LR - 110

[BPH]

It has been an ACTIVE month...4 new women in a little under 30 days...

I actually have 2 of these to write from this weekend. This one will be longer, and I may have to break it into 2 parts, and if I have some free time, I might write up a post I wanted to write up last week, but I'm just gonna start writing and see how it goes...

I've included some screenshots to give you an idea of what these girls look like, and how I talk to them, while keeping their information private. It looks like I can only attach 3 per post, so I'll just toss up a link to an imgur link: HERE

Night One

Alright, so I'd matched with this girl on Hinge, and after a short conversation throughout the week, got her number.

This was set to be an interesting weekend because my buddy would be out of town Friday and Saturday night, and he asked me to look after his pets while he and his fiancée were away. He knows how I am, so his only request was that if I brought a woman back, I wouldn't have sex in their bed - very reasonable. I was just excited to be able to go out in Philly without having to worry about driving or breaking the bank on an Uber home.

Anyway, we texted back and forth quite a lot leading up to the weekend. Normally, I'm pretty to-the-point, and usually suggest others to do the same. But the conversation was flowing, she was flirty, long responses, multiple responses, liking messages, etc, so I enjoyed talking to her beyond just making the plans. I went fishing by telling her that I would be dog-sitting, and that she would be welcome to come over and meet the pets after we had drinks if she was having a good time. She mentioned that she doesn't go over to anyone's place on a first date, and that she'd like to get to know me a little better first. This was fine, but it also tempered my expectations a little bit about how things would go when we met up.

The original plan was to see her Saturday night, and maybe Friday night if one of her friends flaked on plans they'd made, which they did. Unfortunately, she misinterpreted one of my texts and thought I'd be out with one of my friends, before realizing I'd meant that he would NOT be joining me because he decided to stay local - in Delaware. Due to that misinterpretation, she made plans with another group of friends and was very apologetic when she realized her misunderstanding. I told her I'd be out by myself and free later on if she changed her mind.

Now, to backtrack a little bit, I initially "overbooked" when it came to this weekend in Philly. I had 5 matches that I was trying to coordinate with, and an existing FWB who lives in the city. This girl was my 1st choice by a mile - absolutely beautiful face, and very sexy all-around. The girl who was my 2nd choice (and the topic of the next LR I'll toss up) said she wanted to come over, but ended up having some wine and passing out around 10 PM...again. The 3rd girl wasn't great at responding to texts, and would later tell me she was on her period (and very quickly showed me what page she was on), so we tentatively have plans for next weekend. The 4th seems like too much of a "nice girl", so my interest was low after I checked her Instagram. And finally, the 5th doesn't drink, wanted to be taken to dinner, and was the least responsive, so I didn't even bother with her. The FWB told me she was feeling sick that night.

All this to say, by the time I got there, all of those plans had fallen through for reasons described above. So I was a little miffed, but I was still in Philly, and more than capable of having a good time and meeting somebody while out solo, which is exactly what I did.

Started out at Barstool, but it was a little underwhelming, so I left after about an hour or so. Went to McGillin's, and that wasn't anything special either, but still better than Barstool, so I hung around - I was also pretty hammered by this point, so that helped.

While here, to my surprise, the girl I described as being my 1st choice texts me, asking if I'm still out. I tell her where I am, and she says she'll be there soon. She arrives maybe 5 minutes later with her cousin and one of her girlfriends. They had been out and about and weren't having a great time anywhere, so she decided to come see me. Her cousin and her friend go upstairs to use the bathroom and give us some privacy. We hit off, grab a drink together, and make some small talk - everything is still pretty friendly by this point.

The cousin and friend come downstairs, and the friend decides she's going to leave early because her migraines are acting up, leaving me, the girl, and her cousin. They have an invite to this classy speakeasy and bring me along. It's a dark, very fancy bar and restaurant in the basement of this building - very intimate and much quieter and less crowded than where I was. The cousin goes off to talk to the guy who invited them, and I'm with my girl, grabbing a drink at this bar. The conversation is a little more flirty, so I tell her, "There's something I really want to try", and go in for the kiss. Very receptive, and also a very good kisser. She would later tell me that once she realized I was a good kisser, she knew she would end up bringing me home. We have these on-and-off mini makeouts while we enjoy our drinks, and once the bar closes, she asks me if I want to come hang out for a little bit, to which I agree.

