"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Looking for help with congruence

T

thefenix

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I'm new to this forum, but I've read a bunch of articles, and it seems like a lot of people have lots of great experience and advice to offer.

I have a problem with congruence between how I think and how I conduct myself. I consider myself to be a mature man, and I "get it." I understand what is happening on every level when I talk to women and see others interacting. I give many of my friends advice for their relationships, and it tends to be right on.

However, when I am with women I just freeze up. I understand all of their cues and body language, but I just find myself at a loss. It's like I know how to act, but I always fall back into my old habits of interacting with women.

Does anyone have any advice for manning up when in the spotlight?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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T

thefenix

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There are some small things like smiling like a doofus, not projecting my voice well, and using weak eye contact.

And then there are bigger things like being weak with my views, being a bit of a pushover, and not taking control of planning and the situation in general. I turn into a complete cliche nice guy.
 
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thefenix

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There are some small things like smiling like a doofus, not projecting my voice well, and using weak eye contact.

And then there are bigger things like being weak with my views, being a bit of a pushover, and not taking control of planning and the situation in general. I turn into a complete cliche nice guy.
 
L

Last Man Standing

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To be honest with you kid - you are the only person who can change yourself - you know what is wrong - as you stated - I suggest you do the opposite of what you have been doing, considering that what you are doing is unsatisfactory - you know the answer, why not tell us!!

I'll tell you straight - start pursuing women romantically - and not for a jolly good time!!
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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