Lost a potential plate for showing too little interest?

[Paarth Shah]

Im still working on my calibration so I could use the brotherhood' input.

I've had problems with texting too much and appearing needy, so since Im in the transition from Blue to Red pill, I decided to text considerably less and rely on in person dates for rapport building. Anyways, here is the scenario:

Tuesday - Match with plate on Bumble, clever banter and upgrade to text after a few app messages. Text a little bit, I was too busy this week and wouldnt be able to meet her. So I said, "I'll catch up with you later in the week and we can plan for something fun after Monday". To which she said, "Sure, Good night".

Friday - Text her to check in and she says, "Who's this?" I play around a bit with some witty comments and after she remembers me she says, "I dont like to spend time with men who don't communicate adequately on the phone".

So.. WTF? Where did I go wrong? I could care less about the plate, Im trying to understand my calibration dynamic. If I had scheduled a date for next Monday would it be okay to not text her for several days? Is this any different? How do you guys usually deal with communicating with a woman who you wont be able to see for atleast another 1.5 weeks?

 

[Smartone84]

There's nothing to figure out here. Nothing to dissect. And CERTAINLY nothing worth starting a thread over.
Welcome to the modern day world of many single Western women. Turn a toenail the wrong way and they've moved on. Space cadets.
Not that it would have mattered much bc this chick isn't someone you want to be with long term anyway, but when it comes to the game of online dating, you gotta strike quick IMO. When you're in that first texting conversation, after a few back and forth texts, you put the offer on the table for a first date, confirm it, then bow out. It's that simple. A woman's weakness is action like I just described, not several bs convos with a stranger she doesn't give two sh-ts about. No offense bc you didn't really do anything wrong, but this is just the world we now live in today, at least in half the scenario's.

 

[Paarth Shah]

There's nothing to figure out here. Nothing to dissect. And CERTAINLY nothing worth starting a thread over.
Welcome to the modern day world of many single Western women. Turn a toenail the wrong way and they've moved on. Space cadets.
Not that it would have mattered much bc this chick isn't someone you want to be with long term anyway, but when it comes to the game of online dating, you gotta strike quick IMO. When you're in that first texting conversation, after a few back and forth texts, you put the offer on the table for a first date, confirm it, then bow out. It's that simple. A woman's weakness is action like I just described, not several bs convos with a stranger she doesn't give two sh-ts about. No offense bc you didn't really do anything wrong, but this is just the world we now live in today, at least in half the scenario's.

So what if the first date cannot be within at least a week or so due to other commitments I have? Any strategies you prefer to keep the conversation going until it gets closer to set up the first date? I feel that setting up a meet > 1 week out seems to be a little long. I dont know though, anyone else with experience on this?

 

[marmel75]

There is not anything you can do with chicks like this. Likely you werent high enough on her list and she found others to take your place in the mean time.

In fact 90% of the issues guys have with women is because they are dealing with women who dont have them high enough on their list.

The goal is to find women who have you on the top of their list. This stuff doesnt happen with these women.

Again...you dont seem to get it. The date wasnt going to happen regardless with her. Doesnt matter how perfectly you played it. She WASN'T INTERESTED ENOUGH! It was just an easy excuse for her to use at the time.

 

[Smartone84]

So what if the first date cannot be within at least a week or so due to other commitments I have? Any strategies you prefer to keep the conversation going until it gets closer to set up the first date? I feel that setting up a meet > 1 week out seems to be a little long. I dont know though, anyone else with experience on this?

This isn't meant to be offensive but at 31 years old you may have some serious work to do. Just curious where are you from?

In any event, when it comes to online dating unless the girl has lower SMV than me and is gung-ho about meeting and I know I have her, I usually shoot for a date within the next few days. If you're busy EVERY night for the next week, I honestly would suggest not even texting her yet.

 

[skinnyguy]

She sounds dumb and not fun. You need to qualify chicks more.

Might be best to not use bumble anymore

 

[QuadDeuces]

OLD in 2018 with shallow narcissistic instagram validation seeking women is like finding a job.
You send the same CV and same Cover letter to 20 companies.
10 you don't hear back from.
5 send you a "we found someone better" email.
5 others take you on an interview.
And only 2 of them offer you the job.

Don't overthink just play the numbers.

 

[Spidah]

Every girl is a little different.

You have to have the attitude that any bytch who doesn't get with your program gets dropped. No heavy thinking needed.

