Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Looking for help with congruence

thefenix

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I'm new to this forum, but I've read a bunch of articles, and it seems like a lot of people have lots of great experience and advice to offer.

I have a problem with congruence between how I think and how I conduct myself. I consider myself to be a mature man, and I "get it." I understand what is happening on every level when I talk to women and see others interacting. I give many of my friends advice for their relationships, and it tends to be right on.

However, when I am with women I just freeze up. I understand all of their cues and body language, but I just find myself at a loss. It's like I know how to act, but I always fall back into my old habits of interacting with women.

Does anyone have any advice for manning up when in the spotlight?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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thefenix

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There are some small things like smiling like a doofus, not projecting my voice well, and using weak eye contact.

And then there are bigger things like being weak with my views, being a bit of a pushover, and not taking control of planning and the situation in general. I turn into a complete cliche nice guy.
 

thefenix

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There are some small things like smiling like a doofus, not projecting my voice well, and using weak eye contact.

And then there are bigger things like being weak with my views, being a bit of a pushover, and not taking control of planning and the situation in general. I turn into a complete cliche nice guy.
 
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To be honest with you kid - you are the only person who can change yourself - you know what is wrong - as you stated - I suggest you do the opposite of what you have been doing, considering that what you are doing is unsatisfactory - you know the answer, why not tell us!!

I'll tell you straight - start pursuing women romantically - and not for a jolly good time!!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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