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"Lets get to know each other before we date"

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Don Juan
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Hey guys, I've been talking to dozens of girls these last two weeks from tinder, okcupid, pof ect. and one thing that always pops up from girls is "Lets get to know each other before we date" Now from what I read all the time here is that you guys are very quick to set up dates and not text her until the date and so on but it doesn't make sense.

It seems like many girls online want to get to know you FIRST (incase you're a serial killer) before going on a date with you. This is why I believe text game is crucial in this day and age. You have to have real life game and text game in order to get what you want..

So how do you guys react when girls pull this on you?
 

Urbanyst

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This has never happened to me ever. I always here other guys talk about this, but I've never experienced it.

I can usually get girls on dates pretty fast. When they resist and try to show things down, I just become less attentive and that usually brings them back.

This kind of question is a frame test in my opinion. She might be testing to see if you are desperate. If a girl told me that I would ask her what she means. Dating is the process of getting to know another person. If she wants friends she should try to meet other women instead of men.
 

9Volt

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Hey guys, I've been talking to dozens of girls these last two weeks from tinder, okcupid, pof ect. and one thing that always pops up from girls is "Lets get to know each other before we date" Now from what I read all the time here is that you guys are very quick to set up dates and not text her until the date and so on but it doesn't make sense.

It seems like many girls online want to get to know you FIRST (incase you're a serial killer) before going on a date with you. This is why I believe text game is crucial in this day and age. You have to have real life game and text game in order to get what you want..

So how do you guys react when girls pull this on you?
Ask youself how intelligent a chick must be if she lives on a site where she suspects men to not only contact her but they might be potential serial killers.

If a chick told me let's get to know each other before we date I'd either respond: Whoa! Slow down there! Youre taking things too fast with this getting to know each other stuff.

Or: Let's not. Pretend we did. And I can be the bastard guy that dumped you.

Or: Do you always make it a habit to get to know potential serial killers before you date them?

Or: Just delete her response and keep it moving.
 

9Volt

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Just call her a square and then disqualify her for it.

"You're too much of a square for me. This will never work out."

The key is to reverse the frame and be the one who is validating her.

Have her qualify herself to you.

Did she actually pull something on you?.............Or can you actually re-frame her?
meh. If a chick gave me a line like let's get to know each other you could be a serial killer. the only thing I'm thinking is this chick is a clown as she's living on a site where she thinks everyone is a "potential serial killer" = she's not interested but interested in amusing herself in seeing a dude or dudes try to qualify themselves to her and nothing more.

As soon as a chick replies like that she's already "qualified" herself as an azzhat for me to make a quick joke of for my amusement and nothing more.
 
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user43770

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It's their way of pulling frame and hoping they don't get pumped and dumped. It's indicative to their past, that it is how I see it.
This. Chicks receive d1ck pics and "wanna fvck" messages constantly online. My female cousin used to show them to me as a joke.

Most chicks that use online dating are jaded. They very likely have been pumped and dumped from websites, as well.
 

9Volt

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Oh I know. It's over for me too. But I like the pleasure of disqualifying her for being weird. So that she doesn't go on through life thinking she is cool.

One of my favorite things to do is destroying delusional women's egos.
honestly If they arent interested they don't care if you try to destroy their ego as they'll just see you as an angry dude who couldn't get with them. I'd just make an idiotic reply to lol at and drop it or delete their reply and keep it moving.

When I used old I just treated it like it is. Pictures on a screen and number left. text my number, tell them to send me a pic of them, Sent one back (got tons of n00dz), text them I'm calling pick up the phone. called, and bs'd/ screened. Many many many damaged chicks on there. Heard it all directly from them. It's like they couldn't resist throwing out major red flags.

eventually got bored with it, left and never looked back.
 

9Volt

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This. Chicks receive d1ck pics and "wanna fvck" messages constantly online. My female cousin used to show them to me as a joke.

Most chicks that use online dating are jaded. They very likely have been pumped and dumped from websites, as well.
You know it was amazing. At the same time yeah it's great getting n00dz, multiple n00dz, but at the same time I'm thinking this chick has got to have zip going for her to be just knowing me and sending n00dz of herself. Id have to be out of my mind to be sending back n00dz etc of myself. Ive got a career. Is this chick nuts? Then thinking I know damn well these same pics I'm getting have been sent to multiple other dudes.

Majority of them lived like pigs. Bedrooms looked like a bomb went off in them. Didn't matter how good looking they were or how nice their bodies were. They were a hot mess. Then in conversation? Surprise Surprise you start hearing sh1t that's never going to be un-heard.
 
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user43770

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Many many many damaged chicks on there. Heard it all directly from them. It's like they couldn't resist throwing out major red flags.
They've been dropped so many times for said red flags that now they just want to find a guy who doesn't care.
 

9Volt

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If you think I am good at re-framing guys, you should see what I do to women. I have made women cry in real life. I have made women chase me only to never give them a second chance. In fact, I called a chick a square two weeks ago because she did the same thing in the OP's situation. She wanted to meet at a museum so that we could "get to know each other" but I wanted her to come over. So I disqualified her and called her a square. Till this day she is still begging to come over. Women are all about validation . If you take it away, you can watch them squirm. Of course, I am an expert at frame control so it's second nature to me.
meh. I've got no reason to make a chick cry. They just don't get to me like that.
 