You don't let a bytch tell you how often to communicate with her. You communicate when you feel like it. I've ignored bitches for weeks and still f*cked them.

 

[Paarth Shah]

Every girl is a little different.

You have to have the attitude that any bytch who doesn't get with your program gets dropped. No heavy thinking needed.

You don't let a bytch tell you how often to communicate with her. You communicate when you feel like it. I've ignored bitches for weeks and still f*cked them.

And Im assuming you never apologize for it either right? Damn, I been doing this wrong the whole time...

 

[Spidah]

And Im assuming you never apologize for it either right? Damn, I been doing this wrong the whole time...

I don't apologize for anything I'm not sorry for.

Alpha frame. Abundance. I can replace these bitches so there is no need to cower under them.

 

[ohrein]

I'm not someone who usually sits on the extreme end of ideas around here but I think for OLD you have to be ruthless with women. You should be nexting women for anything less than high interest, any red flags and definitely any disrespect. There are so many low quality women on OLD, you really need to be operating from a mindset of looking for a diamond in the rough. My stats for a year of casual Tinder use were like, swiping through a thousand women, a hundred matches, ten dates, one dateable woman.

I have several friends who found amazing women through OLD so it can be done, but you must be qualifying them! I think part of what you're doing wrong is still operating from a weak mindset, I'm going to qualify myself to them. No. They must prove they are worth your time. If you operate from that mindset you will filter out low quality women immediately and spark more intrigue in women with actual interest.

 

[R.U.G.]

In the future, here's what you do.

1) Message two or three times on the dating app
2) Suggest we should meet for some drinks. If she responds, positive sign.
3) If yes, what's her schedule look like and her number.
4) If you get her number, call, not text her and speak for about 20 mins or so.
5) If you speak, set a date there and text her the place that you'll meet. Go on Yelp and find the place somewhere in the middle between where you live and she does. Have it already to go prior to the call. It shows you know how to take control and action.
6) Silence til you meet the woman.

No chatter during the week unless she reaches out to you. After the date, if you feel it was successful, and she texts YOU FIRST that she had a good time, you can reply back and say you did as well. A few days later, call and chat for a bit, ask her out again. Silence til you meet unless she messages or calls you.

Rinse and repeat.

 

[R.U.G.]

I'm not someone who usually sits on the extreme end of ideas around here but I think for OLD you have to be ruthless with women. You should be nexting women for anything less than high interest, any red flags and definitely any disrespect. There are so many low quality women on OLD, you really need to be operating from a mindset of looking for a diamond in the rough. My stats for a year of casual Tinder use were like, swiping through a thousand women, a hundred matches, ten dates, one dateable woman.

I have several friends who found amazing women through OLD so it can be done, but you must be qualifying them! I think part of what you're doing wrong is still operating from a weak mindset, I'm going to qualify myself to them. No. They must prove they are worth your time. If you operate from that mindset you will filter out low quality women immediately and spark more intrigue in women with actual interest.

Ain't no diamonds in there anymore....

 

[R.U.G.]

In other words, she has to know that it is an honor and privilege for you to spend some time with her. Not the other way around. However, with Kim Kardashian and all the other hoes on Instagram, good luck with online dating.. You'd probably have better luck with going to the bar an hour before closing time and picking up a b!tch from there...

 

[lizardking82]

Stop trying to text less. When her interest is high or seems high, keep texting. Enough with this kinda sh1t "I build raport on person". Don't you understand you can have the raport built before even meeting her? In what world could we ever do this before? You don't do it cause you're not good at it.

This feels to me like older people saying "All this internet is destroying everything, the old days were better", well grandpa, they might have been better or worse, that is up for discussion, but this is the world we live in. I tell you what, last two weeks alone, I have had sex with a 33 year old hot woman and an 19 year old girl who came to my place the first time we ever met and am about to have sex in a couple of days with another hottie, 21 years old, and guess what? All from Instagram. Learn how to be a seducer with words, a gamer with words, and you'll have no probs with this.

 

[RangerMIke]

Text less make dates more.... more than one chick. If you are on a dating app you should be lining them up so much you don't have time to worry about one. Don't waste time worrying about chicks you haven't been on a date with.

 

[ohrein]

Ain't no diamonds in there anymore....

I know of several. Two I've known for over four years. Very, very few does not mean none. I don't deal in absolutes, there's no such thing.

 

[devilkingx2]

Im still working on my calibration so I could use the brotherhood' input.

