So Friday my roommate in NY brings home some chick and not only is she still here Sunday but she smokes and he lets her when I'm asleep. There are 6 butts in the ashtray. Neither of us smokes. Is it just me or is that wrong on many fronts? Because she never left I haven't been able to talk to him yet. I think he's whipped.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Letting a smoker smoke in your house?
- Thread starter bigneil
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
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user43770
Guest
I would be pissed.
incognito42
Master Don Juan
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- May 15, 2005
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If they knew you didnt allow smoking inside and did it when you were sleeping cause you wouldn't know, I'd deff confront them and be pissed about it no matter who it was
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Sir Psycho Sexy
Senior Don Juan
Why did you have an ashtray in the house then? It gives the impression smoking is allowed indoors. Either way it's not a big deal. Just tell her no smoking in the house...most smokers will respect someones home.
I hate being around cig smoke and 3 of my 6 roommates smoke. They are pretty good about going on the porch.
I hate being around cig smoke and 3 of my 6 roommates smoke. They are pretty good about going on the porch.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
backseatjuan
Banned
Smoking home is wrong, doesn't matter if you have a roommate or not. You should tell her nicely to stop outside if she wants to smoke, and if she ignores you, or forgets, tell her to leave.
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BeDJ
Guest
Where did the ashtray come from?
By allowing someone to smoke indoors, you are showing lack of respect for your house and those you share it with.
By allowing someone to smoke indoors, you are showing lack of respect for your house and those you share it with.
Bokanovsky
Master Don Juan
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This. Why didn't you tell her to stop smoking?Burroughs said:
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I tell people to smoke at the window. Even though I hardly respect my own boundaries, everyone knows this about me and respects it. Make it clear in your mind that you won't have it. Then communicate it, that doesn't have to be forceful, just consistent. You can do it in a pleasant way.
You can just start off with "I'm sorry but eh... "
You can just start off with "I'm sorry but eh... "
backseatjuan
Banned
God damn guys, you are truly retarded in the USA! Congrads! Must be the fluoride in your water that making your IQ some 50 points less than it should be. Hey I read somewhere that in USA they had to lower average acceptable IQ or something. Geeezeeeee. What to do when someone smokes in your house, geeezeeee.
Retards!
Retards!