Just Witnessed a girl laugh at some Dude who tried to approach her

[oldmanofthesea]

When approaching cold, most men broadcast that they’re all-in and accepting her fully based on nothing but looks, and that she doesn’t have to earn his acceptance of her as he’s already shown all his cards.

Better is to approach, or I prefer to say “make initial contact”, with a reserved demeanor. Convey immediately that you’re giving her a shot at showing you some substance, but that you are entirely undecided about her. This has to be conveyed to her almost immediately. Body language, facial expression, tone of voice, all help to convey detachment.

Most men approach with this fake “slick” demeanor, and with an “I’m all yours if you’ll have me” vibe.

What works for me is a “Meh, I guess I’ll talk to you to see if there’s anything of substance there” vibe. Works like a charm.

This is great advice and exactly what I employ in my cold approaches. Even if I am direct and let them know I'm here talking to them because I saw them and thought they were cute, I am still conveying a somewhat judging and skeptical vibe, while still being friendly. Part of this is the way I challenge what they say, and I do not praise or accept everything that comes out of their mouths. They have to impress me in order for me to praise them, and I'm not afraid of questioning their responses and being skeptical. It really flips the script.

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

Well women should be thr ones chasing in the first place, who was it that decided men have to be the ones to chase? In the animal kingdom a lot of the time the females are the ones that chase. Like with male bees, they exist just to reproduce while the females do all the work.

maybe thats why the dating site where women do the approaching is called ''bumble'' , no wonder bumble blew up overnight, with commercials of teachers, single mothers, the milf next door all dating , with no regards at all to marriage

 

[Bigpapa]

Regardless of approach, failure is inevitable.

Guys who feign disinterest aren't fooling anybody.

The Death of Indirect Game

To be sure, the title is a bit of hyperbole...of course, indirect game will continue to work for many, and the principles espoused in models like M3 are generally correct (besides the one about 7 hours of comfort). But, there are a lot of pitfalls that stem from introducing superfluous...

www.sosuave.net

I still think that indirect game is the best , as with direct games she feels the urge to decide if yes or no , and most of the times it will be a no because she plays it safe

 

[Bigpapa]

depends how you convey your indirect game

I am making her laugh , touching her then backing down , saying things so she can qualify herself to me , and so on

but she is not sure at the beginning , if I am hitting on her or not , or if I am really attracted on her or not

I am ambivalent

playing it like this will make her think more about you and the situation . Basically you do not give her the power to be the chooser 100%

 

[Bigpapa]

the problem with direct game is that she needs to take a decision early on about you , so from the get go you will end up with girls that are into you from the get go

this Means that you will loose a lot of girls that are “maybe “ as a first impression about you

 

[Atom Smasher]

Regardless of approach, failure is inevitable.

Guys who feign disinterest aren't fooling anybody.

The Death of Indirect Game

To be sure, the title is a bit of hyperbole...of course, indirect game will continue to work for many, and the principles espoused in models like M3 are generally correct (besides the one about 7 hours of comfort). But, there are a lot of pitfalls that stem from introducing superfluous...

www.sosuave.net

You’re right. Men who feign disinterest aren’t fooling anybody.

Men who are in fact non-invested and detached yet friendly enjoy a high rate of success. Projection (how you handle your energy) is everything.

 

[Rocnavy]

the problem with direct game is that she needs to take a decision early on about you , so from the get go you will end up with girls that are into you from the get go

this Means that you will loose a lot of girls that are “maybe “ as a first impression about you

That's cool cause you will waste time with a maybe chick.

 

[Bigpapa]

That's cool cause you will waste time with a maybe chick.

the problem with “maybe” girls is that maybe she is having a bad day and this can f8ck her mood , even though she likes you and you might be a perfect match

women are quite emotional creatures , that is why I do not immediately cross off the yellow or the orange ones

 

[Rocnavy]

the problem with “maybe” girls is that maybe she is having a bad day and this can f8ck her mood , even though she likes you and you might be a perfect match

women are quite emotional creatures

I dont doubt that but you gotta asked yourself are you willing to keep trying with a maybe chick?

 

[Rocnavy]

EVERY woman is a "maybe" at some point or another. Guys who are, or who want to be involved, in LTRs will especially tend to think about this (and they shouldn't, in my opinion).

At some point, with every woman, you have to be willing to walk away from them in order to keep them.

I prefer rejection over regret every time. Because there are always more girls.

Yep treat women like they walking on egg shells with you cause the minute you allow them to walk over you they will keep on walking over you until eventually she loses respect for you all together.

 

[Georgepithyou]

In fact, talking to strange girls raises your status on its own. The guy in the OP held status over the girl until he allowed her to DHV him. His frame slipped, that's all. The more gregarious you are, the more people will know you.

Too many guys go out just to approach women, instead of wasting your time doing that men should go out and do what they want to do.

For example your going out to meet your friends for a movie, you see a beautiful woman along the way and she is giving you signals. You approach her, youe success rate would be much higher.

I don'tsee why so many men spend all their free time cold approaching, it's not a productive use of your time.

 

[samspade]

Too many guys go out just to approach women, instead of wasting your time doing that men should go out and do what they want to do.

For example your going out to meet your friends for a movie, you see a beautiful woman along the way and she is giving you signals. You approach her, youe success rate would be much higher.

