LTR - Sex **** test question

[pranshu]

From my previous post to @Randolph .

such occurrences are extremely rare..and we men do appreciate when a woman has the balls(metaphorical ofcourse) to take responsibility for her mistakes..you gained a point in my book...now you have lesser negative final score

 

[Randolph]

@Randolph I read your initial post again with fresh new eyes this morning, specifically the first paragraph, and not sure where my head was yesterday, but agree with others that she does sound like a huge PITA.

I'm not just saying that because I was harshly criticized, I really do mean it.

I think I was overly focused on the second paragraph wherein she complained that all you wanted was sex (my interpretation) and she felt objectified and undervalued even though I acknowledged the way she presented her complaint was bytchy and demanding.

Anyway, apologies and I really think you deserve better.

EDIT: I'm curious, why did you break up with her and why did you go back?

Generally speaking, it's never wise to get back with an ex.

Good luck though whatever you decide to do.

Thanks.
Well in short, because she's not hot enough and extremly emotionally immature. Constant gaslighting because of her insecurities. This type of behaviour has been turning me off alot in the past, still does.

 

[Randolph]

I disagree. NOT receiving sex on your terms is beta and entering her frame. If you want sex, she should give it to you willingly and with no issues; sans period, sick, etc. Ever hear of dead bedrooms? No sex = beta and weak.

Kind of agree here. Never been fully denied, just had some resistance which I have pushed trough. Feels wierd but like you are alluding to, not acceptable to be denied sex.

 

[Randolph]

We are still having sex every time we hang out although she has been offering up some halfassed resistance which I have taken as a sign of declined interest as well as a **** test / frame test and handled as such.

Regarding the declining attraction that is my fault for giving her too much of my time, attention and some power within the relationship in an unnatual way. Usually she does 100% of the pursuing, atm maybe 70-80%. However us hanging out basically every day, me neglecting some of my priorities and acting somewhat weak, atleast alot weaker than usual has done damage, nothing wierd about that.
Also what has done damage or made her apprehensive and acting out in the relationship is me treating her with alot of disrespect during the time we dated and while she was trying to get me back. Ofoucse I'm not proud of this but I cant change it. So her biggest fear right now and before is that Im just going to drop her from one day to another like I did before, one mistake and wham bam you are gone. So she's very sensetive to things that reminds her of my past behaviour. Such as, sleeping with other women, total disregard for her feelings and opinions etc.

However, I still find it easy to make her horny when we hang out and like I said, we still have sex.

We had a chat yesterday about sex where I mentioned earlier that something has been wrong with me where I crave sex in an unnatual way and at the same time do not enjoy it as much as I used to due to PED abuse and this is me being totally honest and not lying to downplay my mistake with her in her ears.
This made her cry because she took offence that I dont enjoy sex as much as I used to. We kept chatting, she felt good and we had sex, zero resistance.

I have come to the conclusion that me abusing som PEDs lately has wreak havoc on my system causing hormonal imbalances that has given me severe anxiety, irritability, restlessness, insomnia and cravings to nut in a way I have not experienced before. It's not horny want to nut but just a frenzy feeling that "I need to bust" even though I'm not feeling horny.
This has made me really uncomfortable and I have been acting really out of character because I'm usually very level headed, not needy and purpose oriented.

So my plan for now on is go of PEDs, pull back some attention and hang out less for a while, be mindful of my behavior and focus more on friends and purpose.
This should do the trick because this will return things to normal.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Randolph]

He shouldnt have LTR her again. She´s an ex. OP broke one of the Iron Rules.

True and I might regret in again, we'll see.

 

[Randolph]

What were you aiming to gain mentioning the use of PEDs?

To her? I was not aiming to gain anything in partical tbh except for her to understand why my behavior has been of base lately and that I've identified the problem and am doing something about it. I mean she has not told me that I'm acting wierd but she sure has noticed. And I think it's a normal thing to talk about it if in a relationship, just mention "hey I have been feeling like sh*t for the last couple of weeks/months because of this and now I know why, this is how Im going to change it".

I have been having severe anxiety and depression symptoms and from time to time not being able to get it up which ofcourse women take personally. At first I thought it was stress because of work but yea.

I use PEDs too, what are you using tren? Have yu checked your E2 levels and progesterone? Those can cause libido and anxiety issues.

Yea, figured something like that. I have scheduled to get my bloodwork done.

 

[Randolph]

Update:
She caught me DMing some chick on insta and freaked out. It’s over and I really feels it’s for the the best. I knew deep down it was not right but my ego got the better of me.
Appreciate all you guys input!
Will read up on the iron rules.

 

[Atom Smasher]

First off I don't "lecture," I express an opinion as you and everyone else does.

Secondly, and I mean no disrespect when saying this, but don't blame your wife because you were a simp with no backbone and she lost respect for you, and behaved as such.

That's on you man, not her.

Thirdly, since you decided to finally grow a pair and act like a man, you're chosen course of action is to "put her in her place," essentially bully her.

Sorry that is NOT a man acting from his masculine frame, it's a bully. And advice I hope the OP does NOT follow..

Better advice imo would be to choose women wisely from the getgo.

DON'T choose a woman for a LTR who you feel you need to "put in her place" and bully to get your needs met, including sexual needs, that is not the way to go. It will create a very unhealthy and toxic dynamic between you.

OP, during these early stages, observe, observe, observe. If what you observe is not to your standards or liking, no need to call her out, put her in her place or bully.

Just dump her for goodness sake and look for a better woman. Or keep her as a casual plate.

For a LTR, choose with your head as well as your d*ick.

Both are necessary and required in order to choose wisely and the best woman for you.

May I ask why you broke up the first time? And how it was you got back together?

Context is important.

“First off, I don’t lecture.”

Proceeds to deliver the quintessential lecture.

 

[RickTheToad]

Kind of agree here. Never been fully denied, just had some resistance which I have pushed trough. Feels wierd but like you are alluding to, not acceptable to be denied sex.

If they push back and then give in, then you pull away again, which drives them crazy. I do it so often. I just say, I lost interest.