"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Leadership: predictability of a leader

anonymous12345

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I’ve reported to some leaders that are unpredictable, and some others that give a predictable, safe, trustworthy impression. One obviously wants to be the latter kind, but on the other hand in order to lead one needs to introduce new elements or take unpopular decisions — and that costs predictability.

I’ve realised I’ve become more unpredictable and see the toll in terms of how trustworthy/safe people find me.

How do you approach this?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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I'd say it depends on context.
Military?
Civil work?
Office?
Large or small number of subordinates?
I go with professionalism.
Pragmatism, without emotion or favouritism.
Quickest way to sabotage yourself, is by playing favourites.
If you're the supervisor, if a mistake is made, regardless of consequences, never toss your guys under the bus.
They'll never trust you again, nor will anyone else who is a witness.
Always give credit to someone who provides you with timely information.
If you take credit for a subordinate, no one will trust you, and they'll actively sabotage you at a later date.
Good luck.
 

anonymous12345

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After some thinking and exchanges, here's my own answer:

I think it's about trust. In order to do your job as a leader, that is to in effect be unpredictable, you need trust. If you're trusted you got clearance/buy-in for doing those moves that are demanding for the receivers.

So, how do you get trust? I think it is by demonstrating competence and all those related aspects, and doing that can initially involve turbulence and mistrust. But once one has demonstrated that one is worthy of trust, one gets it.

So, you have to "make your mark", do a value demonstration, before things become easier.
 

Vantagepoint34

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After some thinking and exchanges, here's my own answer:

I think it's about trust. In order to do your job as a leader, that is to in effect be unpredictable, you need trust. If you're trusted you got clearance/buy-in for doing those moves that are demanding for the receivers.

So, how do you get trust? I think it is by demonstrating competence and all those related aspects, and doing that can initially involve turbulence and mistrust. But once one has demonstrated that one is worthy of trust, one gets it.

So, you have to "make your mark", do a value demonstration, before things become easier.
You can't trust a leader. Check notes or past movies like death of stalin. Or let alone look up wikipedia of Leon Trotsky and see his brushes with the red Army. We're not out of the woods
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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