I've had problems with texting too much and appearing needy, so since Im in the transition from Blue to Red pill, I decided to text considerably less and rely on in person dates for rapport building. Anyways, here is the scenario:

Tuesday - Match with plate on Bumble, clever banter and upgrade to text after a few app messages. Text a little bit, I was too busy this week and wouldnt be able to meet her. So I said, "I'll catch up with you later in the week and we can plan for something fun after Monday". To which she said, "Sure, Good night".

Friday - Text her to check in and she says, "Who's this?" I play around a bit with some witty comments and after she remembers me she says, "I dont like to spend time with men who don't communicate adequately on the phone".

So.. WTF? Where did I go wrong? I could care less about the plate, Im trying to understand my calibration dynamic. If I had scheduled a date for next Monday would it be okay to not text her for several days? Is this any different? How do you guys usually deal with communicating with a woman who you wont be able to see for atleast another 1.5 weeks?

you need to play every situation differently, you can't have the same approach for every girl, even though it's the hardest thing you'll ever do you'll need to learn to analyze and act appropriately

a girl who actually likes you likes it if you show interest, a girl who doesn't like you yet can be scared off or annoyed, if things are going well, that's not a good time to go ghost and play it aloof or anything like that. (how do you feel when a girl you like never texts back? you get annoyed and go find a girl who will text back)

also it's entirely possible that she had next to no interest and that was just her excuse (She forgot and deleted you in 3 days? wtf? that's ridiculous.)

 

[AJ84]

Im still working on my calibration so I could use the brotherhood' input.

I've had problems with texting too much and appearing needy, so since Im in the transition from Blue to Red pill, I decided to text considerably less and rely on in person dates for rapport building. Anyways, here is the scenario:

Tuesday - Match with plate on Bumble, clever banter and upgrade to text after a few app messages. Text a little bit, I was too busy this week and wouldnt be able to meet her. So I said, "I'll catch up with you later in the week and we can plan for something fun after Monday". To which she said, "Sure, Good night".

Friday - Text her to check in and she says, "Who's this?" I play around a bit with some witty comments and after she remembers me she says, "I dont like to spend time with men who don't communicate adequately on the phone".

So.. WTF? Where did I go wrong? I could care less about the plate, Im trying to understand my calibration dynamic. If I had scheduled a date for next Monday would it be okay to not text her for several days? Is this any different? How do you guys usually deal with communicating with a woman who you wont be able to see for atleast another 1.5 weeks?

Back up, did she ask you out and you said you are too busy to meet, or did you just text that?

If she asked you out and you said you were busy you should of texted a couple of times at least to keep the rapport going. By not doing that she of course would assume low interest from you.

If you just said you are busy before any talk of meeting up it can send the impression that you are weighing your options, which is fine and you should do that, but if you were interested you should of thrown her a couple of texts to keep rapport. I'm sure she knows you talk with girls, it's Bumble, but you didn't keep contact with her so I can see why she was put off.

I think just sending a couple of texts to all the girls you are chatting with is needed to keep things going. Doesn't have to be anything fancy just a funny comment or something.

Someome below mentioned replacing "b*tches" who don't get with program. Wrong attitude in this case, no one can read your mind as to what the 'program is' by a few text msgs. Besides, women who are seen as bit*hes won't want to get with the program anyway lol.

Just keep a few girls going with rapport and a few texts here and there and when you have time to meet you have a selection to choose from

 

[Paarth Shah]

Back up, did she ask you out and you said you are too busy to meet, or did you just text that?

If she asked you out and you said you were busy you should of texted a couple of times at least to keep the rapport going. By not doing that she of course would assume low interest from you.

If you just said you are busy before any talk of meeting up it can send the impression that you are weighing your options, which is fine and you should do that, but if you were interested you should of thrown her a couple of texts to keep rapport. I'm sure she knows you talk with girls, it's Bumble, but you didn't keep contact with her so I can see why she was put off.

I think just sending a couple of texts to all the girls you are chatting with is needed to keep things going. Doesn't have to be anything fancy just a funny comment or something.

Someome below mentioned replacing "b*tches" who don't get with program. Wrong attitude in this case, no one can read your mind as to what the 'program is' by a few text msgs. Besides, women who are seen as bit*hes won't want to get with the program anyway lol.

Just keep a few girls going with rapport and a few texts here and there and when you have time to meet you have a selection to choose from

She didn’t ask me out. I just didn’t have time to set up a meet for at least another week after matching with her so I said I was busy and would get back to her with a suggestion for time/date. Hence the text 3 days later..lol