We walk to the cousin's car, she drops us off, and we go upstairs to a very nice apartment. She has a ton of space because her roommate recently moved out to live with her man, and has a huge "common area" to go along with a spacious bedroom - and all for cheaper than I'm finding online for the same price, where $1,100/mo basically gets you a studio shoebox...

She gets us both some water, sits down on the couch with me, and we very quickly get down to business. Clothes come off, we transition to her bedroom, and end up going 3 rounds before finally going to sleep sometime around 6 or 7 AM with the sun starting to come up. We have some pillow talk, cuddle a little bit, then pass out. Both of us woke up with pretty rough hangovers, but we powered through them, got dressed, and got our lives back together. She asked if I'd still like to see her tonight, to which I very much agreed.

I then ordered my Uber, had her walk me out, kiss me goodbye, and that was it for the first night. She was a lot of fun...into everything in the bedroom, and looked just as good with makeup as she did without. Very much enjoyed her.

 

[BPH]

Night Two

After that very fun first night together, we made plans to see each other a little earlier as more of a date night event than a chance meeting at the same bar late at night. I was actually surprised she wanted to go out, rather than stay in, since she was talking about not wanting alcohol that morning, following the hangover.

The vibe was different, and I'm a little unsure how the future is going to be with this girl. In retrospect, I probably could've done "better", but there were some obstacles I didn't think I should try pushing through.

In her words, she agreed that we had really great chemistry...but that she also wants to get to know me to see if she actually likes me. For the most part, I think it went well, but it was more interview-y than it was flirty. For starters, she had planned to go on a run with her friend early-ish the next morning, so she didn't want to have another crazy booze-filled night where she's up until the sun rises. This also meant that she didn't really want to have me over that night, nor did she want to stay with me.

This outing was more in-depth: she was curious about my family, my religious views, my political views, my hobbies, my work, etc. It wasn't too serious, and we still had fun and bantered, but it did feel like she had a checklist of topics she wanted to touch on. Notably, she doesn't care about my living situation, stating that her parents would've preferred to have her living at home with them, but that she just prefers being out in the city where things are happening. As far as her dating history, she was in an on-again, off-again relationship for 5 years before ending it, and that was about a year and a half ago. She's also a nurse, so I know the reputation that occupation has. She seems very sweet and genuine, but it also sounds like she doesn't require commitment, even if she would want it, ideally.

She was still receptive to kissing, but isn't the biggest fan of PDA, so I tried to limit my touchiness a little bit here, too. In a few weeks, she's going to be traveling to Paris with one of her girlfriends for a while, so we have tentative plans to meet up 2 weeks from now, when I'll be dogsitting for a longer period of time. This upcoming weekend, she's not free because she'll be back home with her family for Mother's Day.

It started getting late, so she ordered us an Uber. We did a 2-stop ride, so I stayed with her until she got to her apartment, kissed her goodbye, and texted her when I arrived at my stop. She told me she had a lovely time before saying goodnight and heading to bed.

I'm not sure how to feel about this. Night One was fantastic...but maybe she feels like she did too much, too fast, and has to pull back a little to preserve her sense of identity, or maybe because she feels I need to try harder than I did that first night. I'm not really sure. I'd be curious what @BeExcellent might think about this. My gut feeling is that she didn't seem particularly committed to that tentative future date, but I could be wrong. Maybe she's just a bit embarrassed, because all the way up until I left her apartment that morning, she was butterflies and rainbows...

We'll see. I'll probably give her space unless she texts me, then hit her up that week and see if she's still committed to the plan. Would definitely like to see her some more.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Congrats @BPH

I'd relegate this chick out of the top 3 if you barely get to touch her the day after a 3-bang night. Ideally you want to cement the sexual nature of the burgeoning situationship.

 

[BPH]

Congrats @BPH

I'd relegate this chick out of the top 3 if you barely get to touch her the day after a 3-bang night. Ideally you want to cement the sexual nature of the burgeoning situationship.

