Low-vibration state women

[Barrister]

Are these women ever worth investing an extended amount of time in and has anyone developed some way to recognize them early in the dating process? This is something that I have struggled with in the (recent) past - usually giving a pretty face a pass and getting myself into a bunch of drama. Obviously some of that comes down to setting better boundaries than I have but some of the drama seems almost unavoidable in my experience.

I feel like generally they tend to be HB 7.5+ and have many male orbiters. Usually seems to be a correlation between the fact they have been pampered their whole lives due to their looks and now maintaining the way they look and the constant male validation they receive is almost their sole focus.

I’ve also noticed they tend to have zero real hobbies outside of socializing out in public - many times with their male orbiters. The problem is I feel like I’m describing the vast majority of women (at least good looking ones) - which is a depressing thought.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Find a career oriented women. They don't have time for such things if they are truly into their careers.

 

[Georgepithyou]

I’ve also noticed they tend to have zero real hobbies outside of socializing out in public - many times with their male orbiters. The problem is I feel like I’m describing the vast majority of women (at least good looking ones) - which is a depressing thought

It's very rare for both men and women these days to have any real hobbies.

 

[Barrister]

Find a career oriented women. They don't have time for such things if they are truly into their careers.

Actually, the LTR I just got out of the woman was a "career oriented" woman -- an attorney like me. It didn't stop her from having an extensive network of orbiters and being a generally very negative and draining person. I naively thought that the orbiters would fade into the background as the relationship kept going (in fact it got worse as the relationship went on and the newness of our relationship wore off); and the negativity over everything in her life didn't surface until months into the relationship.

Anecdotal I realize, but just to your point that even if they are career oriented they can be low vibration state.

 

[Barrister]

It's very rare for both men and women these days to have any real hobbies.

You are absolutely right of course. We all need to be better about making time for just ourselves outside of work and life in general and doing something we enjoy for our own enjoyment.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Actually, the LTR I just got out of the woman was a "career oriented" woman -- an attorney like me. It didn't stop her from having an extensive network of orbiters and being a generally very negative and draining person. I naively thought that the orbiters would fade into the background as the relationship kept going (in fact it got worse as the relationship went on and the newness of our relationship wore off); and the negativity over everything in her life didn't surface until months into the relationship.

Anecdotal I realize, but just to your point that even if they are career oriented they can be low vibration state.

Interesting. I am currently dating a very career oriented woman and it's the exact opposite. Basically with her it's kids, work, gym, family, and me. Always busy but always makes time for us. Have not dealt with any nonsense in the almost 5 months we have been dating.

 

[Barrister]

Interesting. I am currently dating a very career oriented woman and it's the exact opposite. Basically with her it's kids, work, gym, family, and me. Always busy but always makes time for us. Have not dealt with any nonsense in the almost 5 months we have been dating.

Great to hear. I think a big difference is the fact the woman you are seeing has kids -- the one I was seeing did not. I think that definitely makes a major difference as far as focus. You may also have set better boundaries than I did at the start of the relationship.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

I find it very easy to identify them and filter them out early-on. On the first date, I ask a lot of questions, but rather than ask a super broad range of questions and be satisfied with her immediate answer before then asking her something completely different, I dig deep into her answers. Like this:

If you had to pick just one memory in the last five years - your fondest one - the memory that makes you smile the most when you think about it, what would it be?

I'd have to say when I stepped off the plane in Spain.

Really? What was so great about stepping off an airplane at an airport?

Well I had been planning this trip for so long and it wasn't until that specific moment that I fully realized the time had come and I was actually there!

Ah, I see that makes sense. So why Spain and what did you do while you were there?

Well I grew up with older brothers who were really into Spaghetti Westerns, and those were filmed mostly in Span. I was fascinated by the similarities and the beauty of the landscape in the arid parts of Spain and the "old West" of the US. I wanted to see some of that in person because it would take me back to my younger years when I spent so much time with my brothers and have so many fond memories.

etc

Basically I am just looking for passion. It could be passion about a hobby, passion about a trip, passion about something. Something that gets her really excited. If she has no hobbies, no passions, and is sitting there like "entertain me", I know she's a dud. I do somewhat enjoy fvcking with women like that though..... the ones who just sit back and try to let you do all the work. I will apply increasing amounts of pressure to them as the date goes on. I do this by not accepting any initial answer they give me at the start of a specific topic, or any answer at any point that I don't think is interesting. How I convey this is by allowing a fair amount of silence after her answer, and I'm 100% comfortable with that silence. And often I will ask, "Why?" in response to her short or lame answer, but I will say it in a sort of judgmental way. I do the latter thing extremely sparingly, if at all, with women who are interesting and are making an effort. But for boring women who are just leaning back and looking to be entertained, I'll lay it on thick. The thought I'm projecting onto them is, "What do you have for me? So far you aren't impressing me so step it up or I'm out."

