"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Leaving old friends behind...

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BigOlePappy

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Ever since becoming a DJ
I have improved my social life and career DRAMATICALLY.
I am almost a completely different person.
At the college I go to I get 150X's the respect that I did before.

However, my friends at home refuse to see me as a different person. I want to tell them that I have changed and that If they can't respect that I don't want to be around them. Don't get me wrong, I love them still, and they are great people, but they treat me like I am a joke. It seems like the more I am just being myself around them the more they say I have an "air" to me. IMO I think if they were really good friends they respect my recent successes much more than they are.

What I am deciding on is that I should just simply quit being around them. Next them, like I would girls. I don't get along with other guys very well, and would probably have a hard time finding buddies to hang out with.

Thoughts?
Any advice?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Bat

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I am exactly in the same situation. Any piece of advice from the experts?
 
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THE_ADDMAN

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yes, this is one of the more difficult parts of self-improvement... :(

sometimes you need to leave people behind if they're clinging to a past image if you. Its unfortunate, and you should definitely try to convince them to accept the new you, and maybe even improve themselves, but if people cant believe in you, then you dont need them in your life.
 
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DJinTraining06

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BigOlePappy said:
Ever since becoming a DJ
I have improved my social life and career DRAMATICALLY.
I am almost a completely different person.
At the college I go to I get 150X's the respect that I did before.

However, my friends at home refuse to see me as a different person. I want to tell them that I have changed and that If they can't respect that I don't want to be around them. Don't get me wrong, I love them still, and they are great people, but they treat me like I am a joke. It seems like the more I am just being myself around them the more they say I have an "air" to me. IMO I think if they were really good friends they respect my recent successes much more than they are.

What I am deciding on is that I should just simply quit being around them. Next them, like I would girls. I don't get along with other guys very well, and would probably have a hard time finding buddies to hang out with.

Thoughts?
Any advice?
Click to expand...
It's jealousy. I remember when i told my friend bout my new job, he seemed upset. i told my other firend who currently has a good job, and he was lik e"hey great job man". Difference was that the other friend has a sh*t job and he's jealous and upset about his own lack of success.
 
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Francisco d'Anconia

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DJinTraining06 said:
It's jealousy. I remember when i told my friend bout my new job, he seemed upset. i told my other firend who currently has a good job, and he was lik e"hey great job man". Difference was that the other friend has a sh*t job and he's jealous and upset about his own lack of success.
Click to expand...
And this is why it's not a good idea to base your self worth by comparing yourself to others instead of comparing yourself to who you were previously, it causes either jealousy or self apathy. Comparing yourself to others is apples to oranges. Different people having different life experiences that helped create their persona. Besides, if you look for someone who has it better off than you, you'll always be able to find someone.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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chancer

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I've grown a lot and have a lot more friends, but every so often I'll kick it with the old friends. They noticed that I've changed and none of them seem jelous or anything. The bottom line is that I bring everyone around me up.

Just keep doing your thing
 
A

Ace_McGregor

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One of Robert Greene's "48 laws of power" is:

Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.
 
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Rebound Material

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I know how this feels...in high school i dramatically moved up the social ladder and my old friends(who im totally cool with now), totally hated my guts.
 
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ChemicalBurn

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I know (or at least i think i know) what you feel...
I was in the same situ when i was so much in self help stuff.

Now i think that all people are valuble and i would suggest you not to stop seeing your old friens.
Maybe try to spend consciously less time with them now and when you are together try to do tings that you all like.
You are (were) friends so i bet you had the same thinks you... Like playing football together...
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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