You mean top 3 as in situationships? I barely have a top 1 or 2.

The most enthusiastic girl moved an hour further south to take care of her ailing grandpa, and I only recently picked things back up with my FWB in Philly.

But I agree, and am surprised that the vibe felt a little different after such a fun first night. I couldn't possibly understand what's going through her head, which is why @BeExcellent might have some perspective on this. She, uniquely, has met me and has seen how I come across, and can also offer insight as to what might be happening - even if only to come to a better understanding.

What sticks out to me most is her question about my politics and her behavior in the car. I'm a details guy, and I think it's the little things that matter.

In answering the question about politics, I sidestepped that by saying that it's dependent on the issue, and that I'm not rigidly right or left. Judging by the fact that she asked, you could probably guess where she stands.

Secondly, in the Uber on the way to her apartment, I held her hand and was rubbing her fingers with mine. She pulled away to show me something on her phone, or respond to her friend, I don't really remember, but I noticed she didn't put her hand back in mine.

It's the little things. So, we'll see.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Night Two

After that very fun first night together, we made plans to see each other a little earlier as more of a date night event than a chance meeting at the same bar late at night. This also meant that she didn't really want to have me over that night, nor did she want to stay with me.

This outing was more in-depth: she was curious about my family, my religious views, my political views, my hobbies, my work, etc. It wasn't too serious, and we still had fun and bantered, but it did feel like she had a checklist of topics she wanted to touch on.

She was still receptive to kissing, but isn't the biggest fan of PDA, so I tried to limit my touchiness a little bit here, too.

because all the way up until I left her apartment that morning, she was butterflies and rainbows...

So basically ...a hinge first date turned into an all night sleepover which then for some reason (as if that wasn't enough) spilled into ANOTHER date the next evening as-well !?!

Why are you committing to spending so much time with a random woman you met on a dating app ?

You're saying she was all butterflies and rainbows in the morning but it sounds like you were too

Cuddling !?! wtf

its too much too fast , problem is where as being men we can just shrug it off , women tend to dwell very very deeply on it.

Idk what your looking for out of this but it sounds like its already been well over cooked

 

[BPH]

So basically ...a hinge first date turned into an all night sleepover which then for some reason (as if that wasn't enough) spilled into ANOTHER date the next evening as-well !?!

Why are you committing to spending so much time with a random woman you met on a dating app ?

Why not? I had a good time, so why not try to have another good time?

You're saying she was all butterflies and rainbows in the morning but it sounds like you were too

Yes, we both had a very good time...

Cuddling !?! wtf

I don't know about you, but having a naked woman nestled into the crook of your arm, with her head on your chest is pretty fu**ing great...

its too much too fast , problem is where as being men we can just shrug it off , women tend to dwell very very deeply on it.

Idk what your looking for out of this but it sounds like its already been well over cooked

Maybe. She'd said a few times that she never does anything like this, and politely declined my invitation to come visit the pets I was taking care of until she knew me better, even if that invite wasn't flirty or sexual.

As far as what I'm looking for? Consistency would be nice, but I know that's harder to find when I'm not looking for anything serious. I really enjoyed the girl from my LR - 109, as well as this girl, so I'd prefer to keep seeing them a few more times.

If not, that's fine; there are other options, but I definitely have my preferences. And as I've stated before, if I'm attracted enough to sleep with a woman once, I'd usually want to keep sleeping with them if I had it my way.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Maybe. She'd said a few times that she never does anything like this,

Lol they all say that , women know giving it up quickly is low value behaviour and their main bargaining chip which is why most go to great lengths to hide and their bedroom activities.

She's banged a guy she's known for 5 mins off a dating app I can practically guarantee you are not the first and you won't be the last

Again as I've seen in many of your previous posts you race into bed with these random women and then make these huge posts wondering what to do next

If the goal is too sleep with as many random women as possible great go for it I did exactly the same in my 20's

I'm just not sure what the point os of these huge posts when they all pretty much follow the same script and ending

 

[BPH]

Lol they all say that , women know giving it up quickly is low value behaviour and their main bargaining chip which is why most go to great lengths to hide and their bedroom activities.