Another way to avoid women like this is to join hobbies that tend to have highly motivated people in them, and are very co-ed. Running or cycling are great examples.

 

[RickTheToad]

Are these women ever worth investing an extended amount of time in and has anyone developed some way to recognize them early in the dating process? This is something that I have struggled with in the (recent) past - usually giving a pretty face a pass and getting myself into a bunch of drama. Obviously some of that comes down to setting better boundaries than I have but some of the drama seems almost unavoidable in my experience.

I feel like generally they tend to be HB 7.5+ and have many male orbiters. Usually seems to be a correlation between the fact they have been pampered their whole lives due to their looks and now maintaining the way they look and the constant male validation they receive is almost their sole focus.

I’ve also noticed they tend to have zero real hobbies outside of socializing out in public - many times with their male orbiters. The problem is I feel like I’m describing the vast majority of women (at least good looking ones) - which is a depressing thought.

Depends on your goals with her. Never let good p ussy go to waste. However, nowadays, many of these females are psycho, so be careful.

 

[Barrister]

I find it very easy to identify them and filter them out early-on. On the first date, I ask a lot of questions, but rather than ask a super broad range of questions and be satisfied with her immediate answer before then asking her something completely different, I dig deep into her answers. Like this:

If you had to pick just one memory in the last five years - your fondest one - the memory that makes you smile the most when you think about it, what would it be?

I'd have to say when I stepped off the plane in Spain.

Really? What was so great about stepping off an airplane at an airport?

Well I had been planning this trip for so long and it wasn't until that specific moment that I fully realized the time had come and I was actually there!

Ah, I see that makes sense. So why Spain and what did you do while you were there?

Well I grew up with older brothers who were really into Spaghetti Westerns, and those were filmed mostly in Span. I was fascinated by the similarities and the beauty of the landscape in the arid parts of Spain and the "old West" of the US. I wanted to see some of that in person because it would take me back to my younger years when I spent so much time with my brothers and have so many fond memories.

etc

Basically I am just looking for passion. It could be passion about a hobby, passion about a trip, passion about something. Something that gets her really excited. If she has no hobbies, no passions, and is sitting there like "entertain me", I know she's a dud. I do somewhat enjoy fvcking with women like that though..... the ones who just sit back and try to let you do all the work. I will apply increasing amounts of pressure to them as the date goes on. I do this by not accepting any initial answer they give me at the start of a specific topic, or any answer at any point that I don't think is interesting. How I convey this is by allowing a fair amount of silence after her answer, and I'm 100% comfortable with that silence. And often I will ask, "Why?" in response to her short or lame answer, but I will say it in a sort of judgmental way. I do the latter thing extremely sparingly, if at all, with women who are interesting and are making an effort. But for boring women who are just leaning back and looking to be entertained, I'll lay it on thick. The thought I'm projecting onto them is, "What do you have for me? So far you aren't impressing me so step it up or I'm out."

Another way to avoid women like this is to join hobbies that tend to have highly motivated people in them, and are very co-ed. Running or cycling are great examples.

I like the idea of joining something to meet higher-quality women. Problem is with Covid right now that this is exceedingly difficult, although a running club may still work.

 

[Machine10033]

My best LTR’s have been with athletes... they have a purpose and drive... they get their attention and validation from the sports they played and not orbiters or one night stands. I ended all those relationships looking for more “ exciting” girls and ended up realizing most of them are garbage !

 

[bat soup]

Are these women ever worth investing an extended amount of time in and has anyone developed some way to recognize them early in the dating process? This is something that I have struggled with in the (recent) past - usually giving a pretty face a pass and getting myself into a bunch of drama. Obviously some of that comes down to setting better boundaries than I have but some of the drama seems almost unavoidable in my experience.

I feel like generally they tend to be HB 7.5+ and have many male orbiters. Usually seems to be a correlation between the fact they have been pampered their whole lives due to their looks and now maintaining the way they look and the constant male validation they receive is almost their sole focus.

I’ve also noticed they tend to have zero real hobbies outside of socializing out in public - many times with their male orbiters. The problem is I feel like I’m describing the vast majority of women (at least good looking ones) - which is a depressing thought.

Women that are addicted to attention are almost like drug addicts. In the end it totally consumes them.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

My best LTR’s have been with athletes... they have a purpose and drive... they get their attention and validation from the sports they played and not orbiters or one night stands. I ended all those relationships looking for more “ exciting” girls and ended up realizing most of them are garbage !

