"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Leaving old friends behind...

BigOlePappy

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Ever since becoming a DJ
I have improved my social life and career DRAMATICALLY.
I am almost a completely different person.
At the college I go to I get 150X's the respect that I did before.

However, my friends at home refuse to see me as a different person. I want to tell them that I have changed and that If they can't respect that I don't want to be around them. Don't get me wrong, I love them still, and they are great people, but they treat me like I am a joke. It seems like the more I am just being myself around them the more they say I have an "air" to me. IMO I think if they were really good friends they respect my recent successes much more than they are.

What I am deciding on is that I should just simply quit being around them. Next them, like I would girls. I don't get along with other guys very well, and would probably have a hard time finding buddies to hang out with.

Thoughts?
Any advice?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Bat

Don Juan
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I am exactly in the same situation. Any piece of advice from the experts?
 

THE_ADDMAN

Master Don Juan
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yes, this is one of the more difficult parts of self-improvement... :(

sometimes you need to leave people behind if they're clinging to a past image if you. Its unfortunate, and you should definitely try to convince them to accept the new you, and maybe even improve themselves, but if people cant believe in you, then you dont need them in your life.
 

DJinTraining06

Master Don Juan
Joined
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BigOlePappy said:
Ever since becoming a DJ
I have improved my social life and career DRAMATICALLY.
I am almost a completely different person.
At the college I go to I get 150X's the respect that I did before.

However, my friends at home refuse to see me as a different person. I want to tell them that I have changed and that If they can't respect that I don't want to be around them. Don't get me wrong, I love them still, and they are great people, but they treat me like I am a joke. It seems like the more I am just being myself around them the more they say I have an "air" to me. IMO I think if they were really good friends they respect my recent successes much more than they are.

What I am deciding on is that I should just simply quit being around them. Next them, like I would girls. I don't get along with other guys very well, and would probably have a hard time finding buddies to hang out with.

Thoughts?
Any advice?
It's jealousy. I remember when i told my friend bout my new job, he seemed upset. i told my other firend who currently has a good job, and he was lik e"hey great job man". Difference was that the other friend has a sh*t job and he's jealous and upset about his own lack of success.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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DJinTraining06 said:
It's jealousy. I remember when i told my friend bout my new job, he seemed upset. i told my other firend who currently has a good job, and he was lik e"hey great job man". Difference was that the other friend has a sh*t job and he's jealous and upset about his own lack of success.
And this is why it's not a good idea to base your self worth by comparing yourself to others instead of comparing yourself to who you were previously, it causes either jealousy or self apathy. Comparing yourself to others is apples to oranges. Different people having different life experiences that helped create their persona. Besides, if you look for someone who has it better off than you, you'll always be able to find someone.
 
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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chancer

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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I've grown a lot and have a lot more friends, but every so often I'll kick it with the old friends. They noticed that I've changed and none of them seem jelous or anything. The bottom line is that I bring everyone around me up.

Just keep doing your thing
 

Ace_McGregor

Don Juan
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One of Robert Greene's "48 laws of power" is:

Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.
 

Rebound Material

Master Don Juan
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California
I know how this feels...in high school i dramatically moved up the social ladder and my old friends(who im totally cool with now), totally hated my guts.
 

ChemicalBurn

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I know (or at least i think i know) what you feel...
I was in the same situ when i was so much in self help stuff.

Now i think that all people are valuble and i would suggest you not to stop seeing your old friens.
Maybe try to spend consciously less time with them now and when you are together try to do tings that you all like.
You are (were) friends so i bet you had the same thinks you... Like playing football together...
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

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