9Volt

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They've been dropped so many times for said red flags that now they just want to find a guy who doesn't care.
I'm telling you there's a reason certain chicks need to resort to online dating virtual dive bars. And it damn sure isn't a good one.

profiles are fluff filler. I treated old like chicks treat it. look at pictures, send quick message, keep it moving. had several just first message off my pics or "profile" yet those were majority not attractive to me.

Shyt if I had the messages, texts, pages of n00dz, texts, and phone calls recorded dudes heads would explode. Friggin insane. You couldn't make the shyt up if you tried.
 

9Volt

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I think you are giving women too much credit. I would say 90% of chicks these days all have OLD accounts. For validation. It's the social media age. Every chick eventually realizes she can get an ego boost from having a message box of 10000 mails. Even some of my female friends who have never been on an OLD date brags about having 1000 desperate letters from guys.
I know many chicks who have never used old as they don't need it. Huge social circles, shyt going on in life and had nowhere remotely near the issues as every friggin chick that used old.

I know a few that did but they have major issues. major.

if some chick bragged to me about 1000s of desperate letters from guys I'd think the chick was a shyt head herself.
 
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user43770

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I


I bet the ones you think have never used old have tinder accounts and brag about how many matches they get. Tinder is ubiquitous and pervasive these days. It's not like back in the 2000's where you needed a eharmoney account to do OLD dating. I bet 90% of chicks use OLD one way or another. Either to look for guys or just to know they can get guys to boost their egos.
True. The hottest chicks you see on OLD are only there for validation or hypergamy.
 

9Volt

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Also, I have met and banged a lot of chicks on OLD in california. There was no difference between OLD issues and dive bar chick issues. They all had issues. They were all equally annoying.

I would say the high quality women are the ones who don't go out to bars/clubs at all. If you think bar/club girls have less issues than OLD chicks, then you're out of your mind man. All chicks are mostly the same, except for the 10% quality chicks that are hard to find.
I know dive bar chicks have issues which is why old is a virtual dive bars.

I know a lot of dudes who've used tinder etc. and they know the same chicks I do. live in the same area. if they saw them I'd hear about it. people talk. you know enough people you're going to hear it.
 

9Volt

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I think you're missing my point. My point is whether it's tinder or plain ol social media, 90% of chicks use the internet for validation one way or another.

Now maybe the chicks in your social cricle are the rare unicorns who have high self esteem. Who the fvck knows. But in my experience, 90% use the internet for validation.

The exceptions are the beautiful ones who already have soo much validation in real life, they never need feel the need to use it. In fact, they won't even add you on facebook unless you are good friends with them in real life. I know a few of these. They are like 1 in 500.
Social media? hell yes many use that. been linked with the majority when I had social media but never bothered with it much at all and deleted it. Nothing more than everyone looking for attention and wasting time.

dating sites? only saw a few messes I know on there. no one else. And never heard from any dudes oh I saw this and that one on there. majority of them had too many options irl, dating someone or worried about their careers or school.
 

9Volt

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Again, I think you are giving attention wh0res on social media too much credit. I've bang chicks that don't do OLD but have social media accounts. I've bang chicks from OLD. And I have banged chicks from dive bars. THEY ARE ALL THE SAME.
Some on social media are. Not all.
 

WanderingMan

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There's another thread about this that was recently put, some good insight there.

But, this situation just happened to me and it was while we were talking on the phone. Quick background: she just got out of a 5 year relationship (or something like that) and I met her through an acquaintance, so we're not two random people meeting. She had shown interest in me (and vice versa) and the middle (wo)man contacted me and gave me the girl's #.

Anyway, I texted her after a while and then we ended up talking. Convo was going well: relaxed, she was laughing, telling me about her self, qualifying herself to me :up:.... Then, it gets to the point where we're talking about meeting up, and..... she tells me she likes having friends and she thinks that we should meet up to be friends first and then take it from there.

So...up to that point, this is what had happened so far:
-she talked to mutual friend and conveyed interest in me
-during conversation she qualified herself to me
-IMO/IME everything was going just dandy and all of my intuition was telling me this chick was in to me

What did I do next?

Ignored it. Pretended she didn't even say it. I think I might have given her a "uh huh, yeah" then changed the subject: acted like never even said it. Then, later in the convo I said that I thought she'd be a great friend. Needless to say, she's been texting me ever since - nothing revealing about how she feels but I can guarantee (through experience) that she wants to be "more than friends".

Analyzing it, I think with her, she was saying it to take some of the pressure off. I believe this was just her way of keeping things light, and/or possibly some form ASD. Either way, I'm 99% sure that we'll meet up, and being a friend will be the last thing on her mind. :D
 

El Payaso

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What you say is "I agree. What better way to get to know each other than going out rather than texting through a screen."
 

BackInTheGame78

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Hey guys, I've been talking to dozens of girls these last two weeks from tinder, okcupid, pof ect. and one thing that always pops up from girls is "Lets get to know each other before we date" Now from what I read all the time here is that you guys are very quick to set up dates and not text her until the date and so on but it doesn't make sense.

It seems like many girls online want to get to know you FIRST (incase you're a serial killer) before going on a date with you. This is why I believe text game is crucial in this day and age. You have to have real life game and text game in order to get what you want..

So how do you guys react when girls pull this on you?
It happens to me occassionally. I have found texting can really help you ensure you actually meet up versus having a flake if you set the date and go ghost. Her interest level is obviously a factor but she has no real idea what her actual interest level is until she meets you in person. Which is why you should focus on getting her to meet
 

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Don Juan
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So what should I say? It's mixed responses here should I go along with it or tell her no
 
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