Don't speak on ALL atheletes. There are attention wh0re atheletes too.

 

[Barrister]

Women that are addicted to attention are almost like drug addicts. In the end it totally consumes them.

Definitely what it seemed like in my last LTR. Attention I gave on my own was never enough and she always needed more from other sources.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Don't speak on ALL atheletes. There are attention wh0re atheletes too.

I've found this to be true but mostly on the ones who are really good and place highly in competitions/races. What drives most of them to do what is needed to get to that level is the need for attention/validation. I've dated a handful of runners who were really fast and would often even take 1st place overall - even above the men. They were not humble women. Hot though. But having said that, generally speaking, if you aren't dating an elite, most women who are into some sort of sport are a MUCH better than average bet.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I've found this to be true but mostly on the ones who are really good and place highly in competitions/races. What drives most of them to do what is needed to get to that level is the need for attention/validation. I've dated a handful of runners who were really fast and would often even take 1st place overall - even above the men. They were not humble women. Hot though. But having said that, generally speaking, if you aren't dating an elite, most women who are into some sort of sport are a MUCH better than average bet.

True on elite vs not

 

[mrgoodstuff]

True on elite vs not

"Not humble " is a b1tch to deal with. Definitely a trade off ".

 

[Glassguy]

It's very rare for both men and women these days to have any real hobbies.

I would both agree and disagree.

A lot of men fall into the LTR or marriage trap of giving up doing what makes them happy through their passionate hobbies. There are also a large number of men that do those hobbies regardless if they are in a marriage, LTR or single. I fall into that category, and trust me when I say that I have date women that were definite LTR prospects that left because of my strong frame in relation to doing what I like to do first and foremost.

Golfing, boating, fishing trips, bow hunting.......I will not stop doing that. Idc if the hottest actress in the world wanted to date me but told me I couldnt do those things, she can go pound sand.

Its funny that when you are truly a busy guy, and you explain to women that you are dating that you are busy with those things, they think they can change it when the time comes. Then they get all bent out of shape when the find out they cant. Conform or go down the road is the best ideology.

I dated a chick a couple of years ago.......8 month ltr......I told her when the end of October comes around, dont expect to see me much from then until the middle of November because I would be at my hunting property in a tree bow hunting. Its a passion of mine. Outside of late Friday and Saturday night get togethers, she saw that I wasnt playing. "So you're hunting AGAIN tomorrow evening????". Yep. And the evening after that. And the next one. If I kill a target buck before then, I will be free. Needless to say, she didnt last.

I have gotten the same response from women about golfing. "You are playing again tomorrow morning? You just played this morning!". Yep tomorrow is Sunday. I play every Saturday and Sunday morning. And Thursday evening. Dont like it? Bounce.

The point is that most men dont give up those hobbies by good decision making. They give them up because they think its the "right thing to do to make the relationship work" and they have a weak frame. Most of the time those men are left with failing relationships and also losing the hobbies they once had and the social group of great friends they had from those hobbies.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

Depends on your goals with her. Never let good p ussy go to waste. However, nowadays, many of these females are psycho, so be careful.

Starting to realize this more and more man. Coming off of a 7 year dating hiatus (engaged, married, now going through divorce) and out of the 8 first dates I have went on so far a common theme certainly seems to persist.... women seem a lot more insecure and psychotic these days. These 8 aforementioned women certainly aren't all psychos, but it is a sliding scale. I am a healthcare professional and in a previous post here I mentioned one of the largest things I have noticed in recent years is that SO many women are on anti anxiety/anti depression meds. Could be correlated to social media or society as a whole?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Its funny that when you are truly a busy guy, and you explain to women that you are dating that you are busy with those things, they think they can change it when the time comes. Then they get all bent out of shape when the find out they cant. Conform or go down the road is the best ideology.

So very true, and the ironic part is that if you give her what you want (focus more on her at the expense of your life's passions), she will lose interest in you and the relationship will go down hill. This is something I too have had a really tough time dealing with. I've always had too many hobbies and keep adding more every day. I do still have plenty of time to spend with women but they are biologically programmed to want more no matter what - like a drug, until they finally OD. The trick is finding a women who conforms to you on this, and remains happy. Those women often have their OWN hobbies and interests and social lives which can keep them busy and entertained when you aren't around..... yet I have found women like that are the least likely to conform because they have even more options due to their high-value status than other women, so they tend to be the ones who will just jump ship at the slightest thing they don't like. It is quite a catch-22.