"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Leaving old friends behind...

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BigOlePappy

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Ever since becoming a DJ
I have improved my social life and career DRAMATICALLY.
I am almost a completely different person.
At the college I go to I get 150X's the respect that I did before.

However, my friends at home refuse to see me as a different person. I want to tell them that I have changed and that If they can't respect that I don't want to be around them. Don't get me wrong, I love them still, and they are great people, but they treat me like I am a joke. It seems like the more I am just being myself around them the more they say I have an "air" to me. IMO I think if they were really good friends they respect my recent successes much more than they are.

What I am deciding on is that I should just simply quit being around them. Next them, like I would girls. I don't get along with other guys very well, and would probably have a hard time finding buddies to hang out with.

Thoughts?
Any advice?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Bat

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I am exactly in the same situation. Any piece of advice from the experts?
 
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THE_ADDMAN

Master Don Juan
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yes, this is one of the more difficult parts of self-improvement... :(

sometimes you need to leave people behind if they're clinging to a past image if you. Its unfortunate, and you should definitely try to convince them to accept the new you, and maybe even improve themselves, but if people cant believe in you, then you dont need them in your life.
 
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DJinTraining06

Master Don Juan
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BigOlePappy said:
Ever since becoming a DJ
I have improved my social life and career DRAMATICALLY.
I am almost a completely different person.
At the college I go to I get 150X's the respect that I did before.

However, my friends at home refuse to see me as a different person. I want to tell them that I have changed and that If they can't respect that I don't want to be around them. Don't get me wrong, I love them still, and they are great people, but they treat me like I am a joke. It seems like the more I am just being myself around them the more they say I have an "air" to me. IMO I think if they were really good friends they respect my recent successes much more than they are.

What I am deciding on is that I should just simply quit being around them. Next them, like I would girls. I don't get along with other guys very well, and would probably have a hard time finding buddies to hang out with.

Thoughts?
Any advice?
Click to expand...
It's jealousy. I remember when i told my friend bout my new job, he seemed upset. i told my other firend who currently has a good job, and he was lik e"hey great job man". Difference was that the other friend has a sh*t job and he's jealous and upset about his own lack of success.
 
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Francisco d'Anconia

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DJinTraining06 said:
It's jealousy. I remember when i told my friend bout my new job, he seemed upset. i told my other firend who currently has a good job, and he was lik e"hey great job man". Difference was that the other friend has a sh*t job and he's jealous and upset about his own lack of success.
Click to expand...
And this is why it's not a good idea to base your self worth by comparing yourself to others instead of comparing yourself to who you were previously, it causes either jealousy or self apathy. Comparing yourself to others is apples to oranges. Different people having different life experiences that helped create their persona. Besides, if you look for someone who has it better off than you, you'll always be able to find someone.
 
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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chancer

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I've grown a lot and have a lot more friends, but every so often I'll kick it with the old friends. They noticed that I've changed and none of them seem jelous or anything. The bottom line is that I bring everyone around me up.

Just keep doing your thing
 
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Ace_McGregor

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One of Robert Greene's "48 laws of power" is:

Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.
 
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Rebound Material

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I know how this feels...in high school i dramatically moved up the social ladder and my old friends(who im totally cool with now), totally hated my guts.
 
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ChemicalBurn

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I know (or at least i think i know) what you feel...
I was in the same situ when i was so much in self help stuff.

Now i think that all people are valuble and i would suggest you not to stop seeing your old friens.
Maybe try to spend consciously less time with them now and when you are together try to do tings that you all like.
You are (were) friends so i bet you had the same thinks you... Like playing football together...
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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