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Leadership:

dot

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Leader Skills

What does it take?

I need to get in touch more with my "leader" and "seller" skills. Cuz I wanna start making money off my talents and skills, and I feel like my lack of leader and selling skills is holding me back.

Thanks
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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One word.

Charisma.

That is the thing that helps you not only get along with people, but makes them more comfortable following your lead and believing in your convictions. Charisma can be used for either good or evil... ;)
 

dot

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^ Well this is also about selling skills so I wanted to make another one.

Francisco, I think it is partly charisma. For some reason I'm not always charismatic. It's not because of good days and bad days, because I could go from one place to another and be different levels of charismatic. So I think it's a confidence thing.

Already overanalyzing it like this doesn't help.

Lemme tell you things that I do: (that I see in the other thread)
- I share knowledge, I dont hide it away (if you're not the leader then it just feels like giving the knowledge to the leader to appease or please)
- make sacrifices to get things done (dont see how this would help)
- doing whatever you want, without people
- decision making (this does help i've noticed, but it doesnt mean long term leadership)
- lead yourself (yeah that helps, doesnt help in every group though)
Of course leading is about managing a team, but first you gotta get that team first. And it's not always about a team, cuz you can tell conversations always just naturally switch towards the leader. It doesn't matter if you're the one asking questions or not, you can always tell who the leader is.

I know I am a little leader, cuz with some people I'm the leader of the group. Also back in grade school I had my whole little click and I got them to mop people with me constantly.
 

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Francisco d'Anconia

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dot said:
^ Well this is also about selling skills so I wanted to make another one.

Francisco, I think it is partly charisma. For some reason I'm not always charismatic. It's not because of good days and bad days, because I could go from one place to another and be different levels of charismatic. So I think it's a confidence thing.
Confidence is good to have but I know several confident people who couldn't get a cat to follow them if they shoved tuna up their butt.
dot said:
...
- I share knowledge, I dont hide it away (if you're not the leader then it just feels like giving the knowledge to the leader to appease or please)
Not bad but who in their right mind wouldn't accept free knowledge?
dot said:
- make sacrifices to get things done (dont see how this would help)
Kinda like buying a girl a drink at a club in hopes that she'll talk to you...
dot said:
- doing whatever you want, without people
Ummm, how can you lead if there's no one else there?
dot said:
- decision making (this does help i've noticed, but it doesnt mean long term leadership)
It's just one trait that an established leader should have.
dot said:
- lead yourself (yeah that helps, doesnt help in every group though)
Think of it like a vision.
dot said:
Of course leading is about managing a team....
Leading and managing are two completely different things.
dot said:
It doesn't matter if you're the one asking questions or not, you can always tell who the leader is.
How so? Your answer may give insight into what's challenging you.
dot said:
I know I am a little leader, cuz with some people I'm the leader of the group. Also back in grade school I had my whole little click and I got them to mop people with me constantly.
So how did you go about accomplishing that?
 

dot

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Hockey Playa said:
read ''How to win friends, and influence people'' some good stuff
Does it deal with leading and selling?

~attrACTION~ said:
What are your talents and skills? (I'm referring to your original post)
web/graphic design, audio engineering (recording, mixing), DJing, making beats

Francisco d'Anconia said:
Confidence is good to have but I know several confident people who couldn't get a cat to follow them if they shoved tuna up their butt.

[...]

Leading and managing are two completely different things.
Yeah exactly. Everything you said there was exactly what I was trying to say. Those so called "leader traits" from the other thread don't help. That's what I was saying, I have already done those things and they never help be a leader.

Francisco d'Anconia said:
How so? Your answer may give insight into what's challenging you.
You know how on Sosuave, they say "ask questions, you're evaluating them to see how they fit into your life." Yeah that's the attitude you gotta have with girls, because girls do follow you, it never really works the other way around. But if you're talking about a group of people, leaders just form naturally.

What I'm saying is, on Sosuave they sometimes talk about being the person asking the questions versus the person answering the questions. And what I'm saying is that that has nothing to do with who is a leader. It doesn't matter if the leader is the one answering or asking questions, it just happens naturally.

Francisco d'Anconia said:
So how did you go about accomplishing that?
I really can't remember. It probably was just how it happened. You know how groups just form.
 

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Yes everyone's on point here in terms of the actual SKILLS you need. Charisma, confidence, communication, etc.. are all important attributes a person needs to be an effective leader. However, you can have all of these and still be a terrible leader. Why? Because you're missing the key ingredient that binds it all together...

One simple word: "TRUST"

Quite simply, leadership is not an individual attribute, but a group dynamic. Think of it this way, you don’t need anyone else to have those other attributes. You don’t need anyone else around to be charismatic, confident or have great communication skills. Try doing it in front of a mirror and you’ll see it’s entirely possible (but very, very sad) However to be an effective “leader”, you need to have someone to “lead.” And for them to follow you and KEEP following you, they have to TRUST you.

So how do you develop trust?