I don'tsee why so many men spend all their free time cold approaching, it's not a productive use of your time.

Two different arguments here.

First...to me it's irrelevant whether the man went out with the intention of doing approaches, or was out doing his thing and saw a girl to approach. I agree with you that it's better to be doing your thing, but to each his own. Who cares? It has nothing to do with what the guy did to himself in the original post.

Second...If you see a girl you want to meet, go up and talk to her. Forget "signals." They help but aren't the be-all end-all and you leave plenty of good women on the table if you only look for them. I don't care about success rate because it's all success. Some guys think "she rejected me, so the conversation was a waste of time." First, I disagree - it's time well spent. Second, it's very little investment. Three to four minutes should give a clue about if she's interested or not. Really, who cares. What matters is are you having fun. You are not going to fukk every girl you meet, so you might as well have fun talking to them. If she's a bytch, that's her problem. (And yes, Virginia, I've gotten laid from girls who didn't even look my way once.)

The problem with strictly waiting for signals and IOIs is it goes against frame. Frame > anything she does or doesn't do. Don't wait for permission. Be a social retard and go talk to her.

 

[Rocnavy]

Two different arguments here.

First...to me it's irrelevant whether the man went out with the intention of doing approaches, or was out doing his thing and saw a girl to approach. I agree with you that it's better to be doing your thing, but to each his own. Who cares? It has nothing to do with what the guy did to himself in the original post.

Second...If you see a girl you want to meet, go up and talk to her. Forget "signals." They help but aren't the be-all end-all and you leave plenty of good women on the table if you only look for them. I don't care about success rate because it's all success. Some guys think "she rejected me, so the conversation was a waste of time." First, I disagree - it's time well spent. Second, it's very little investment. Three to four minutes should give a clue about if she's interested or not. Really, who cares. What matters is are you having fun. You are not going to fukk every girl you meet, so you might as well have fun talking to them. If she's a bytch, that's her problem. (And yes, Virginia, I've gotten laid from girls who didn't even look my way once.)

The problem with strictly waiting for signals and IOIs is it goes against frame. Frame > anything she does or doesn't do. Don't wait for permission. Be a social retard and go talk to her.

That don't even make sense they just don't wanna admit that they scared of rejection so they rather play it safe by waiting on the woman to make the first move. I'm sorry but men are hunters and go for what they want. Now if the woman you want happens to send you choosing signals cool but don't just sit around waiting or you gonna miss out.

 

[Rocnavy]

In my experience it's incredibly productive. DJs are built through failure.

Failure leads to experience...which leads to knowledge...which leads to confidence.

Yep the only way to get better is thru trial n error.

 

[Bigpapa]

Yep the only way to get better is thru trial n error.

it is the same thing With job interviews , and other stuff like that

 

[Atom Smasher]

By the way, for those of us who are speaking about signals, I know it sounds like we are timidly waiting for an obvious hammer over the head before we will approach. This couldn’t be farther from the truth.

It’s a matter of learning instinctively who will be receptive, and who will not. It seems like an inner “knowing”, but I believe it’s actually being so finely-tuned into the unspoken language of women that there's really no need to cold approach blindly.

 

[Georgepithyou]

Now if the woman you want happens to send you choosing signals cool but don't just sit around waiting or you gonna miss out.

Do you think we are going out to sit and wait for women to give signals? We are saying go out live your life, and if a woman u pass by happens to give you signals you go and approach.

Going out for the sole purpose of approaching has got to be the stupidest thing a man can do.

 

[Rocnavy]

Do you think we are going out to sit and wait for women to give signals? We are saying go out live your life, and if a woman u pass by happens to give you signals you go and approach.

Going out for the sole purpose of approaching has got to be the stupidest thing a man can do.

Stop making excuses on why you don't wanna cold approach women you don't know and just admit you scared of rejection.

 

[samspade]

By the way, for those of us who are speaking about signals, I know it sounds like we are timidly waiting for an obvious hammer over the head before we will approach. This couldn’t be farther from the truth.

It’s a matter of learning instinctively who will be receptive, and who will not. It seems like an inner “knowing”, but I believe it’s actually being so finely-tuned into the unspoken language of women that there's really no need to cold approach blindly.

I hear what you're saying. This is probably one of those topics where both sides are talking past each other.

There's nothing wrong with being dialed in. The knowing you speak of - to me - always feels like more of a stirring of real attraction - from me, though, not her. In that sense by feeling it and conveying it, it becomes self-fulfilling, as opposed to a shot in the dark. She will pick up on your boner (or whatever, no other way to put it, but not literally). Whereas if you're just running a routine, it will come off as rote. A twinkle in your eye goes a long way.

Nevertheless I know for certain this doesn't require the woman to even have seen you until you speak to her. And she can even come across as disinterested or even bytchy and it will still be, paradoxically, an IOI. EVERYTHING is an IOI until she rejects you. I'd have left a lot of good women on the table otherwise.

Besides, I don't think anyone here has a 100% number close rate, let alone lay rate.

 

[corrector]

True, like everything in life. But when it works and you get laid with a 9 or a 10, it's worth the failed approaches in my opinion. You got the girl you wanted, that's a nice feeling.

Yeah but you feel bad when she is gone because now you have to start from scratch again and go through all of that again.