"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Lack of energy

frank05

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I can be very outgoing, energetic,loud,enthusiastic and social.
When I'm with closer friends I have this attitude naturally,and for longer periods of time.
The problem is that, when I am around people/girls I don't know very well I can only have this attitude for small periods of time. Afterwards I am very tired and I don't talk to anyone.
I feel like an actor that has just played his scene and wants to go home, as is I'm not very comfortable with it.
I'm not naturally a shy person and I don't feel comfortable being quiet.
Any tips/exercises to get into the right mood for longer?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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ScrewIt

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has it occured that maybe after awhile with talking to that person, theyre not as interesting as you thought they were?

and then your interest to talk to them drops ...
 

frank05

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It could be.
Lately I have moved.
So I've lost most of my close friends . And I kind of have to get to know new people. I try to act as I acted naturally around my old friends, but I get tired soon because I think they are boring, or let's say less interesting than my old buddies (they were true DJs). I don't feel connected to any of them and I feel uncomfortable acting as if I'd like them, therefore my lack of energy. Perhaps it's that I don't know these people well enough, and to try to get to know them better I imagine being with my old friends, to get into the right mood, but most of the time I just can't fool my mind.
I'm worried about this situation because the only "cool" person that I have around me is my GF, so this situation could easily lead to one-itis.
 

DeathDealer

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Well you pretty much answered the question. I have a lot of these types of friends, I just hang out with them less than friends I have more in common with. It's normal.

"You don't have anything in common with that person and they're not offering anything new to work on"
 

thefonz

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I know what you mean, i'm alot wittier,funnier, and more outgoing among close friends but around people i don't know i'm not......here's something i've been doing recently to help but this is only for people with a somewhat decent imagination

Ever notice how when you walk around in public with a girl you tend to be more confident than when you walk around by yourself(or when your with anyone you like/respect for that matter).....I call this my imaginary friend technique.... just pretend that you have a hot ***** by your side and your walking around together, react to things and act as if she is right beside you wherever you are going....this might sound real stupid for some but it kinda helps me keep my cool imagining i'm with a hot chick going into a scenario ie. walking in the mall or somewhere (WARNING: Do not start talking to your imaginary friend, thats not how it works) Or maybe it's an old buddy you had a long time ago that you don't see anymore and you guys are hanging out, use your imagination
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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TillTheEndOfTime

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Originally posted by thefonz
I know what you mean, i'm alot wittier,funnier, and more outgoing among close friends but around people i don't know i'm not......here's something i've been doing recently to help but this is only for people with a somewhat decent imagination

Ever notice how when you walk around in public with a girl you tend to be more confident than when you walk around by yourself(or when your with anyone you like/respect for that matter).....I call this my imaginary friend technique.... just pretend that you have a hot ***** by your side and your walking around together, react to things and act as if she is right beside you wherever you are going....this might sound real stupid for some but it kinda helps me keep my cool imagining i'm with a hot chick going into a scenario ie. walking in the mall or somewhere (WARNING: Do not start talking to your imaginary friend, thats not how it works) Or maybe it's an old buddy you had a long time ago that you don't see anymore and you guys are hanging out, use your imagination
Or imagine you're walking around with an AK-47 :eek:
 

frank05

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Thanks thefonz! Your idea could be very helpful. I've also noticed that when I'm walking with a HB or with a close friend I'm much more confident and outgoing than when I'm alone. I will try this.

Besides, thinking of walking around with an AK-47 could also do the trick:D
 
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