Just got an email from ex wife...advice needed

[Kailex]

I would just go NC.
If there was no written agreement, document, etc... this is just "extortion" of the emotional sort. How are you to know she won't ask for another $6,000 down the line... so on and so forth?

 

[Rubirosa]

No contact. Responding to any email will open up a can of worms. Any guilt you are feeling is a White Knight condition which society has thrust upon you. If the roles were reversed, you would be ridiculed. No contact, not even to refuse her plea.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Delete email. Move on with your life.

 

[Longshot]

Precisely what HoneyHitter wrote- no exception. Good luck.

 

[Poop1337]

Housing as gone up a lot since 2011 where I live. Would she be offering you $6000 if the place had greatly gone up in value since you were bought out? Just ignore her.

 

[expos]

Hi all, I've been reading the forum for quite a few months and as a recovering AFC it's helped me a lot.

I've been divorced since July 2011 and since then I've had my ups and downs, getting back on the dating scene, one step forward, two steps back kind of thing. I'm happy though and I'm a changed man since my divorce.

She's Spanish and I met her in the UK 12 years ago. To cut a long story short I came to Spain with her, got married, then I got suffocated in the relationship. The spanish are very family orientated and I got sucked in, so much so that her father gave me a job in his business. I knew I shouldn't have accepted, but I was nice guy who didn't want to refuse. I know, I was a chump. I was in her parents' for lunch nearly everyday, if I suggested not going she would call them to tell them we weren't coming thereby defeating the purpose of getting away on our own without the shadow of parental authority.

To be honest the parents was just one factor. I know I should have bailed long before. I liked her, but was never crazy about her, but as I know now it was AFC bull****. "What if I don't find someone else?" "The ready made sex is good." etc

Anyway things went from bad to worse and I just couldn't do it anymore. So we split up three years ago. She wanted me out of the house and gave me 25,000 euros. Fair enough, thank you very much.

Today I got an email from her saying she's "up to her neck" economically. House prices have gone down and she can't get the place sold for love or money. She then totted up the mortgage payments/ assessors etc from the time I signed the house over to her. (Does she not consider I've being paying similar in rent since then, while she lives with her parents and doesn't pay a penny for food/board). Since she's taking a hit financially, she thinks it's only "fair" that I give back some of the money she gave me three years ago. 6000 euros to be exact. She even gave me or bank ac number. "1000 a month would be fine." There was also more emotional ****, then a cursory "hope you are well at the end".

What should I do? Ignore or justify my expenses in the three years, which I would find beneath me to be honest. I mean she's asking for 6 grand. Her father has two houses in prime locations and a successful business. They're not short of money at all. What's the motive?

Thanks for reading.

A.

Look at the motive here. It's only when SHE needs something. To her, what she can get out of or back from you is the most important. This doesn't have anything to do with your well being.

Was your divorce amicable? Was she a good person or a b!tch?

I have no issue talking with exes who were good people, but for whatever reason WE didn't work out. I have my exes as FB friends and there are no hard feelings. But if the woman was a b!tch, then I never talk to them again.

When you divorce someone, especially if there are no kids involved, it means that the relationship is over and there is no reason for contact.

 

[Allan273]

Thanks to all for the advice.

Look at the motive here. It's only when SHE needs something. To her, what she can get out of or back from you is the most important. This doesn't have anything to do with your well being.

Was your divorce amicable? Was she a good person or a b!tch?

I have no issue talking with exes who were good people, but for whatever reason WE didn't work out. I have my exes as FB friends and there are no hard feelings. But if the woman was a b!tch, then I never talk to them again.

When you divorce someone, especially if there are no kids involved, it means that the relationship is over and there is no reason for contact.

Expos, the divorce was amicable but very fast. We called it a day in April 2011 and we were divorced by July. We didn't have kids so there was no need for contact.

She has also been in contact for the last year or so with my best friend's wife. She has been moaning to her about not being able to sell the house, knowing that this will filter back to me. "Oh poor me,I can't sell the house." "Does Al know anyone in the UK who might be interested in the house?" She's also gleaned information about where I'm working.

She mentioned the 6 k to her about three months ago, my friend told me to expect an email to that effect. I was worried about it for a few weeks after, but as time passed it went to the back of my mind. I think this tactic of hers stinks as she was never really close to my friend's wife. Yes, we socialized together, but it was just a case of me getting together with my mate. My mate says his missus is sick of the calls.

She also mentioned that she's seeing someone. "Does Al know I'm seeing someone?" As if I give a damn.This kind of echoes what honeyhitter mentioned.

 

[backbreaker]

I would send her a certified mail with a blank check on it that said LOL in big letters

 

[Allan273]

Just got a text message from her.

"I sent you an email 5 days ago, I think I deserve an answer."

Should have changed my phone number after divorce.

 

[Warrior74]

Block her on your phone and email. Move on. Zero contact. Trust and believe she wants that money for something else. Probably a holiday with some guy. Alpha fux and beta bucks.

 

[Allan273]

Block her on your phone and email. Move on. Zero contact. Trust and believe she wants that money for something else. Probably a holiday with some guy. Alpha fux and beta bucks.

Yeah, she is seeing some guy. As I mentioned upthread she revealed this to my friend's wife.

 

[jimmy18]

Just got a text message from her.

"I sent you an email 5 days ago, I think I deserve an answer."

Should have changed my phone number after divorce.

Notice the sense of entitlement in her text?

Even more reason for you not to respond.

She might try and be "nicer" later on when she realises you are not going to deal with her.

You must ignore her then too.

 

[VikingKing]

Respond with "well, there is always the corner." then never talk to her again.

 

[backbreaker]

This is what u should really do

U should call and tell her I will do it but I want a blow job first for old time sake


Then when she does it kick her out lol what is she go do tell everyone she blowed u and u did not pay her lol


Im twisted like that

 

[abe0]

I do not get this thread....divorce is over....its final....good bye.....You have nothing to do with her ... period. Abe

 

[Zunder]

A. Tell her you spent it on hookers
B. Tell her to become a hooker
then delete.

 

[VikingKing]

This is what u should really do

U should call and tell her I will do it but I want a blow job first for old time sake


Then when she does it kick her out lol what is she go do tell everyone she blowed u and u did not pay her lol


Im twisted like that

:crackup:

 

[Allan273]

Notice the sense of entitlement in her text?

Even more reason for you not to respond.

She might try and be "nicer" later on when she realises you are not going to deal with her.

You must ignore her then too.

Yes, Jimmy, unbelievable. just checked my phone and there were 9 blocked calls and two messages. One was, "show some balls and answer the phone." I'm going to change my number tomorrow because I don't need this. Cheers for the advice.

 

[Allan273]

THIS^^

You divorced 2 YEARS AGO. YOU OWE HER NOTHING. NOTHING!

Trust me on this:

ANY response you give will NOT be in YOUR best interest. It will open a dialogue and a can of worms that will NOT help you in any way shape of form.

Papers were signed, both sides agreed - end of story.

Delete text, ignore calls, delete emails.

Do NOT Respond.

Thanks for that mauser, because I was on the verge of responding with "we're ****ing divorced, just **** off."

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Yes, Jimmy, unbelievable. just checked my phone and there were 9 blocked calls and two messages. One was, "show some balls and answer the phone." I'm going to change my number tomorrow because I don't need this. Cheers for the advice.

Cheers to you too. What really gets me when you posted that one simple text, I was like "wow!" Women have no trouble badmouthing men for whatever you can think of, including empowering one another about how they don't need one. But when sh*t hits the fan, oh boy do they need a REAL man to step up then...their words, not mine...lol.