I could risk appearing aloof, but have you considered why that may be? Don't get me wrong, advancements are advancements and sometimes alternatives are called shots that hit the mark. But at one time we believed radithor was a good idea. Now "special K" certainly isn't in the same category, sure. But the high cost and risk... Is it worth any potential gains?
I believe I have dysfunctional/disregulated glutamate. I suspect this because I often feel extremely good after anesthesia (and i don't mean loopy, I mean clear-headed and lucid, for like 24 hours after), same with hangovers, and sometimes with acute sleep deprivation too. This is because anesthesia and alcohol are NMDA antagonists, and ketamine is as well. NMDA receptors are the primary binding site for glutamate which is arguably the brains most important neurotransmitter as it interacts with all other systems and is responsible for general neuronal excitability/activity. So when the NMDA receptors are temporarily antagonized, your brain responds later by having whats known "glutamate rebound" where there is increased levels of glutamate in the brain. In the case of alcohol it can lead to neurotoxicity (one reason I stopped drinking), but in the case of anesthesia and NMDA antagonist medications, it does not. For most people this does not lead to any drastic changes in subjectivity, but there is a small subset of people who report similar experiences to mine, elevated mood, lucidity/clear headedness, etc.
Ketamine is not neurotoxic and it is in fact technically an anesthetic. It has similar risks to traditional psychedelics, which I've taken many times and never had a problem with.
I'm not saying it's fully risk free though. But I think it may work. Personally I'm of the camp that avoiding risks for your whole life is a mistake. I've tried all sorts of traditional antidepressants and none of them really change much. Therapy doesn't help much either. I'm desperate. I've spent almost half my life depressed.
