My gf just left again for the start of her college semester, and when we talk on the phone i just have no confidence. I get worried about what she's doing and about other guys. I just wanted to get some tips on how to boost my confidence because I believe my lack of it might start to create some problems.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
low confidence
- Thread starter danro
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Start cheating before she does. Long distance relationships have no chance. Sorry, man. When I was college age, I would have argued the point, that mine was different. But it's not. You have low confidence for a reason; this is a very sh!tty arrangement for you.
mastacheef
Don Juan
a buddy of mine even took his gf to college, didn't last, college is the start of a new life (in most eyes) you get to start fresh and not linger around the past, i'd have to agree with these guys, get rid of her man its the only way
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
DrD77 said:
ok, then tell her you want to see other people and be honest about it. The words you use are not as important as fvcking other girls.
Nikos75
Don Juan
This could help
I would recommend that you stop calling her often and start going out to meet new people ( not meaning only new girls). Start doing new things, like studying a foreign language -and practice-, a martial art, or even playing music.
The bottom line is that if you are too busy having a life on your own you won't fret over what she does and with whom.
An interesting side effect will be that as you get more interests you are going to improve yourself and your social life. And when you meet your GF -possibly during Spring Break- you' ll be a better -more interesting- man.
Moreover, if she knows that you've got stuff to do and people -including girls-to meet she'll start wondering about her hold upon you AND lose some of her confidence AND start to feel jealousy herself. Dude, give her the opportunity to miss you and LET HER BE JEALOUS. It works wonders.
I would recommend that you stop calling her often and start going out to meet new people ( not meaning only new girls). Start doing new things, like studying a foreign language -and practice-, a martial art, or even playing music.
The bottom line is that if you are too busy having a life on your own you won't fret over what she does and with whom.
An interesting side effect will be that as you get more interests you are going to improve yourself and your social life. And when you meet your GF -possibly during Spring Break- you' ll be a better -more interesting- man.
Moreover, if she knows that you've got stuff to do and people -including girls-to meet she'll start wondering about her hold upon you AND lose some of her confidence AND start to feel jealousy herself. Dude, give her the opportunity to miss you and LET HER BE JEALOUS. It works wonders.
I love how every time I post and mention me and my gf are going to different colleges you guys instantly say she is gonna cheat so I should first. Do you all have abandonment issues? Thanks Nikos for the actual advice I asked for. And by the way guys me and my gf have been going to different colleges for about a year now and neither of us have cheated. And studies prove that Long-term relationships stand as much of a chance as a natural relationship. My girl isn't gonna cheat, she's not a dumb slut like all the girls you guys have dated (or maybe you guys just aren't satisfying them enough). And cheaters are pieces of ****. So thanks SoSuave for never actually encouraging me, except for a select few, and never helping.