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Maintaining frame when girl has high interest level

bat soup

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So I matched with someone from fb dating and got her to reluctantly video chat with me instead of endless pointless texting. Soon into our call she was hooked.

I cut our video chat short after we were on for about an hour. She asked me to call her the next day but i didnt say i would for sure.

She texted me little messages throughout the morning and finally later in the evening I called her up intending just to ask her to meet me for coffee a few days from now. Rather than answer my voice call she called me right back on video chat lol.

I've been teasing her and giving her a lot of shi* and she'll text me throughout the day, say how handsome I am, qualify herself, fish for compliments and even talk about the future.

I do really like her but I'm not trying to get into something too serious right now. How do I keep her at an arm's length while maintaining her interest level? This is also the only girl I'm talking to IRL at the moment and the first I've really made a connection with since beginning to learn game.
It sounds like she's just wasting your time and stringing you along for attention. Hours of talking and messaging with someone that won't even meet up.

Get her to meet you alone and then escalate. If she won't meet up and just wants to continue with the endless chit chat, block her and move on to the next.
 

stringpuller

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She has an awesome personality and we really click,
Friend if you want to learn tight game. Get thoughts like these out of your head.
This is what she should be feeling and thinking.
Her actions and what she can do for you is way more important. That doesnt mean you dont eventually to a good thing for her later.
But to start the honeymoon phase take the beginning for what it is. 80/20 rule applies. My .02
 

oldmanofthesea

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You are asking great questions that bring me back to my awakening after my divorce.

So I'm curious, why must sex be rushed, according to game principles? I actually planned on taking things slow though I do plan on kissing her when we meet on Sunday.
This all depends on what you mean by "rushed." After my divorce and before I learned game and RP, my definition of rushed was very different from what it is now, as is my understanding about how quickly women want sex and what is likely to happen if they are ready for it and you don't give it to them.

9 out of 10 interested women don't want to take things slow with a guy they are attracted to, and a masculine man doesn't want to take things slow either. You like sex right? Any reason you wouldn't want to have sex with a variety of women you feel are attractive, and do so relatively quickly, and without any commitments, while you then take the time to get to know them and figure out which ones you want to focus your time on?

Also I hear a lot something to the effect of 'nothing attracts a woman more than not knowing where you stand'.
This advice trips a lot of guys up because it isn't specific enough. What it should really say is: Women want to know you are interested in them (romantically and sexually), but just slightly less than she is interested in you. It should be her hoping you make the moves, not you hoping she lets you. But this doesn't mean holding all your cards close to your vest, it doesn't mean going on many dates before you give her the opportunity to have sex with you, and this is ESPECIALLY true if you are meeting these women on dating apps or on the street. If you meet them because you are famous, or are the king of a social circle, many women will pre-select you and will chase you. In this situation, you can keep them guessing for long periods of time, bread-crumbing them to drive them even crazier.... but A: Why bother if they have already pre-selected you and B: You aren't in this situation. That "long-game" works best for famous people who are trying to date a 10 who is playing hard to get.

When I first started dating post-divorce, I didn't escalate fast enough. Much of it was due to my thinking that women want to take things slowly and aren't looking for quick hook-ups. I had some successes but far more failures where women who seemed interested in me would suddenly ghost me around the second or third date, and I got a lot of responses to my 3rd or 4th date invites of, "Hey, you're really cool and we have a lot in common, I enjoy hanging out with you but I'm getting relationship-vibes from you and I'm just not looking for that right now." That's code for, "I'm just looking to hang out, have sex, have fun, and see where it goes from there" or "I AM looking for a relationship, but with someone I know is definitely sexually attracted to me." I also had a handful of, "I've really enjoyed getting to know you but I'm getting more friend vibes from you." I cringe when I think back on all the missed opportunities but it's all part of the learning process.

Women expect you to try to sleep with them. If you don't, they take this as you rejecting their attractiveness or they will think you are gay and they will eject. Some women will do so faster than others. The attractive ones with lots of options will eject sooner. And in this day of social media, dating apps and an endless supply of simps, women are at no loss of options. If she wants sex and you don't give it to her, she's gone. You will need time and experience to calibrate your radar to know when a girl has decided she is ready for sex, but in the meantime, the fool-proof way around even a completely broken radar is to simply give women the opportunity to sleep with you from the first date onward. You do this by kissing them, touching them, seeing how they respond, and inviting them back to your house under false pretenses so their negative social conditioning isn't triggered and they have the opportunity to sleep with you if they decide to. If she doesn't accept, no problem, try again on the second date. You don't lose anything by doing this.
 

