Hello Friend,
If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.
It will be the most efficient use of your time.
And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.
Thank you for visiting and have a great day!
Kill that desperation!
- Thread starter Pook
- Start date
Am i the only one who sees many contradicting ideas in this post? Pook can you please clarify a few things for me. First i noticed you say that guys who hit on girls appear desperate, then you said that guys who dont hit on the girl appear shy which emmits an aura of low self confidence. You then said that if the guy sees a girl who he wants to just hit on her and go for it. Then you said that the guy shouldnt hit on the girl and should just let her hit on him. Also i noticed a few things which contradict alot of other things in the bible. You said when first meeting the girl dont try to hit on her, just talk to her like she's a guy... this has been said to land you right in the friend zone. I know from experience because thats why i sought out this board in the first place because i had too many girls that i was friends with. Before finding this board i was the really confident guy who wouldnt hit on the females, but would meet them... create great conversation, show them i was a confident, funny, intelligent guy, but never come across as though im interested in them because i ddint want to appear needy. Then when i found this site i saw that my mistake was I was being too AFC and beating around the bush instead of being forward and making my move. A Don Juan goes for what he wants, yes?Can you explain some of these contradicting ideas? I can tell you right now that all of hwat you described... as in the whole not hitting on girls like every other guy does... make her think u are different than most, etc... i did all this and I ALWAYS ended up in the friend zone or got considered a nice guy. Having fun with the girl = Friend zone soon. When do you plan on making the move? And when you do, she will be able to detect your interest with her radar detector as you stated. I learned that going this route takes too long and is a waste of time.
"Fact A: Guys who hit on girls appear desperate and needy.
THEREFORE, guys shouldn't 'hit on' girls. (Guys hit on girls because they are needy. Change your thinking and you cease to be needy, and you'll naturally stop hitting on girls.)"
"If I see a chickie at a bar or someplace checking me out I am supposed to go over there and "hit on her" right?"
"Definetely! Only if you want her though."
"If I don't she will see me as shy (which in their eyes I think= low self confidence) or not interested and that would be another opportunity lost!"
"Yep."
Also you say "Don't just stand there and ogle, of course. Just be fun. Go in and chat but purge the interest from your mind. Trust me, you'll be much more attractive when you do (Think back to the times when women came on to you. It was always when women were the last thing on your mind.)"... now if u go up to a girl who you are interested in... regardless of how much u want to make it seem like u aren tthat interested.. it will be come clearly obvious when u go for the number.
So many contradicting ideas here.......... explain?
"Fact A: Guys who hit on girls appear desperate and needy.
THEREFORE, guys shouldn't 'hit on' girls. (Guys hit on girls because they are needy. Change your thinking and you cease to be needy, and you'll naturally stop hitting on girls.)"
"If I see a chickie at a bar or someplace checking me out I am supposed to go over there and "hit on her" right?"
"Definetely! Only if you want her though."
"If I don't she will see me as shy (which in their eyes I think= low self confidence) or not interested and that would be another opportunity lost!"
"Yep."
Also you say "Don't just stand there and ogle, of course. Just be fun. Go in and chat but purge the interest from your mind. Trust me, you'll be much more attractive when you do (Think back to the times when women came on to you. It was always when women were the last thing on your mind.)"... now if u go up to a girl who you are interested in... regardless of how much u want to make it seem like u aren tthat interested.. it will be come clearly obvious when u go for the number.
So many contradicting ideas here.......... explain?
Don Juan Borinqueno
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keep it going man.
Another vote for Pook, Keep giving us the info player.
Don-Boricua
Another vote for Pook, Keep giving us the info player.
Don-Boricua
Last edited:
Spike_the_cowboy
Master Don Juan
Bump~
Spike_the_cowboy
Master Don Juan
Bump again!
Bump. Bump. Bumpity bump bump.
Bump. Bump. Bumpity bump bump.
Spike_the_cowboy
Master Don Juan
Too soon for this post to go away.
Bump!
Bump!
RedZone122
Don Juan
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I'd like to know a bit about the contradicting ideas too...
lithian
New Member
Dunno if anyone really beleives these things work at all. Its full of wrong presumptions. You guys seem to forget that any crowd (of women) are made of individuals. Some women like much attention, some find it repelling. Here is this, it really made me laugh:
"Imagine if a woman did all of the above to you. Imagine if a woman was OBSESSED with you, always calling you, always available, and always spending her free time FOR YOU. Any interest you had for this woman would soon evaporate."