I know. I'm simply stating that because she's actually acting like it on this second night out.

She's banged a guy she's known for 5 mins off a dating app I can practically guarantee you are not the first and you won't be the last

More like 2 hours, but I get you're being hyperbolic.

Again as I've seen in many of your previous posts you race into bed with these random women and then make these huge posts wondering what to do next

I seek to understand that which I do not. I believe that plays a significant role in why I'm as good at this as I am.

If something doesn't go the way I thought it would, I ask, "Why?" You might've seen that I wrote another LR from this same night with a different woman, so I'm not that hung up about it...

If the goal is too sleep with as many random women as possible great go for it I did exactly the same in my 20's

I'm just not sure what the point os of these huge posts when they all pretty much follow the same script and ending

I'm not sure why you seemingly hate on them so often.

If they're not your cup of tea, that's fine, but then I don't know why you read them and decide to leave a reply.

Most posts on this forum are either newer guys asking for advice or older guys reposting some dystopian article about the current dating landscape and theorycrafting.

I post these to show that some of us ARE going out into the real world and having success with women. I recently started working with a client because he found this forum, read my posts, resonated with them, and wants the same results for himself.

If you don't have anything positive to add to the conversation, nobody is forcing you to press "Post reply".

 

[Clockwerk50]

This is an excerpt from The Art of Seduction. I know it goes against your goal of sleeping with a lot of women, and obviously your approach and process work, but you may find that adopting a slower pace will help you sleep with the same woman multiple times and keep more women in your orbit.

Anyways, good stuff.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You mean top 3 as in situationships? I barely have a top 1 or 2.

The most enthusiastic girl moved an hour further south to take care of her ailing grandpa, and I only recently picked things back up with my FWB in Philly.

But I agree, and am surprised that the vibe felt a little different after such a fun first night. I couldn't possibly understand what's going through her head, which is why @BeExcellent might have some perspective on this. She, uniquely, has met me and has seen how I come across, and can also offer insight as to what might be happening - even if only to come to a better understanding.

What sticks out to me most is her question about my politics and her behavior in the car. I'm a details guy, and I think it's the little things that matter.

In answering the question about politics, I sidestepped that by saying that it's dependent on the issue, and that I'm not rigidly right or left. Judging by the fact that she asked, you could probably guess where she stands.

Secondly, in the Uber on the way to her apartment, I held her hand and was rubbing her fingers with mine. She pulled away to show me something on her phone, or respond to her friend, I don't really remember, but I noticed she didn't put her hand back in mine.

It's the little things. So, we'll see.

Probably thinks you only want sex from her and she might want more.

 

[The Duke]

A few things:

1. Always leave them wanting more. 2 dates in less than 24hrs doesn't allow this to happen. Just because you want to and she does, doesn't mean you should. Always good to show a little restraint. Too much of a good thing isn't always a good thing.

2. Its hard to have good energy the next day when you drank and fuhked all night long.

3. Careful bringing their inner wh0re out too fast, too early. She might have some regret. Every single one of these girls will put out within minutes of meeting a new guy they are into. Her not putting out doesn't make her a good girl, and her putting out doesn't make her a bad girl. All it says is everything aligned at that moment in time, some guys are better seducers than others. I can only remember 2 out of almost 100 that ever told me no. That tells me women are easy or I'm good, or maybe both. Same thing going on here with BPH.

4. Nothing wrong with the cuddling after you have connected.

Stay in touch and see where it goes. I wouldn't worry about it. Keep the fun vibe going.

 

[BPH]

This is an excerpt from The Art of Seduction. I know it goes against your goal of sleeping with a lot of women, and obviously your approach and process work, but you may find that adopting a slower pace will help you sleep with the same woman multiple times and keep more women in your orbit.

Anyways, good stuff.

View attachment 15404

Having read the book, I would align myself more with the Rake than with the Siren or the Ideal Lover being described here, though more so the Siren. I don't really burn myself, and "insatiable" would be a better descriptor.