TonyJ78

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It sounds like she's just wasting your time and stringing you along for attention. Hours of talking and messaging with someone that won't even meet up.

Get her to meet you alone and then escalate. If she won't meet up and just wants to continue with the endless chit chat, block her and move on to the next.
Read it again. We're going for coffee on Sunday. I probably could have done it sooner but I wanted to make her wait a little and also not appear like I have nothing to do on the weekend.
 

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TonyJ78

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Friend if you want to learn tight game. Get thoughts like these out of your head.
This is what she should be feeling and thinking.
Her actions and what she can do for you is way more important. That doesnt mean you dont eventually to a good thing for her later.
But to start the honeymoon phase take the beginning for what it is. 80/20 rule applies. My .02
Yeah, makes sense. I would elaborate and say she has just given me about every sign that her interest level is high, both blatantly and subtly. The fact that her interest level is high and how she relates to me is probably a big factor in my attraction for her.
 

catsmeow

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I've been teasing her and giving her a lot of shi* and she'll text me throughout the day, say how handsome I am, qualify herself, fish for compliments and even talk about the future.
@TonyJ78 I just created a separate thread about this, but can you elaborate on how she "qualified" herself?

What did she say/do that constituted her "qualifying" herself to you?

Serious question, see my thread, it's confusing to me.

Thanks.
 

TonyJ78

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@TonyJ78 I just created a separate thread about this, but can you elaborate on how she "qualified" herself?

What did she say/do that constituted her "qualifying" herself to you?

Serious question, see my thread, it's confusing to me.

Thanks.
I'm trying to remember specifics but she just said a lot of stuff to build herself up to me. Also when I would tease her or challenge her she would kind of go in the defensive rather than be like 'whatever'.
 

TonyJ78

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I should add that during our first conversation I told her that I'm separated. She kind of got a scared look until I said it had been 8 months and there's no romantic feelings involved. She said that's cool but she wouldn't want to have a threesome or anything. She also said she wouldn't want to share but that she is like cocaine in that she's addictive and I might keep wanting more. So yeah the sex thing has come up lol
 

stringpuller

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I want to add something to this idea of maintaining frame at the beginning with girls.
First thing to do is have your expectations in order. Being redpilled has a certain amount of expectation control. And start each girl at the same. I recomend 0 and go from there.
 

TonyJ78

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I want to add something to this idea of maintaining frame at the beginning with girls.
First thing to do is have your expectations in order. Being redpilled has a certain amount of expectation control. And start each girl at the same. I recomend 0 and go from there.
Can you elaborate? You mean like 0 value?
 

Murk

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Frame is so hard to change once it’s set.
Every girl I met while spinning plates was into me and wanted LTR, because I didn’t give a ****. My current ex gf I met while banging many women and she followed me for 4 years while I did my thing. If you go in simpy and needy, really hard to climb out of without going NC and reengaging
 

TonyJ78

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Well...
An update I guess...
So she texted me earlier and I went out tonight drinking. And texted her back.

Anyway, long story short, she invited me to her place, knowing I had been drinking, even though she said she doesn't like being around drunk ppl. We talked for a minute before I kissed her. I knew she would be down because I could just tell from the vibe she was giving me before we met. We ended up making out and doing about everything else, including oral. When we started actually ****ing though I went soft and told her we should do that another time. So yeah obviously I have an issue as far as that goes. She was cool with it though and invited me to her bedroom. We laid there, kissed a little more and just talked for a bit. I'm into energy and spirituality, which I know not everyone is down with. But anyway we really click in that way as well. I told her when we meet on Sunday we're gonna have to do something different.
 

Murk

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Well...
An update I guess...
So she texted me earlier and I went out tonight drinking. And texted her back.

Anyway, long story short, she invited me to her place, knowing I had been drinking, even though she said she doesn't like being around drunk ppl. We talked for a minute before I kissed her. I knew she would be down because I could just tell from the vibe she was giving me before we met. We ended up making out and doing about everything else, including oral. When we started actually ****ing though I went soft and told her we should do that another time. So yeah obviously I have an issue as far as that goes. She was cool with it though and invited me to her bedroom. We laid there, kissed a little more and just talked for a bit. I'm into energy and spirituality, which I know not everyone is down with. But anyway we really click in that way as well. I told her when we meet on Sunday we're gonna have to do something different.
Limp **** while drunk is normal, make up for that in the morning or it doesn’t look great leaving her unsatisfied
 
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