I have known a friend since childhood.
He has been with the same woman for 20 years and today they are 46 years old, married and have children.
However, every 2-3 years the relationship enters a major crisis: the wife seems to question the relationship, distances herself emotionally and even wants to leave him. My friend, despite often receiving advice to end the relationship from us, and the internet too, does not; rather he distances himself and waits.
He says "it will pass, give it time".
In the meanwhile He could be offended, verbally abused, she can behave in a very rude way.
After 1-3 months, she changes her attitude and becomes very involved and affectionate again, like at the beginning of the relationship. Then they reconciles, become happy again and often establish a new important goal (cohabitation, children, marriage, etc.).
This pattern has repeated itself several times over the years. My friend claims that his wife has some difficulties, but he does not interpret these episodes as a lack of respect, because he still feels loved.
Since this couple have many things in their life, like 3 kids, a marriage, many friends, good job positions, we wonder if we coudl still take them as an example, and if the cycle is underpinned by the “honeymoon” phase that follows each crisis, and if this type of behavior is relatively normal in ltrs or could be considered a sign of a problematic or toxic dynamic.
What's your experience on this?
He has been with the same woman for 20 years and today they are 46 years old, married and have children.
However, every 2-3 years the relationship enters a major crisis: the wife seems to question the relationship, distances herself emotionally and even wants to leave him. My friend, despite often receiving advice to end the relationship from us, and the internet too, does not; rather he distances himself and waits.
He says "it will pass, give it time".
In the meanwhile He could be offended, verbally abused, she can behave in a very rude way.
After 1-3 months, she changes her attitude and becomes very involved and affectionate again, like at the beginning of the relationship. Then they reconciles, become happy again and often establish a new important goal (cohabitation, children, marriage, etc.).
This pattern has repeated itself several times over the years. My friend claims that his wife has some difficulties, but he does not interpret these episodes as a lack of respect, because he still feels loved.
Since this couple have many things in their life, like 3 kids, a marriage, many friends, good job positions, we wonder if we coudl still take them as an example, and if the cycle is underpinned by the “honeymoon” phase that follows each crisis, and if this type of behavior is relatively normal in ltrs or could be considered a sign of a problematic or toxic dynamic.
What's your experience on this?