening naturally, do it intentionally.

Number 2 relates to how much you care. Let's focus on your campfire and bug spray examples. You can't just ignore her, because like others said, that is a reaction, and negative one. When she shames you about the bug spray, I would be like, "You want some?" or something like that. A reaction that conveys that you don't care. When she shames you about the lighter fluid, say, "They kicked me out of boy scouts" or equivalent. Then continue doing what you're doing.

Overall, if she's bothering you, I'd cut her ass loose. If you truly have other plates, which I doubt, this will be easy. Seems like her IL is going down quickly. Not like you really have any other options.
 

bacchus

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Couple of things to un-pack here:

1 - Why is she testing you?
2 - How to pass the test.

Number 1 has been hashed out there. Lot of good information in this thread so far. When in doubt, be busy. When you focus on something else, then your focus on her goes down. If this isn't happening naturally, do it intentionally.

Number 2 relates to how much you care. Let's focus on your campfire and bug spray examples. You can't just ignore her, because like others said, that is a reaction, and negative one. When she shames you about the bug spray, I would be like, "You want some?" or something like that. A reaction that conveys that you don't care. When she shames you about the lighter fluid, say, "They kicked me out of boy scouts" or equivalent. Then continue doing what you're doing.

Overall, if she's bothering you, I'd cut her ass loose. If you truly have other plates, which I doubt, this will be easy. Seems like her IL is going down quickly. Not like you really have any other options.

I do have other plates - no point is posturing on a thread for a bunch of strangers. I’m 39 but I pull good looking younger girls. Admittedly she is currently the one I’m most attracted to.
 

rando5495

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Overthinking. We all tease each other in life for a bit of fun. If you take it serious, tends to become serious.

Her: *something about using your lighter for the fire or whatever*
You: i'll throw you on there in a minute

She carries on, then lift her up like you're going to do it.

Point is one way you're enjoying yourself, the other you are on here about "muh frame".
 
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samspade

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Whatever happened to Agree & Amplify, that's a fundamental, people.

Her: Lighter fluid? You're not a man.
You: You're right, I'm a HUGE wuss. If a bear comes you're on your own.
 

Trump

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And then what? You've called her on it. What do you hope to achieve by doing that?
She has to know she is not dealing with a dumb idiot. ‘Hey Cindy, I can put Samspade down and insult him and he doesn’t even care. What an idiot.”

It all depends how you want to be seen. Some men don’t care. I completely care. Give you an example, I had a acquaintance who had a hot younger sister. She put me down hard. I called them out for a drink and then destroyed them. They haven’t said one word about me since.

If you can let insults go from girls because you are too busy fulfilling your purpose in life, more power to you. I’m not the type who can let insults go, you come at me, I’ll come back at you.
 

samspade

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She has to know she is not dealing with a dumb idiot. ‘Hey Cindy, I can put Samspade down and insult him and he doesn’t even care. What an idiot.”

It all depends how you want to be seen. Some men don’t care. I completely care. Give you an example, I had a acquaintance who had a hot younger sister. She put me down hard. I called them out for a drink and then destroyed them. They haven’t said one word about me since.

If you can let insults go from girls because you are too busy fulfilling your purpose in life, more power to you. I’m not the type who can let insults go, you come at me, I’ll come back at you.
You walk right into her frame when you do this. And while I'm sure you showed that girl good, she probably came away from it thinking you're over-sensitive, not that she was wrong.

Don't get me wrong, if it's a true insult, then yes, be serious and straightforward and tell her what's up. But you should do it then and there, and in the calmest way possible, not later on after you've invited her for a drink (did I understand you correctly there?).

Most of this boils down to ego. For my own sake I prefer not to let slings and arrows bother me if they're only meant to tease or prod a little. It's not worth my energy to get angry over words. So I can either avoid them, or laugh it off. If it's something serious, I'll address it...and we all get angry sometimes.
 

Jager

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I think stormrider meant to say women do not test “powerful” men. If you are “serious” and work at Walmart, she will still test you.

If she tests you, you have to call her on it. Makes fun of you for using lighter fluid? Call her on it. Makes fun of you putting on bug spray? Call her on it. If you don’t call her on her tests, she will think she is dealing with an educated dumb guy who doesn’t get when he is being insulted because he is so enamoured with her.

