"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Kill that desperation!
- Thread starter Pook
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
"Fact A: Guys who hit on girls appear desperate and needy.
THEREFORE, guys shouldn't 'hit on' girls. (Guys hit on girls because they are needy. Change your thinking and you cease to be needy, and you'll naturally stop hitting on girls.)"
"If I see a chickie at a bar or someplace checking me out I am supposed to go over there and "hit on her" right?"
"Definetely! Only if you want her though."
"If I don't she will see me as shy (which in their eyes I think= low self confidence) or not interested and that would be another opportunity lost!"
"Yep."
Also you say "Don't just stand there and ogle, of course. Just be fun. Go in and chat but purge the interest from your mind. Trust me, you'll be much more attractive when you do (Think back to the times when women came on to you. It was always when women were the last thing on your mind.)"... now if u go up to a girl who you are interested in... regardless of how much u want to make it seem like u aren tthat interested.. it will be come clearly obvious when u go for the number.
So many contradicting ideas here.......... explain?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Don Juan Borinqueno
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Another vote for Pook, Keep giving us the info player.
Don-Boricua
Spike_the_cowboy
Master Don Juan
Spike_the_cowboy
Master Don Juan
Bump. Bump. Bumpity bump bump.
Spike_the_cowboy
Master Don Juan
Bump!
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
RedZone122
Don Juan
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lithian
New Member
"Imagine if a woman did all of the above to you. Imagine if a woman was OBSESSED with you, always calling you, always available, and always spending her free time FOR YOU. Any interest you had for this woman would soon evaporate."
-- completely untrue, it happened to me twice, and i loved it, (it worked great as a relationship), just like most guys would love it, unless she is some fat ugly slut. I find it pretty anoying that someone just sais you would do this and that, as a strong point for convincing others about HIS TRUTH. This kinda thing works for submissive people, who just nod, '' yep, so true'' Well i dont. I can make up my own mind about these thinks, thank you.
If you guys keep up happily agreeing with posts like that, it shows that pretty cant make up your own mind about anything. Thats the trait fo submissive character: always following someone else who announces himself to be souce of wisdom. On the other hand you all seem to beleive submissive men are considered loosers by women. Think about that, everyone whos so cheerfully agreeing with every word of those posts. One nasty contradiction among many others on this board!! To be honest i basically think most of the stuff I read here is bull**** : ( ,but its an interesting read anyway.
RedZone122
Don Juan
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It'd be nice if posts from simply successful people offering their viewpoints occured more often (like Pook here- it's just a bonus that he writes extremely effectively). Not really to mete out advice, but offer their viewpoints which I believe Pook did; he only gave advice when it was asked of him (very good sensible advice I'd say). Man, I want to read more stuff like this thread...
But I guess it'd be better to start working on myself and my own life right ?h a r d a s s
Don Juan
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If you are looking at every last detail in this post you are looking way too in to this, this post's idea is simple, if you have any desperation when it comes to girls, YOU WILL NOT GET THE GIRL. Let it be natural, if you hit on a girl do not lower yourself by putting her on a pedestal and becoming desperate. I can vouch for either one, i dont hit on girls very often at all, im fun with them, but when im fun im not androgynous, im fun because i tease them and let them open up sexually, i do not come off as "i want u. i need you" i come off as "fun. confident. n O SO SEXY" i dont like the phrase "hit on" but the times i do go talk to girls that i dunno but am interested in, its all the same way, be fun, let them b sexual, tease them on every opportunity, n jus b ur natural self...
i just realized the guy who asked about the contridictions asked a year ago.. whoops.. oh well maybe sum1 else can use it..
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Jizamurai
Don Juan
I think it is safe to say that a lot of people DO believe these things work. It's the most popular thread ever posted for a reason. People didn't "submit", as you say, and follow his advice just for the hell of it. They read what he had to say (without knowing who the hell he was) and went out there and tested his theories. And most of them, like myself, found them to be true. Of course they're all generalizations, but there are certain things that affect women on a deeper level, things that go past what makes up individual characteristics. Also remember that that this site is primarily about attracting HOT women. I'd suggest you test out his theories a little more before making any conclusions.
You're trapped in your own little world.
legolas
Master Don Juan
As you can see I'm kind of new here... this post was one of the first ones I read here. Some pretty interesting points, it seems like I'm already naturally doing all those things mentioned in the original post, and I agree that they do get girls attention. BUT, I don't know what good it really did me.
The thing about playing cool, what ends up happening is girls become intimdated and even though they might like you they're afraid to show it at all, and even nervous when you approach them. This is especially true for shy girls, and is really really annoying.
A quote I found from another thread...
"Just as important as being cool, controlled and fun to be with, is striking when the situation warrants it and displaying an interest in her romantically. "
This is something I am very bad at. So what I end up with is a bunch of girls that are eager to hang around me and even flirt sometimes, but who are also afraid to get close. So I keep playing it cool, and they keep staying at a safe distance, and nothing ever happens.
So I guess something that is lacking in the original post is how to SHOW YOUR INTEREST while PLAYING IT COOL. How do you balance the two, what are some smooth ways of doing it, etc..
If any of you have some thoughts that would be really great.
Trigve
Jizamurai
Don Juan
to people like Trigve7:
Remember, be it a great one...... "THIS IS ONLY 'ONE' POST!!!"
Read On! There is a wealth of knowledge on this site if you look for it! Don't expect people to answer your afc questions on such a thread as this one. That's why the mods want you to read the Don Juan Bible before you even start posting. There are threads that cover many different topics so don't get flustered if you don't find what you're looking for yet. These types of questions are for the "Don Juan Discussion" forum anyway.
I just read this site for a year before I started posting and believe me, there is a LOT of helpful and insightful stuff once you sift thru a lot of the new crap.
Just keep applying what you've been learning and don't take what happens so seriously. Eventually, you'll start to notice things on your own...
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.