"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Kicked in the balls...

DanelMadr

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 11, 2006
Messages
751
Reaction score
23
I went out with a girl. She was into me I suppose. I think she just wanted to taste (other)man before she marries her long time(first) boyfriend.

I wasn't willing to be human dildo, so we were just dating. I made no attempt to bed her or grab her boobs, basically because she wasn't on her best behaviour. She didn't flake but she tried several times to throw me off balance by mentioning her bf, some rude remarks, you can name it. I was in best mental shape and didn't give a sh*t about it. Mainly because I started to loose interest in her I suppose, because of this sh*t.

She wasn't rude (testing) all the time but sometimes she went on streak. And it all begin to look like a contest of power struggle.

And one day when the date was about to end, she had her testing streak, shooting one comment after another and I just shot down any comment she made and turning it on her.....and suddenly out of frustration or what she tried to knee my balls in a f*cking public place. I am well trained I suppose, because I diverted the attack in time by raising my knee and kicking her on thigh. Not much but enough to divert it....she could walk after that.

Well, if I didn't do it she would kick me in the balls. WTF man? Some horny b*tch. If she can't have them, beat them? Thats some logic.:D

Well, protect your balls, gentlemen.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Top