Anyway, I actually thought about this the other night. If she had stayed too busy to see me Friday night, and was only able to see me Saturday night, the most likely difference would've been that I'd have had the outcome of Night Two without Night One. Given her availability moving forward, I wouldn't think I'd have had the same result this weekend if that had been the case.

The more serious relationships that I've been in also started with intimacy early, and they were just as sweet and excited for me on the back end as they were on the front end.

1. Always leave them wanting more. 2 dates in less than 24hrs doesn't allow this to happen. Just because you want to and she does, doesn't mean you should. Always good to show a little restraint. Too much of a good thing isn't always a good thing.

Maybe. I thought, if anything, it would've helped her avoid feeling used, or as if I only wanted a one-night stand out of her. I didn't see that as being a negative, but you could be right.

 

[The Duke]

Having read the book, I would align myself more with the Rake than with the Siren or the Ideal Lover being described here, though more so the Siren. I don't really burn myself, and "insatiable" would be a better descriptor.

Anyway, I actually thought about this the other night. If she had stayed too busy to see me Friday night, and was only able to see me Saturday night, the most likely difference would've been that I'd have had the outcome of Night Two without Night One. Given her availability moving forward, I wouldn't think I'd have had the same result this weekend if that had been the case.

The more serious relationships that I've been in also started with intimacy early, and they were just as sweet and excited for me on the back end as they were on the front end.



Maybe. I thought, if anything, it would've helped her avoid feeling used, or as if I only wanted a one-night stand out of her. I didn't see that as being a negative, but you could be right.

It's always a judgement call.

 

[BeExcellent]

Just back from Vegas last evening......OK. Here's my $0.02:

This woman likes you. Chemistry is there (and genuine desire and chemistry is great to have) but the second night she is thinking more rationally BECAUSE she likes you. She is fishing to see (on the second night) how you react to waiting for more sex, she is also wanting to find out more about you, how you tick....she is wondering if there might be enough outside the bedroom to perhaps pursue actually dating you. You were cool, and you went with the flow. You did not get angry or pouty or put off by her tapping the brakes after you had tapped dat ass the night before. That is good.

Everything is fine. You need to work a teeny bit more on your own outcome independence, and NOT worry so much about the little details like her not putting her hand back into yours in the Uber on the way to drop her off. Way way way to early for worrying about stuff like that.

Physical closeness and sexual intimacy quickly can be overwhelming, and she knows what her history happens to be, and she might be drawing back a little to make sure you are not just going to push for sex (or else drop her), and to reset her own rational thinking.

This is good, and plays into your modus operandi longer term.

Be cool, but keep the contact "warm" and stay comfortably in touch with her. Reach out to her (do not expect her to chase you), give her something to respond positively to, and see if she responds. Keep it light, and fun and banter-y.

Give her enough time to create a fantasy in her mind (absence makes the heart grow fonder), and allow her enough space to hope she hears from you. This creates "good anxiety". That "good anxiety" creates sexual tension and anticipation, which benefits you the next time you actually see her. Being apart is what builds this....too much will blow things up, not enough will blow things up. It is up to you to figure out the right balance of absence and presence with her.

I think this phase of the 'get to know' interaction can be the most tricky. Just be your light, fun, cheeky, witty self, be charming, If you handle this with deft, you can extend the interaction....in time perhaps if she is texting you back, you can toss in the occasional quick phone call. Voice contact carries more non-verbal cues than just words on a screen. You can hear tone and emotion and level of engagement via voice call. Incorporate that into your tool box if you haven't already.

She likes you, she likes your look, she likes your sexuality. Now the real seduction begins and you can see if you like each other beyond just sexual compatibility. Seduction is always about the mind if it is going to be effective.

You initiate (periodically)....see if she responds (+).

In sales you always "assume the sale". Do the same here, but "do not sell what is already sold" either. Do some homework on what that means.

As long as she is saying "yes", that is a green flag.

Good for you and Cheers!

 

[Sega Genesis]

Hey @BPH first off want to say I 100% agree with what @The Duke and @BeExcellent posted. Really good stuff.