-- completely untrue, it happened to me twice, and i loved it, (it worked great as a relationship), just like most guys would love it, unless she is some fat ugly slut. I find it pretty anoying that someone just sais you would do this and that, as a strong point for convincing others about HIS TRUTH. This kinda thing works for submissive people, who just nod, '' yep, so true'' Well i dont. I can make up my own mind about these thinks, thank you.
If you guys keep up happily agreeing with posts like that, it shows that pretty cant make up your own mind about anything. Thats the trait fo submissive character: always following someone else who announces himself to be souce of wisdom. On the other hand you all seem to beleive submissive men are considered loosers by women. Think about that, everyone whos so cheerfully agreeing with every word of those posts. One nasty contradiction among many others on this board!! To be honest i basically think most of the stuff I read here is bull**** : ( ,but its an interesting read anyway.
"Imagine if a woman did all of the above to you. Imagine if a woman was OBSESSED with you, always calling you, always available, and always spending her free time FOR YOU. Any interest you had for this woman would soon evaporate."
-- completely untrue, it happened to me twice, and i loved it, (it worked great as a relationship), just like most guys would love it, unless she is some fat ugly slut. I find it pretty anoying that someone just sais you would do this and that, as a strong point for convincing others about HIS TRUTH. This kinda thing works for submissive people, who just nod, '' yep, so true'' Well i dont. I can make up my own mind about these thinks, thank you.
If you guys keep up happily agreeing with posts like that, it shows that pretty cant make up your own mind about anything. Thats the trait fo submissive character: always following someone else who announces himself to be souce of wisdom. On the other hand you all seem to beleive submissive men are considered loosers by women. Think about that, everyone whos so cheerfully agreeing with every word of those posts. One nasty contradiction among many others on this board!! To be honest i basically think most of the stuff I read here is bull**** : ( ,but its an interesting read anyway.
RedZone122
Don Juan
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leave?
It's amazing to see what one tip sparked. Powerful and for me anyway, very enlightening thread. Thank you for your time, effort, and figurative slap upside the head Pook. I for one walked away with something good from reading this thread.
It'd be nice if posts from simply successful people offering their viewpoints occured more often (like Pook here- it's just a bonus that he writes extremely effectively). Not really to mete out advice, but offer their viewpoints which I believe Pook did; he only gave advice when it was asked of him (very good sensible advice I'd say). Man, I want to read more stuff like this thread... But I guess it'd be better to start working on myself and my own life right ?
It'd be nice if posts from simply successful people offering their viewpoints occured more often (like Pook here- it's just a bonus that he writes extremely effectively). Not really to mete out advice, but offer their viewpoints which I believe Pook did; he only gave advice when it was asked of him (very good sensible advice I'd say). Man, I want to read more stuff like this thread...
But I guess it'd be better to start working on myself and my own life right ?h a r d a s s
Don Juan
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in reply to the contradictions...
If you are looking at every last detail in this post you are looking way too in to this, this post's idea is simple, if you have any desperation when it comes to girls, YOU WILL NOT GET THE GIRL. Let it be natural, if you hit on a girl do not lower yourself by putting her on a pedestal and becoming desperate. I can vouch for either one, i dont hit on girls very often at all, im fun with them, but when im fun im not androgynous, im fun because i tease them and let them open up sexually, i do not come off as "i want u. i need you" i come off as "fun. confident. n O SO SEXY" i dont like the phrase "hit on" but the times i do go talk to girls that i dunno but am interested in, its all the same way, be fun, let them b sexual, tease them on every opportunity, n jus b ur natural self...
i just realized the guy who asked about the contridictions asked a year ago.. whoops.. oh well maybe sum1 else can use it..
If you are looking at every last detail in this post you are looking way too in to this, this post's idea is simple, if you have any desperation when it comes to girls, YOU WILL NOT GET THE GIRL. Let it be natural, if you hit on a girl do not lower yourself by putting her on a pedestal and becoming desperate. I can vouch for either one, i dont hit on girls very often at all, im fun with them, but when im fun im not androgynous, im fun because i tease them and let them open up sexually, i do not come off as "i want u. i need you" i come off as "fun. confident. n O SO SEXY" i dont like the phrase "hit on" but the times i do go talk to girls that i dunno but am interested in, its all the same way, be fun, let them b sexual, tease them on every opportunity, n jus b ur natural self...
i just realized the guy who asked about the contridictions asked a year ago.. whoops.. oh well maybe sum1 else can use it..
