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Long Distance Relationships

ubercat

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Interesting read. Facing this now. I'm the one creating the ldr. Had to move interstate for a good work opportunity. Girlfriend of nearly 4 years. I can afford to go down or have her come up once a month. Only good thing is with Christmas coming up will have a couple of weeks together relatively soon. I think my end will be ok it's a very big job it will be exhausted on weekends. Basically I think weekends will be a mixture of work sports and sleeping. See how she bears up.
 

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LARaiders85

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LDR's fail due to degradation of attraction. The lack of physical intimacy will weaken the emotional bond and cause the degradation of attraction. If the woman is even somewhat attractive, she will have her pick of local dating options which become more and more appealing as her attraction for her long-distance partner inversely falls further and further. Women are emotional beings, and if there is a weak emotional connection, her attraction will be weak as well.

As posted above, men who commit to LDR's subconsciously place their woman on a pedestal, which communicates lack of abundance and low SMV. This is obviously case-by-case, and doesn't really apply to close relationships which get temporarily split up by life events.

LDR's where both partners have relatively low SMV have the highest probability of long-term success.

If you have a strong, close relationship with her, and the distance is a temporary situation (less than 1 year) with a definite end date, then it's not a total no-go. Just understand that the distance WILL degrade the attraction and if she's attractive and gets male attention, you're setting yourself up for some hurt.
Nailed it, exactly my experience.
 

LARaiders85

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P.S. One thing I've learnt from my friends regarding LDR is 'Don't tell, don't ask' which means that there will definitely be cheating involved just to satisfy the physical needs for some time only but don't doubt and ask if she's been sleeping with someone and don't confess that you have been doing it as well. How true is this? Any experiences?
Eventually one person becomes more attached and then it becomes pure torture. I've been on both sides of that.
 

Suave88

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In my opinion, men should only be concern with romance, not relationship. It is true most of us don't approve LDR because they do not work and cite some issues like distance, lack of connection, no sex and so on. My only regret about the LDR is that
when I came back from overseas, I made the mistake of braking with my local girlfriend. This was a huge mistake because I later broke up with the girl overseas. But again, worry only about romance. Forget about wanting to marry her or any girl you have ever had. Concentrate in romance and sex. Nevertheless, if you see that it works, then go for it. My LDR did not work because of the distance, lack of connection, and no sex, but because of the testing going on between us.
 
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John9999

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It’s not a relationship. I just had a situation this month that I walked away from. Reason was that she had no plans to get back to Los Angeles at anytime in the future. And I was settling.
 
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Georgepithyou

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Been in one, she wasn't even in the same country. Spent months not on it.

Glad i learnt my lesson and moved on
 

Georgepithyou

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She will call you everyday at the start, then that will change to a few times a week .. then you will find yourself calling her all the time and she will be busy a lot not return your calls then you will find out she’s bangin a new dude

LDR’s seldom work..
Exactly what happened to me, though idk if she found a new bf but she did become distant after moving away to her home country.
 

Lynx nkaf

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Exactly what happened to me, though idk if she found a new bf but she did become distant after moving away to her home country.
good practice for you for someone local now, what do you think? ready to try local?
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Why is it a big 'NO'? Not a single member on this forum approves of it and I just wanted to know the reason.
Cause nobodywho gets baeeeees and crushes vagina does long distance. She's a plate, a side piece, and a throater.

Lmfao @ any guy who deems distance a relationship


 

NSX-R

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The only way for an LDR to work is if one of you move close to the other one . Other than that is waste of time . It’s only negatives. Find a woman in your area .
 
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Alvafe

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Why is it a big 'NO'? Not a single member on this forum approves of it and I just wanted to know the reason.
to add to everyone else

tell me why you would waste on a LTR without the sex?(cyber sex is not sex) pretty much you get the whole annoyance whithout a benefit, plus the whole will be easy to cheat, there is no reason, and no one with a sound mind would even think about it
 

Georgepithyou

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good practice for you for someone local now, what do you think? ready to try local?
Been dating a girl i met through a friend since december last year now, LDR can never satisfy a man.

There is no intamcy
 

Lynx nkaf

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Been dating a girl i met through a friend since december last year now, LDR can never satisfy a man.

There is no intamcy
I agree. Its like staged or fake intimacy when you are together.
Great and memorable experiences though. Good relationship skill building too.
 

buddhafukko

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Long distance FWBs are fine as long as you are getting plenty locally all the time. Keep a few long distance FWBs you meet during trips, etc so when you travel you have a network.

Having a long distance *love* affair is the dumbest thing a man can do. If you really "love" her (stupid is) then immediately move her local otherwise drop her. Better yet, don't ever get emotionally involved, far or near. If you analyze distance relationships you will find it is a safety device to insulate both parties from any real investment while creating an imaginary emotional investment. Also this type of relationship 100 benefits the female who receives full validation without any sacrifice.
 

mrgoodstuff

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LDR is cool as a "girlfriend" where you have several of them. Gives you things to do. But as a "the one" or trying to wife her, it's not a successful position for that.
 
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