Aaaah... don't get yourself confused between leadership and megalomania. Effective leadership is not about having to make decisions ALL the time in EVERYTHING you do. I'm sure even George W Bush defers to his wife on domestic matters...
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Leadership:
- Thread starter crossboss
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
PeterNorthisawesome
Banned
Experiance and info. You actually have to lead if you want to get good at it. Also reading books by famous/good leaders like Donald Trump, JFK, Bill Gates and George Washington. Avoid reading female stuff it isn't their nature to lead. Meaning don't vote for Hillary Clinton!crossboss said:I'd like to learn how to be a leader. Anyway how?
Surround youself with good people/advisors who will keep you in check.
Yeah balance is important. But I don't make all the decisions. I'm decisive, but that's doesn't mean I try to make every decision.Un-Aru said:Aaaah... don't get yourself confused between leadership and megalomania. Effective leadership is not about having to make decisions ALL the time in EVERYTHING you do. I'm sure even George W Bush defers to his wife on domestic matters...
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Are you saying that you don't realize that leadership is social?dot said:...I'm more interested in social leadership, not really business oriented leadership. I know it's similar, but I can't see how they relate. And by social I mean friends, not girls....
The only difference in a business environment is that there is a formal construct put in place to tell you who your leader is. Generally that formal construct has evolved out of what has been naturally occurring in the workplace. (ie everyone goes to "Joe" for advice anyway, let's make him the manager/foreman)Originally Posted by dot
...I'm more interested in social leadership, not really business oriented leadership. I know it's similar, but I can't see how they relate. And by social I mean friends, not girls....
Well we can surmise a few things about "Joe":
He is trusted
He knows his job and everyone elses too because of his experience
He relates well to people
It's the same in a social setting, the 3 key elements of leadership:
Trust
Status
Interpersonal skills
There's no need to elaborate on trust and interpersonal skills, they should be obvious. But status is determined by the interests of the group. For example, assuming the other 2 criteria are met, if the group was into fighting, the best/most experienced fighter would be the natural leader. If the group was into football, the best/most experienced football player would be the natural leader. If the group was into maths... you get the idea.
You want to be the "ultimate leader" - be good at everything and be knowledgeable in everything.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Oh I see what you mean. Yeah the status I think is what's the most important, or at least what I haven't been paying attention to. I paid attention to it, I just never understood it. Very good explanation. Although I know some groups, we all share some common interests. Different people are the most knowledgeable about different things, but there's still always leaders of the group.
Nah I just wasn't seeing how business leadership had anything to do with social leadership.Francisco d'Anconia said:Are you saying that you don't realize that leadership is social?
*bump*Here's what the Army teaches ROTC cadets:
www.fiu.edu/~armyrotc/adv_camp.htm
THE LEADERSHIP ASSESSMENT PROGRAM (LAP)
LAP is a performance based assessment used for leadership development and selection. It is based on an extensive job analysis of the leadership dimensions which are important for successful performance as a second lieutenant. The LAP provides a technology for the assessment of 16 leadership dimensions in campus or camp activity, planned or unplanned, structured or unstructured training activities. Thus, performance will be evaluated and potential can be developed in stressful and rapidly changing conditions using performance-based assessments.
a. The following sixteen (16) leadership dimensions (job critical behaviors) are used to gauge your current abilities and future potential:
1) Communications.
a) Oral Communication: The ability to express oneself effectively in individual or group situations; includes gestures and other nonverbal communication.
b) Written Communication: The skill required to express ideas clearly, in writing, using good grammatical form.
c) Oral Presentation: The ability to present ideas or tasks to an individual or group when given time for preparation; includes gestures and other nonverbal communication.
2) Personal Motivational behavior.
a) Initiative: The discipline that requires attempting to influence events to achieve goals beyond those called for; originating action; self-starting rather than passive acceptance.
3) Interpersonal behavior.
a) Sensitivity: Those actions that indicate a consideration for the feeling and needs of others.
b) Influence: The art of using appropriate interpersonal styles and methods in guiding subordinates, peers, superiors, or groups toward task accomplishment.
4) Administrative skills.
a) Planning and organizing: The ability to establish a course of action for self or others to accomplish a specific goal; planning proper assignments or personnel and appropriate allocation of resources.
b) Delegation: The ability to use subordinates effectively; the allocation of decision-making and other responsibilities to the appropriate subordinates.
c) Administrative Control: The ability to establish procedures for monitoring and regulating processes, tasks, or activities of subordinates and job activities and responsibilities; to monitor actively the results of delegated assignments or projects.
5) Decision making skills.
a) Problem Analysis: The skill required to identify a problem, secure information relevant to the problem, relate problem data from different sources, and determine possible causes of problems.
b) Judgment: The ability to develop alternative courses of action based on logical assumptions that reflect factual information.
c) Decisiveness: The readiness to make decisions renders judgments, take action or commit oneself.
6) Field skills.
a) Technical/Tactical Competence: The ability to use technical and tactical proficiency to accomplish tasks to specified standards; includes demonstrated understanding of technical information.
b) Physical Stamina: Demonstrated operational endurance under stressful situations.
c) Mission Accomplishment: Ability to complete assigned tasks according to specified standards and within time allotments.
d) Followership: Willingness to cooperate in the accomplishment of mission and exhibit high degree of teamwork and cohesion.