All of it but especially the part about always leaving her wanting more. You don't want to appear too eager which two nights in a row tends to do IME. You control the pace.

Get those hamster wheels spinning, just a little bit, not too much, not too little. It's creates "good anxiety" as BE said. It's always a delicate balance.

I'll probably give her space unless she texts me, then hit her up that week and see if she's still committed to the plan.

I think this^^ is a mistake. Don't make her chase. As BE said, YOU lead.

Remain confident and assume the plan is on unless and until she reveals otherwise with either words or actions (i.e. not responding when you text).

Stay in touch and see where it goes.

This.

You initiate (periodically)....see if she responds (+)

And this! Otherwise she may possibly think you just wanted to f*ck her.

Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[Clockwerk50]

Having read the book, I would align myself more with the Rake than with the Siren or the Ideal Lover being described here, though more so the Siren. I don't really burn myself, and "insatiable" would be a better descriptor.

Anyway, I actually thought about this the other night. If she had stayed too busy to see me Friday night, and was only able to see me Saturday night, the most likely difference would've been that I'd have had the outcome of Night Two without Night One. Given her availability moving forward, I wouldn't think I'd have had the same result this weekend if that had been the case.

The more serious relationships that I've been in also started with intimacy early, and they were just as sweet and excited for me on the back end as they were on the front end.



Maybe. I thought, if anything, it would've helped her avoid feeling used, or as if I only wanted a one-night stand out of her. I didn't see that as being a negative, but you could be right.

My perspective on that passage is the paradigm between love and lust. A person in love is emotional, malleable, and easier to be led astray or misled. A person in lust is harder to control and, as soon as it’s satisfied, may run for the hills. Love takes time to develop, and when there are bonds of love and then sex happens, it tends not only to deepen that connection but also to create a sense of surrender from the other person.

In this case, the sex was emotionally uninvested. I think on the second meeting she was trying to shift things toward bonding, but there wasn’t enough foundation yet for that to feel natural, so it came across as a change in energy and "odd"

Regardless, you can have uninvested sex regularly, so I wouldn’t read too much into it beyond what it is.

 

[BPH]

Everything is fine. You need to work a teeny bit more on your own outcome independence, and NOT worry so much about the little details like her not putting her hand back into yours in the Uber on the way to drop her off. Way way way to early for worrying about stuff like that.

I agree. I wouldn't say I was worrying so much as I was noticing. That divorce lawyer, James Sexton, had a bit during his interview when he was asking his client when she knew the marriage was over. She described that any time she was getting low on a specific type of oatmeal, her husband would go out of his way to restock it before it ran out. Then, when he stopped and never replaced it, she felt something was off, and she was right.

I just think details matter, so I listed the hand thing in the Uber to provide a fuller picture.

Otherwise, I agree, and appreciate your 0.02 as always

I think this^^ is a mistake. Don't make her chase. As BE said, YOU lead.

Remain confident and assume the plan is on unless and until she reveals otherwise with either words or actions (i.e. not responding when you text).

To clarify, I'm not ignoring her or just going MIA, but I do think I need to let off the gas a little bit.

I texted her last night that I had a great time with her this weekend, that I was back home in Delaware, and that I'd love to see her before she left for Paris. She hasn't responded to that message.

So, like @BeExcellent said, I'll probably do some research, pick a restaurant she might like since she's a foodie, and tell her I've already got it planned out for her to see if she's excited. I think that would be a good gauge of her interest. But I do think I need to wait maybe a week or so to present that, unless I hear from her first - I don't want to smother her either.

 

[BeExcellent]

I agree. I wouldn't say I was worrying so much as I was noticing. That divorce lawyer, James Sexton, had a bit during his interview when he was asking his client when she knew the marriage was over. She described that any time she was getting low on a specific type of oatmeal, her husband would go out of his way to restock it before it ran out. Then, when he stopped and never replaced it, she felt something was off, and she was right.

I just think details matter, so I listed the hand thing in the Uber to provide a fuller picture.

Otherwise, I agree, and appreciate your 0.02 as always



To clarify, I'm not ignoring her or just going MIA, but I do think I need to let off the gas a little bit.