‘Hey bacchus, you look like a girl putting on bug spray.”
‘Sorry didn’t hear you, I’m too busy fulfilling my dreams and goals and desires and purpose in life.”

Come on..
That’s not what he meant. He’s talking about the core mentality of a man and how it relates to his reactions with women. I understand his point. There’s a difference, for example, of a man ignoring a woman as a reaction to her, and a guy who ignores because he’s focused on his vision and goals, not her. One is reactive, like a power play to show his dominance, whereas with the latter her tests and games don’t even register, because he doesn’t care that she’s doing it. The second case is more powerful, as her bullish!t is so low on his list it might as well not even exist. He’s got more important things to focus on.

I’m starting to understand your mentality about all this @stormrider. Correct me if I’ve misconstrued what your were trying to communicate.
 

stormrider

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That’s not what he meant. He’s talking about the core mentality of a man and how it relates to his reactions with women. I understand his point. There’s a difference, for example, of a man ignoring a woman as a reaction to her, and a guy who ignores because he’s focused on his vision and goals, not her. One is reactive, like a power play to show his dominance, whereas with the latter her tests and games don’t even register, because he doesn’t care that she’s doing it. The second case is more powerful, as her bullish!t is so low on his list it might as well not even exist. He’s got more important things to focus on.

I’m starting to understand your mentality about all this @stormrider. Correct me if I’ve misconstrued what your were trying to communicate.
Yes I think you get the gist of it. You can't be aimless because your vibration will be lowered down to everyone else's level of pettiness. Most humans engage in petty power games. You have to be above that. But you can't be a nomad either. You have to interact with human beings. But it doesn't mean you have to live in their reality.

If you guys think this is a theory, then put it to the test. Do a social experiment. Empty yourself of all purpose. Become aimless and place yourself among people and see what happens. Everyone and their grandma will try to pull you into their petty dramas. There is a price to pay for being aimless. And that price is human pettiness. The world is like a zombie apocalypse with a bunch of egos eating each other.

When you are aimless, you are subtlely telegraphing to people that it's okay to drag you down to their level because you don't value yourself enough to pursue anything great in life. Like you've relegated yourself to a background character in a movie. Notice the background characters deal with the most petty sh!t. Meanwhile, the hero gets the girl.

And also notice how in the movies when sh1t hits the fan, everyone reacts and start acting petty and desperate except for the hero. He's very much involved but his focus is on something greater.

Jesus said "I am in this world but not of this world." This is my attitude too. I am here, but not really here, if you know what I mean. If something is below my standards, it doesn't register in my reality. I don't even respond to most text messages from friends and family. Not because I am doing it out of trying to set boundaries or whatever. I am not reacting to them. I am too busy with my own life purpose that I don't notice them. This is different from reacting. This is being proactive. Nowadays, people only invite me to important events. And when I show up they feel honored. It's because I've made myself rare and valuable. I've set high standards for myself and people pick up on it.

With my female friends, they know not to call me up in the middle of the night and vent to me about their boyfriend problems. In fact, they don't even dare to act platonic around me. Even if they are taken, I always sense an underlying sexual tension with them. They are always doing things to try and get my attention. If anything, they are afraid to test me and risk losing validation.

Basically I have no female problems whatsoever. My world is so far from it. And it's because of one thing. I elevated my life purpose beyond women. But I also know what it is like to not have a greater purpose and have women give you sh1t. That's why I made the statement "Any guy who has petty female problems doesn't have a great purpose in life." At best, the aimless seducer is a human dildo. He gets to get off on women but he sacrifices his masculine soul in the process.

Think about it. Do you really want to be 40+ years old and deal with sh1t tests or would you rather be embarking on some life defining journey while banging women on the side while never taking them seriously?

Your life purpose should require so much masculinity that when you are in the presence of women and children, it feels like a summer breeze. This is the best way I can describe it. If you are aimless, even kids will give you sh1t.

My gift is that I was born with the perspective of the "hero" of the movie. I see the world through the lens of the main character. So if you want to be a main character, it might behoove you to heed my words (Although I probably couldn't care less if people listen to me or not). However, I understand a lot of background characters can't relate to what I am talking about. Nothing I am doing is of conscious effort. Being the main character is completely embedded into my personality and character. And from the main character's perspective, the girl is there for me. She shows up to support me in my journey of redemption. And so naturally, I reject anything that has to do with me serving women.
 
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