LTRs and problems with intimacy

jaymbrs

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Most guys who are addicted to porn are struggling to even TALK to girls. Telling them they can only break their porn addictions by fulfilling their porn-fueled fantasies is.....beyond....useless advice. Looks like whomever you're conversing with is on my block list, probably for being a self-professed "INCEL," which makes that advice even more ludicrous. Try just advising him to get out of the house. One step at a time.
He doesn't sound like he struggles to talk nor meet women. So if he wants a woman who will hold his attention sexually, he could follow what I said.
 

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ShePays

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He doesn't sound like he struggles to talk nor meet women. So if he wants a woman who will hold his attention sexually, he could follow what I said.
Accept my apology, then. I thought you were addressing that to one of the incels I blocked. Carry on.
 

Suave88

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Highly disagree with this. Sosuave is about teaching men to develop self worth and for them to use that to either pick up women, have better relationships, and/or to be happier in general.
His problem is sex, not intimacy or attraction or mind set. Not all women feel the same and not all men are the same in sex.
 

Suave88

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If you've developed an addiction to porn, you need to find a woman who looks like your ideal pornstar and can satisfy those physical desires for you. I struggled with this in the past and managed to get with a girl like that and the intimacy never died down. It didn't work out with her because she wanted to get married and I didn't. That was 8 years ago and I'm still okay with that decision.
Totally incorrect. Looks is secondary when it comes to sex. Some women want to fvck man while others want to be fvcked. Does she likes to be down or does she likes to be on top. Yan women want to be on top while yin want to be under. Climax is never the same. Some women get wet faster some come with heated pvssy like the seats in a luxury car, some are just ask cold as a bycicle seat in winter time. Some have a great look, but know nothing. Some last hours, some minutes. Some have large capacity, some middian capacity, and some are small capacity. Meaning, they cannot handle large cvcks. Some are elephant, some are mule, some are ant. You won't know until sex time.
 
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Suave88

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Next

Next year im 39
Ok, so I will assume you were born in 1981. You are a yin guy. And 38-10 is 28. Your girl is also ying. This union works in a social aspect, but not in sex... I am sure she is better than the hand, but there can be an improvement. You mentioned she is wife material, so I assume she is good looking or nice, loyal, and a honest person. You should keep her, but start to look at other prospects. You could also marry her, but look at other women for a change.

I can tell you who is yang, and get well with you. So girls born in years (1988, this is your best shot) 1990, 1992. You may deal with girls born in 1982 and 1980, and also 1978.

The other women may posses social issues. Communication may be a problem.

I deal a lot with this. The women I like don't communicate with me smooth, and the ones I don't like, can hold a conversation with me easily. This is many times very challenging for me. The passion becomes a torment. Frustrations mounts on. However, I don't have the sex problem you have. I have had some experience with women I don't get along well in sex, but such relations are temporary.

Now, my advice is practical and the source comes from my own personal experience, observations and reading of oriental culture.

I cannot teach about attraction or pick up lines. You seem to be doing well in this area.
You should not go around asking women, their date of birth. However, I am good at telepathy. Yesterday, there were some female coworkers smoking and chatting at work. I hover over the group, because I am interested in one and they all said their age. Don't go out asking about this, just date the woman and if you dont like her, move on.

You should think about your previous girlfriends and make a contrast between that girl and this one.
Alternatively, all women in escort business are yang.. So if you want to know the difference quick enough, you know what to do.
 
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MachinePT

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Thank you for all your replies.
Read all you said and i think i really need to heal myself from high stimulous high reward behaviours (booze, porn, chasing *****), thank god i dont like drugs.

Have 4 girls interested in me currently, i like the attention, but dont have enough drive to go through the process seduction with them right now. Thats when i see something is wrong. Think i know what i have to fix.
Thanx for all the help :)
 

logicallefty

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OP I've dumped so many women in my life for this or that. It became such an easy thing for me to do. I've been fortunate to always have options to move on to the next one, like you, if I wanted to. Let me tell you what happened to me a couple months ago which tweaked my thought process on the matter. My 16 x year old daughter has a boyfriend who is 18 who I really like a lot. They have been in a LTR for 2.5 years. He is everything in a man I would ever want for my daughter. WELL, a couple of months ago she told me she was thinking about dumping him because she had a connection with this 15 x year old kid at school. This was in a text, so I had a chance to craft my answer carefully. The first thing that went through my head was "Sh|t, I need to put my like for the BF to the side and be objective for her in my answer to this." Then the next thing was "Do I want to teach her to be like me, dumping a person on a dime? Is that the right way for a dad to teach his daughter? " And I decided "No, it's not".. So here is what I came up with. I told her before she dumps him, to do these two MENTAL TESTS with herself, in her head only, and to be 100% honest with herself:

1) Hypothetically think about if she dumps him. Then decides she makes a mistake. Tries to get him back. And he says "fvck you leave me alone I never want to talk to you again... I asked my daughter to really think about how she would feel in this scenerio

AND

2) I asked her to think about her routine. She hangs with the BF 5-6 days a week. I told her to think about every day of her week one day a time from Monday - Sunday. Think about each day she would normally be with the BF. And then think about what she would do to occupy her time if she didn't have his.

So what happened? She said with #1 she would be crushed and depressed and with #2 she would be bored out of her mind.

So, they are still together as of today.
 

markfromeurope

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OP I've dumped so many women in my life for this or that. It became such an easy thing for me to do. I've been fortunate to always have options to move on to the next one, like you, if I wanted to. Let me tell you what happened to me a couple months ago which tweaked my thought process on the matter. My 16 x year old daughter has a boyfriend who is 18 who I really like a lot. They have been in a LTR for 2.5 years. He is everything in a man I would ever want for my daughter. WELL, a couple of months ago she told me she was thinking about dumping him because she had a connection with this 15 x year old kid at school. This was in a text, so I had a chance to craft my answer carefully. The first thing that went through my head was "Sh|t, I need to put my like for the BF to the side and be objective for her in my answer to this." Then the next thing was "Do I want to teach her to be like me, dumping a person on a dime? Is that the right way for a dad to teach his daughter? " And I decided "No, it's not".. So here is what I came up with. I told her before she dumps him, to do these two MENTAL TESTS with herself, in her head only, and to be 100% honest with herself:

1) Hypothetically think about if she dumps him. Then decides she makes a mistake. Tries to get him back. And he says "fvck you leave me alone I never want to talk to you again... I asked my daughter to really think about how she would feel in this scenerio

AND

2) I asked her to think about her routine. She hangs with the BF 5-6 days a week. I told her to think about every day of her week one day a time from Monday - Sunday. Think about each day she would normally be with the BF. And then think about what she would do to occupy her time if she didn't have his.

So what happened? She said with #1 she would be crushed and depressed and with #2 she would be bored out of her mind.

So, they are still together as of today.
Now let's imagine outcome of this situation if its a single mother that would need to answer this question of 16y old daughter...
 

logicallefty

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Now let's imagine outcome of this situation if its a single mother that would need to answer this question of 16y old daughter...
I am not perfect but I know one thing, a woman wouldn't have been as objective as I was. I wanted to tell her she was being stupid for thinking of dumping the BF for some punk video game playing kid, but I didn't put my bias into it. It was tough but I did what I had to do as a good dad (hopefully).
 
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2Rocky

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What about novelty in OTHER parts of your life? Frequently change jobs? Or same job, same routine every day?

Maybe scuttling relationships is easier than growing in your career or finding new challenges in your current position?

When there is excitement and uncertainty outside your relationship sometimes the relationship is what grounds you...
 
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