Jizamurai
Don Juan
I think it is safe to say that a lot of people DO believe these things work. It's the most popular thread ever posted for a reason. People didn't "submit", as you say, and follow his advice just for the hell of it. They read what he had to say (without knowing who the hell he was) and went out there and tested his theories. And most of them, like myself, found them to be true. Of course they're all generalizations, but there are certain things that affect women on a deeper level, things that go past what makes up individual characteristics. Also remember that that this site is primarily about attracting HOT women. I'd suggest you test out his theories a little more before making any conclusions.
You're trapped in your own little world.
legolas
Master Don Juan
Keep it real!!! Oh and keep it alive too
In response to the original post--
As you can see I'm kind of new here... this post was one of the first ones I read here. Some pretty interesting points, it seems like I'm already naturally doing all those things mentioned in the original post, and I agree that they do get girls attention. BUT, I don't know what good it really did me.
The thing about playing cool, what ends up happening is girls become intimdated and even though they might like you they're afraid to show it at all, and even nervous when you approach them. This is especially true for shy girls, and is really really annoying.
A quote I found from another thread...
"Just as important as being cool, controlled and fun to be with, is striking when the situation warrants it and displaying an interest in her romantically. "
This is something I am very bad at. So what I end up with is a bunch of girls that are eager to hang around me and even flirt sometimes, but who are also afraid to get close. So I keep playing it cool, and they keep staying at a safe distance, and nothing ever happens.
So I guess something that is lacking in the original post is how to SHOW YOUR INTEREST while PLAYING IT COOL. How do you balance the two, what are some smooth ways of doing it, etc..
If any of you have some thoughts that would be really great.
Trigve
As you can see I'm kind of new here... this post was one of the first ones I read here. Some pretty interesting points, it seems like I'm already naturally doing all those things mentioned in the original post, and I agree that they do get girls attention. BUT, I don't know what good it really did me.
The thing about playing cool, what ends up happening is girls become intimdated and even though they might like you they're afraid to show it at all, and even nervous when you approach them. This is especially true for shy girls, and is really really annoying.
A quote I found from another thread...
"Just as important as being cool, controlled and fun to be with, is striking when the situation warrants it and displaying an interest in her romantically. "
This is something I am very bad at. So what I end up with is a bunch of girls that are eager to hang around me and even flirt sometimes, but who are also afraid to get close. So I keep playing it cool, and they keep staying at a safe distance, and nothing ever happens.
So I guess something that is lacking in the original post is how to SHOW YOUR INTEREST while PLAYING IT COOL. How do you balance the two, what are some smooth ways of doing it, etc..
If any of you have some thoughts that would be really great.
Trigve
btw I just wanted to add this, as far as showing interest, how do you show your interest to that ONE PARTICULAR GIRL you like? Because when you're doing your DJ thing you tend to end up socializing with many girls, so how do you let THAT GIRL know you're particularly interested in her, so she doesn't just think she's just one of the girls I just happen to talk to.
Jizamurai
Don Juan
(i may deserve to get flamed for even responding to the above posts, but hopefully it will help)
to people like Trigve7:
Remember, be it a great one...... "THIS IS ONLY 'ONE' POST!!!"
Read On! There is a wealth of knowledge on this site if you look for it! Don't expect people to answer your afc questions on such a thread as this one. That's why the mods want you to read the Don Juan Bible before you even start posting. There are threads that cover many different topics so don't get flustered if you don't find what you're looking for yet. These types of questions are for the "Don Juan Discussion" forum anyway.
I just read this site for a year before I started posting and believe me, there is a LOT of helpful and insightful stuff once you sift thru a lot of the new crap.
Just keep applying what you've been learning and don't take what happens so seriously. Eventually, you'll start to notice things on your own...
to people like Trigve7:
Remember, be it a great one...... "THIS IS ONLY 'ONE' POST!!!"
Read On! There is a wealth of knowledge on this site if you look for it! Don't expect people to answer your afc questions on such a thread as this one. That's why the mods want you to read the Don Juan Bible before you even start posting. There are threads that cover many different topics so don't get flustered if you don't find what you're looking for yet. These types of questions are for the "Don Juan Discussion" forum anyway.
I just read this site for a year before I started posting and believe me, there is a LOT of helpful and insightful stuff once you sift thru a lot of the new crap.
Just keep applying what you've been learning and don't take what happens so seriously. Eventually, you'll start to notice things on your own...
