"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Looks do count

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Nexus Polaris

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I had a really big, long, helpful response typed up, but then I went back and read some more of the OP's posts in this thread and I just deleted it. Because I realized that he's too firmly locked into his current reality for anything we say to be of any help to him. He has literally convinced himself that looks hold the key to his happiness and he is actively shooting down everything anyone says to the contrary without stopping to really consider it. But to his credit, he has taken the first step by coming here. Which is good.

OP, I wish you the best. I invite you to stay here and soak up all the knowledge of the community. There is a lot of great stuff here. But what I hope you will come to realize is that in order to get the results you want, a change must happen inside of you. You must be willing to let go of your current mindset and your current reality in order to become what you want to become.
 

NorwegianDJ

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Nexus Polaris said:
I had a really big, long, helpful response typed up, but then I went back and read some more of the OP's posts in this thread and I just deleted it. Because I realized that he's too firmly locked into his current reality for anything we say to be of any help to him. He has literally convinced himself that looks hold the key to his happiness and he is actively shooting down everything anyone says to the contrary without stopping to really consider it. But to his credit, he has taken the first step by coming here. Which is good.

OP, I wish you the best. I invite you to stay here and soak up all the knowledge of the community. There is a lot of great stuff here. But what I hope you will come to realize is that in order to get the results you want, a change must happen inside of you. You must be willing to let go of your current mindset and your current reality in order to become what you want to become.
Quoted for well-spoken truth and a good way to end this thread.
 
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Personally attacking now, huh. I thought you were above that. :nono: :nono: :nono: :moon: :moon: :moon: :up:

Just a Shot Away said:
Those are both fallacies (meaning what you said is not true.) The thread was doing just fine without this kind of crap clogging it up. Don't try to send the guy mixed signals with false self-limiting statements.
 

squirrels

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Dude you look fine. Hit the gym, beef up a little, and when you go out, take the time to dress nice. That and a touch of personality will get you laid.

Stop making excuses, there are a lot of people uglier than you.

Looks do count to some degree, but in your case, you're just trying to find a decent excuse.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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