"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Letterman vs Palin

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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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piranha45

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the more offensive and foul-minded a joke is, the better.

Furthermore, it's always great fun to make celebrities whine and cry.
 

Deep Dish

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Considering Palin, I must say the jokes were fair game.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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ketostix

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I don't find Letterman's jokes funny because he is a liberal and what he's doing is nothing but thinly-vieled defamation of someone he's politically opposed to. Liberals' ideas like AA, feminism etc, don't have a leg to stand on so instead they throw childish insults at the oppostion to destroy their opponents rep. I have the most contempt for white male liberals.
 

DJKid

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ketostix said:
I don't find Letterman's jokes funny because he is a liberal and what he's doing is nothing but thinly-vieled defamation of someone he's politically opposed to. Liberals' ideas like AA, feminism etc, don't have a leg to stand on so instead they throw childish insults at the oppostion to destroy their opponents rep. I have the most contempt for white male liberals.
I knew it would only be a matter of time before a political stance was voiced. Personally I think they were just jokes without any ulterior motives. You certainly have the right to your opinion though.
 

ketostix

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DJKid said:
I knew it would only be a matter of time before a political stance was voiced. Personally I think they were just jokes without any ulterior motives. You certainly have the right to your opinion though.
Yeah right Letterman is well known to be a liberal. He could make jokes about a lot of people. Why do you think he's making offensive/defamatory jokes toward a well known conservative politician? Liberals have being doing this repeatedly with Palin.
 

Alle_Gory

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ketostix said:
Why do you think he's making offensive/defamatory jokes toward a well known conservative politician?
Because she's an idiot.

By well known, you must mean infamous.
 

Deep Dish

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ketostix said:
He could make jokes about a lot of people.
And he does.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Luthor Rex

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DJKid said:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ynews/20090611/en_ynews/ynews_en386


Do you think the jokes were ok or did he cross the line?
A link to the actual jokes would be great.

Thanks.

Edit: Ok found this out

"One awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game," Letterman said, "during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez."

But an even more disturbing fact, which Letterman may not have known, was that the daughter who accompanied Palin on her trip to New York was 14-year-old Willow — not 18-year-old Bristol, the unwed mother of Palin's first grandchild.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,525724,00.html
 

Levex

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ketostix said:
I don't find Letterman's jokes funny because he is a liberal and what he's doing is nothing but thinly-vieled defamation of someone he's politically opposed to. Liberals' ideas like AA, feminism etc, don't have a leg to stand on so instead they throw childish insults at the oppostion to destroy their opponents rep. I have the most contempt for white male liberals.
Sounds like Palin's VP campaign.

Get your head out of your ass, nobody was even talking about politics until your post.

And yes the jokes were funny.

:rolleyes:
 

Da Realist

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She's 18, so she's an adult and fair game. Plus why does Palin decide to get angry about this? Larry Flinn made a porno about her.
 
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user43770

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Da Realist said:
She's 18, so she's an adult and fair game. Plus why does Palin decide to get angry about this? Larry Flinn made a porno about her.
"One awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game," Letterman said, "during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez."

But an even more disturbing fact, which Letterman may not have known, was that the daughter who accompanied Palin on her trip to New York was 14-year-old Willow — not 18-year-old Bristol, the unwed mother of Palin's first grandchild.


That's pretty poor taste on Letterman's part. I only watch Conan anyway.
 

Desert Fox

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The real news here is that people still watch Letterman.

Conan FTW
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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penkitten

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its only an offensive joke to the parents of the 14 yr old who is out there having sex and getting abortions and they want to keep it a secret because they are not the type of people to vote yes for abortions.
 
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user43770

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penkitten said:
its only an offensive joke to the parents of the 14 yr old who is out there having sex and getting abortions and they want to keep it a secret because they are not the type of people to vote yes for abortions.

What are you talking about? Go tell any parent a joke about their 14 year old daughter getting knocked up by A-Rod and watch what happens...how are any of you gonna defend that sh1t? It's acceptable to make fun of a politician who has made a conscious decision to become a public figure, but it is down right crass to make fun of their teenage children.
 

Luthor Rex

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Cr1msonKing said:
AA? Alcoholics Anonymous, America Airlines?

I'm not a liberal, but how are those things related?


Whats the difference between white male liberals and Mexican and black male liberals?

And no its not a joke.
I think he meant Affirmative Action.
 

ketostix

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Deep Dish said:
And he does.
I'll respond to your reply since you're the only one that didn't try to play stupid. Name one patently offensive joke Letterman has made about a liberal politician. I remember a fairly prominant news anchor saying, "the Clintons were pimping out their daughter.." (Who is well over 18 btw) And no one thought it was funny and this guy lost his job. No one has been defamed like Palin has. You liberal leaning guys want to play stupid but it's obvious Letterman was trying to defame someone he is politically opposed to. No one makes sexual remarks about a politician childrenor anyone else's children, unless the target is a conservative apparently.
 

3countriesPlan

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Letterman is attacking palin because he hates republicans. Like someone said, switch around the people involved with limbaugh and any prominent liberal woman and you would have a firestorm. Liberals cannot see anything from an objective view because they are so full of hate and have a serious superiority complex which is built on some sort of shame they have about their racial identity.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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