"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Lack of energy

frank05

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I can be very outgoing, energetic,loud,enthusiastic and social.
When I'm with closer friends I have this attitude naturally,and for longer periods of time.
The problem is that, when I am around people/girls I don't know very well I can only have this attitude for small periods of time. Afterwards I am very tired and I don't talk to anyone.
I feel like an actor that has just played his scene and wants to go home, as is I'm not very comfortable with it.
I'm not naturally a shy person and I don't feel comfortable being quiet.
Any tips/exercises to get into the right mood for longer?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ScrewIt

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has it occured that maybe after awhile with talking to that person, theyre not as interesting as you thought they were?

and then your interest to talk to them drops ...
 

frank05

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It could be.
Lately I have moved.
So I've lost most of my close friends . And I kind of have to get to know new people. I try to act as I acted naturally around my old friends, but I get tired soon because I think they are boring, or let's say less interesting than my old buddies (they were true DJs). I don't feel connected to any of them and I feel uncomfortable acting as if I'd like them, therefore my lack of energy. Perhaps it's that I don't know these people well enough, and to try to get to know them better I imagine being with my old friends, to get into the right mood, but most of the time I just can't fool my mind.
I'm worried about this situation because the only "cool" person that I have around me is my GF, so this situation could easily lead to one-itis.
 

DeathDealer

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Well you pretty much answered the question. I have a lot of these types of friends, I just hang out with them less than friends I have more in common with. It's normal.

"You don't have anything in common with that person and they're not offering anything new to work on"
 

thefonz

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I know what you mean, i'm alot wittier,funnier, and more outgoing among close friends but around people i don't know i'm not......here's something i've been doing recently to help but this is only for people with a somewhat decent imagination

Ever notice how when you walk around in public with a girl you tend to be more confident than when you walk around by yourself(or when your with anyone you like/respect for that matter).....I call this my imaginary friend technique.... just pretend that you have a hot ***** by your side and your walking around together, react to things and act as if she is right beside you wherever you are going....this might sound real stupid for some but it kinda helps me keep my cool imagining i'm with a hot chick going into a scenario ie. walking in the mall or somewhere (WARNING: Do not start talking to your imaginary friend, thats not how it works) Or maybe it's an old buddy you had a long time ago that you don't see anymore and you guys are hanging out, use your imagination
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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TillTheEndOfTime

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Originally posted by thefonz
I know what you mean, i'm alot wittier,funnier, and more outgoing among close friends but around people i don't know i'm not......here's something i've been doing recently to help but this is only for people with a somewhat decent imagination

Ever notice how when you walk around in public with a girl you tend to be more confident than when you walk around by yourself(or when your with anyone you like/respect for that matter).....I call this my imaginary friend technique.... just pretend that you have a hot ***** by your side and your walking around together, react to things and act as if she is right beside you wherever you are going....this might sound real stupid for some but it kinda helps me keep my cool imagining i'm with a hot chick going into a scenario ie. walking in the mall or somewhere (WARNING: Do not start talking to your imaginary friend, thats not how it works) Or maybe it's an old buddy you had a long time ago that you don't see anymore and you guys are hanging out, use your imagination
Or imagine you're walking around with an AK-47 :eek:
 

frank05

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Thanks thefonz! Your idea could be very helpful. I've also noticed that when I'm walking with a HB or with a close friend I'm much more confident and outgoing than when I'm alone. I will try this.

Besides, thinking of walking around with an AK-47 could also do the trick:D
 
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