"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Laser Eye Surgery, Glasses and general 4 eye'd questions

Murk

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I have been using computers my whole life and noticed my vision going a bit blurry at 15 years old. At 32 I finally got glasses, which I've been wearing for just under 18 months.

I love being able to see, I can't believe I struggled through life squinting all those years. I'm about -1.25 or +1.50 I forgot if plus or minus but it could be 2 in my worse eye by now. Basically, I need to always wear glasses to see far but my vision isn't that bad, I can see perfectly up to about 2 meters away, after that it gets blurrier and blurrier.

The reason for this thread is, my right eye is getting worse (slowly, like my very slowly receding hairline, I'm left-handed I figure my right side is the weak side) and I want Laser eye surgery/ LASIK. I personally knew 2 people who had it, an old boss who said it was the best money she ever spent, a friend/ex-colleague who also swears by it had it earlier this year, and now, a childhood friend who is recovering from her surgery right now.

I look good with glasses and I've picked up girls wearing them, but without I look so much better. Also having to constantly clean them (I'm OCD with smudges), I've never worn contact lenses yet (maybe I should try them first?), and wearing glasses while out at night is annoying.

The LASIK process is fairly cheap these days compared to 20 years ago. Should I just get it done? I still use computers a lot for work and I'm still 2-4 years away from being completely hands-off and employing/outsourcing everything and just being a visible face/mentor around the office. So I need to be on the computer 12+ hours a day. Using a phone a lot doesn't help.

I have read up on optic exercises, training the eye to see better, and taking breaks from the computer (I never do this).

My questions;

- Should I first try using contacts for 6-12 months?
- Is LASIK safe/worth it? (From people who have had it)
- Has anyone improved eyesight with training methods (so many online you can google and youtube vids on this)
- With the constant strain I'll still have to put on my eyes should I forego LASIK until I'm looking at a screen 3-4 hours a day MAX (a few years away).

Interested to hear anyone's experience with eyesight in general too.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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9-3enthusiast

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I've worn glasses since mid 30s - I'm slightly longsighted, +1.25 in both eyes.
Since about 42, I started to also need reading glasses (I can't get on with bi or vari-focals) - Reading prescription was about +2 at first, then steadily deteriorated to +3.25 by about age 48, and has settled at that ever since - All along I've had +1.25 for everyday use, and that has never changed.

I'm a photographer (work), and an astronomer (hobbyist), so my eyes are very, VERY important to me.
No way would I ever let anyone loose on my eyes with a laser - It's usually safe and reliable these days, but problems (RARE) can still occasionally happen, and I ain't taking the risk, no matter how small.

As far as computer screens.... I use a large monitor, due to doing a lot of photo-editing, and I've found that my reading glasses are too strong, whereas my daily wearers aren't strong enough, so use a decent quality 'off-the-shelf' pair of +2 readers as a mid-point between closeup reading (books, phones, etc.) and longer distances.
Took a little experimentation to find the strength that worked just right for computer monitors.

As far as women are concerned, I've never found it to be a problem... It's always good to have a 'style' of some sort, and I just lean into the 'intellectual' image - It works well for me.
I was well educated, and regularly give presentations to rooms full of people, so I'm well practiced and can pull off that persona easily.
Well, I don't really have to 'pull-off' the persona..... it's just who I am.
 

BillyPilgrim

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OP don't you enjoy not being able to see?

Murk = darkness or thick mist that makes it difficult to see
 

BackInTheGame78

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LASIK is way more expensive these days than it used to be...at least in the US. I paid like $800-900 for both eyes about 20 years ago. Now it's like at least double that or more for one eye.

It's been amazing...best thing I ever did. No changes to my vision and have not needed any fixes or reading glasses yet.
 

f(x)

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An optometrist told me it’s good to wear reading glasses when reading text on an electronic screen. He said your brain and eyes have to work harder to focus, even though you might not notice it.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Murk

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@9-3enthusiast Yeah I've gone the sophisticated intellectual route but for the last 10 years I've always worn suits, blazers/pocket squares - initially for work but then I made it my everyday attire as I felt so good and looked sharp all the time. I have a smart look anyway which the glasses definitely help. When I take them off I think I look much better though.

LASIK is way more expensive these days than it used to be...at least in the US. I paid like $800-900 for both eyes about 20 years ago. Now it's like at least double that or more for one eye.

It's been amazing...best thing I ever did. No changes to my vision and have not needed any fixes or reading glasses yet.
In the UK its as cheap as £500 per eye.

I would go more expensive though as I'd feel safer paying more.

An optometrist told me it’s good to wear reading glasses when reading text on an electronic screen. He said your brain and eyes have to work harder to focus, even though you might not notice it.
I always wear glasses when looking at screens. I've found my eyes feel WORSE over the last 18 months of glasses use. I could manage before, now when I take them off I feel blind and notice straight away. I use to drive without glasses all the time now I'm scared to do it.
 

BackInTheGame78

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An optometrist told me it’s good to wear reading glasses when reading text on an electronic screen. He said your brain and eyes have to work harder to focus, even though you might not notice it.
I have special blue light filtering glasses I wear...eyes used to feel tired all the time from extra strain but they feel so much better when I wear them...helps reduce the strain.
 

threeforfree

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I did lasik in the early 2000s. I was nearsighted, but afterwards I had perfect vision. The thing is, your eyes will continue to deteriorate as you age. Several years ago they got the the point that something needed to be done again. I could get free touch ups for life for lasik, but if I did I’d need reading glasses for the computer. I’m a software engineer. I’d rather have the option to not wear glasses during my work day if I have to, then wear glasses for driving or whatever.

I ended up getting glasses. I’m getting them now from Zenni, I am wearing a pair of progressive lenses now that cost me less than $50 shipped. They are cheap enough that you can get several pairs depending on the look you want. I have several pairs of non-progressive sunglasses laying around too. My eyesight isn’t the best but I do also have contacts, or if I’m going into a smaller place I’ll just go without.
 

eli77

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Goggles.com have an awesome array of glasses for people I try to get lasik years ago before I even tried to join the military no go for me I take comfort in the fact that I can wear glasses and contacts and put them both off where their business people in the universe that don't have either
 

The Duke

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Was a contact lense wearer for years. when I was 40 My stigmatism got so bad I couldn't get a contact lense to work right anymore. Had Lasik to correct nearsightedness. Had amazing results.
They told me I would eventually have to wear reading glasses and I have realized that day is coming.

Only negative is my eyes get a little dry at times and it's harder to see when I first wake up. It didn't show up until about 3yrs after lasik. It's a side effect and comes with age as well.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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eli77

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Was a contact lense wearer for years. when I was 40 My stigmatism got so bad I couldn't get a contact lense to work right anymore. Had Lasik to correct nearsightedness. Had amazing results.
They told me I would eventually have to wear reading glasses and I have realized that day is coming.

Only negative is my eyes get a little dry at times and it's harder to see when I first wake up. It didn't show up until about 3yrs after lasik. It's a side effect and comes with age as well.
How much did it cost?
 

Murk

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Update

The frind I spoke about who paid 6k for her eyes has pretty much ruined them. The consultant has never seen such over correction in his life. Her vision is now blurry and she's wearing special contact lenses. They basically fvcked her up and waiting for the eyes to heal before doing corrective surgery. She is planning to sue, but I'm not sure how far she'll get with the waivers they make you sign beforehand.

I found out another friend's mum had issues with her LASIK causing blurred vision.
 
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