1. Know your sh*t. Quite simple, if those around you KNOW that you know your sh*t, they’ll have more confidence in you and follow your lead more readily.
2. Know your team. Take an interest in them, show them you know them by telling them something profound about them. This also shows that you are not only insightful and observant but care about them as people, again elevating their trust in you.
3. Ensure your actions match your words – probably THE most critical thing, be the man that gets things done. If you are the sort of person whose mouth writes cheques his body can’t cash then learn and live by the following phrase: “UNDER-PROMISE, OVER-DELIVER”
4. Ensure that your team knows YOU trust THEM. (and no DON’T tell them, SHOW them) No-one likes being led by a guy they know doesn’t trust them to do their job. And if you really don’t trust them (and there’s good cause) what the hell are they doing in your team/group anyway?
5. Shut your mouth unless you’ve got something important to say (like a first date). Good leaders don’t need to be affirmed by the sound of their own voice. It forces you to listen more, which people notice, which makes them trust you more. (again, like a first date)

Those of you that have been around a while will recognise all of these concepts as very important in seduction. Which is exactly what leadership is all about; “seducing” people into following you.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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dot said:
...What I'm saying is, on Sosuave they sometimes talk about being the person asking the questions versus the person answering the questions. And what I'm saying is that that has nothing to do with who is a leader. It doesn't matter if the leader is the one answering or asking questions, it just happens naturally.....
A-HAH!!! There's the complication!!! While a good leader seems to lead effortlessly, you're missing that it actually takes work, the work that you can not see.

Many of the most popular leaders in business ask tons of questions in order to understand the people they are leading to achieve a goal. This is how they differ from managers, leaders are more focused on the means (people and resources) to which the achieve solutions while managers are very outcome focused (making sure that the tasks and milestones are achieved [touching all of the bases]).

In understanding their resources (their team), leaders can discern the strengths of their team. They can determine the best plan to leverage their strengths to achieve a goal as opposed to pointing out their weaknesses and bringing them up to par. That is one of the key traits that makes people want to follow leaders.

Ask yourself, who would you rather follow, someone who interacts with you primarily by picking out your weaknesses or someone who tends to focus on your strengths? What would seem as the leader just being cordial and nice can possibly be his/her assessment of you and your qualities; it just isn't easily recognized.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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dot said:
...
I really can't remember. It probably was just how it happened. You know how groups just form.
It's a bit more than that. The opposite poles of two magnets attract for a reason.
 

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Francisco - where do you think that leading and managing differ?
A manager and a leader are different, but don't you think a succesful leader must also manage his people well? Likewise, a good manager must make his people feel like they can trust him to lead them.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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MrS said:
Francisco - where do you think that leading and managing differ?
A manager and a leader are different, but don't you think a succesful leader must also manage his people well? Likewise, a good manager must make his people feel like they can trust him to lead them.
Leadership is about people, management is about means. A good analogy is the role of a Project Manager. This person manages the project but in it's purest form s/he has no authority over any of the people tasked with completing the project.

Yes, the best leaders combine into a hybrid the X and Y management theories (X=people are inherently lazy and need to be told what to do constantly [micromanaged], Y=people are ambitious and self motivated [self directed management]) in order to use their resources (people) most effectively based on their individual talent.

This is where one learns that all people are not equal and they should not be treated that way. The problem arises when all are equal and the most mediocre of staff is treated the same as the most productive and vice versa. Is that fair?

Good leaders take the time to learn the unique nuances of their individual team members and leverage their best traits. S/He then couples that with a good plan to manage the completion of the goals the team is tasked with.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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BlackJackal said:
Read Sun Tzu: The Art of War.
Actually, read The Art of War for Managers, it's more on topic. Understand that it's more Theory X based though.
 

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ROTC "leadership" is pretty worthless bull****. I know, I'm in it.

I find that alot can be learned from memoirs and biographies. I'd highly recommend the memoirs of Jack Welch and Bill Clinton.
 

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How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie

Some think leadership is being able to take charge and command, but it comes down to people skills and treating everyone well to gain their respect.

Take it directly from one of the most powerful and influential leaders of all time, Dale Carnegie.

His book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" outlines a checklist like style of steps and explains them with many examples.

The book is also a very fast read and reasonably short. It's written in the 1930's and is a collection of insights from all the great leaders of his time. Though old, leadership doesn't change.

J
 

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Third.

Every DJ must read that book. His other stuff is also pretty good.
 

dot

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Thanks for the two book suggestions. I'll pick it up soon, and add it to the infinite list of books I'm reading now.

Un-Aru said:
One simple word: "TRUST"
People trust me. Not everyone, because they don't know me well enough or don't like me well enough, or don't care to know me well enough, but people close to me trust me. They won't tell me about who's dating who (maybe because they know I'm not interested in other people's business), but they'll tell me more important things. Anyway, I know people trust me. I agree that it helps, but in some cases, my friends who trust me are still leaders (when we talk, when we do things, etc).

I'm not a weak person (not that I know of), so it doesn't have anything to do with making decisions.

Francisco d'Anconia said:
A-HAH!!! There's the complication!!! While a good leader seems to lead effortlessly, you're missing that it actually takes work, the work that you can not see.
I'm saying it happens naturally and it's too hard to analyze it.

Francisco d'Anconia said:
Ask yourself, who would you rather follow, someone who interacts with you primarily by picking out your weaknesses or someone who tends to focus on your strengths? What would seem as the leader just being cordial and nice can possibly be his/her assessment of you and your qualities; it just isn't easily recognized.
Focusing on qualities is important. That's true. I'm not gonna talk to someone about music when they can't even keep a rhythm going.

I'm more interested in social leadership, not really business oriented leadership. I know it's similar, but I can't see how they relate. And by social I mean friends, not girls.

Francisco d'Anconia said:
It's a bit more than that. The opposite poles of two magnets attract for a reason.
Even after all this leadership talk, I can't think of what it was. Maybe it was confidence, but we all had confidence.
 
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