I texted her last night that I had a great time with her this weekend, that I was back home in Delaware, and that I'd love to see her before she left for Paris. She hasn't responded to that message.

So, like @BeExcellent said, I'll probably do some research, pick a restaurant she might like since she's a foodie, and tell her I've already got it planned out for her to see if she's excited. I think that would be a good gauge of her interest. But I do think I need to wait maybe a week or so to present that, unless I hear from her first - I don't want to smother her either.

Depending on when she goes to Paris, I would NOT try to take her to dinner before her trip. If its within 2 weeks (her trip), then just reach out here & there beforehand & hit her up AFTER she returns.

Why? Right now she is anticiating a fun trip flirting with sexy Frenchmen. Tough to compete with that. So don't. You've said enough for the moment. Let your last text hang out there unless/until she responds. Her focus is on France right now.

If and when you do take her out, keep it casual, and present it as "So I'm gonna go check out this cool spot....feel like tagging along?" Always in the beginning give off the vibe that if she declines, you are going anyway. What that does is raise the possibility that A.) if she doesn't tag along you could potentially invite someone else....and B.) you are going any way and some other girl might take an interest in you in her absence. Keeping it casual "hey wanna join?" also keeps it low key, you leading, and comes from more an abundance mindset than asking her if she wants to go out on a specific date/time.

Its less pressure when presented this way.

Text her something cheeky a few days prior to her trip & tell her to have a good time. Then be quiet for the duration of the trip. Bow out of competing with the exotic and unknown. Let her miss you. She might.

 

[BPH]

Depending on when she goes to Paris, I would NOT try to take her to dinner before her trip. If its within 2 weeks (her trip), then just reach out here & there beforehand & hit her up AFTER she returns.

Why? Right now she is anticiating a fun trip flirting with sexy Frenchmen. Tough to compete with that. So don't. You've said enough for the moment. Let your last text hang out there unless/until she responds. Her focus is on France right now.

If and when you do take her out, keep it casual, and present it as "So I'm gonna go check out this cool spot....feel like tagging along?" Always in the beginning give off the vibe that if she declines, you are going anyway. What that does is raise the possibility that A.) if she doesn't tag along you could potentially invite someone else....and B.) you are going any way and some other girl might take an interest in you in her absence. Keeping it casual "hey wanna join?" also keeps it low key, you leading, and comes from more an abundance mindset than asking her if she wants to go out on a specific date/time.

Its less pressure when presented this way.

Text her something cheeky a few days prior to her trip & tell her to have a good time. Then be quiet for the duration of the trip. Bow out of competing with the exotic and unknown. Let her miss you. She might.

I very much agree with the part in bold, and I think that's why she ended up meeting me out on Friday night.

We already made plans to see each other next Thursday, since I believe she leaves the weekend or Monday afterwards, since that's when I'd be up in Philly again, dogsitting for a longer duration. I can follow through with that, assuming she does the same.

Just wanted to clarify since it sounds like you think I should NOT do that. She might change her mind by then, but I don't think that means I should change mine first.

 

[Sega Genesis]

In her words, she agreed that we had really great chemistry... but that she also wants to get to know me to see if she actually likes me.

^^Ouch.

I hesitated to post this as I didn't want to be negative; you can take my words with a grain of salt (which you often do - I take no offense) but....

What's quoted above, her words? This is not good. I do not think a woman who was truly interested wouid ever say this to a man after an entire night of hot steamy sex. Or ever.

Not the wanting to get to know you part but rather what's after that (bolded/underlined).

That combined with the change of vibe/energy on the second, all her interview-y type questions, her wanting to head home alone and the fact she has not yet responded to/acknowledged your thoughtful text, I think you should try very hard to lower expectations and detach from the outcome. Focus on your other options.

I mean perhaps after leaving her alone for a bit, her hamster wheels will start spinning but I don't know, sounds like this may possibly be a "one and done" for her.

She knows by your words/actions you are highly interested and not sure if it was 'too much too soon' or what but I don't think she feels same.

My $.02 and I hope I'm wrong. If she responds to your text soon in a positive way, I'm open to changing my opinion.