Just be Cool

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

I have come to realize that most men are missing one of the most important foundations of social dynamics:

JUST BE COOL.

You do not have to be the richest guy, the hottest guy, the funniest guy, or the most interesting guy in the room. You do not need perfect game, perfect lines, or some highly calculated strategy. You optimize your results in life and with people when you simply become COOL.

And no, being cool is not about acting detached or pretending you care less. It is not about being some mysterious “alpha” character. Being cool is about being comfortable. Present. Self-assured. Relaxed. Genuine.

Think about the moments in your life when you could tell someone was genuinely enjoying your company — male or female. Think about those moments when you felt in control, calm, and grounded. You were not trying to get anything. You were not forcing anything. You were not thinking ten moves ahead.

You were just there.

Many men get trapped in theory, pills, endless advice, and over-analysis. They become obsessed with how to appear masculine, dominant, attractive, or high value. Everything becomes scripted. Everything becomes calculated.

“How should I respond?”

“How long should I wait?”

“What frame should I hold?”

“What would an alpha do?”

The moment you become trapped in your own head, you start losing the thing that matters most: your presence.

Because people can feel it.

People can feel when you are seeking validation.

People can feel when you are desperate for an outcome.

People can feel when you are trying too hard.

Especially women.

Instead, what if your goal became:

JUST BE COOL with the bartender.

JUST BE COOL with the guy standing next to you in line.

JUST BE COOL with the old lady in the elevator.

JUST BE COOL at the beach.

JUST BE COOL with the woman you’re spending time with.

Good body language. Positive facial expressions. Relaxed energy. Friendly comments. Being self-amused. Being interested without trying to impress. Being comfortable without needing anything in return.

Those things go much further than people realize.

The key is becoming the same person everywhere. If you’re only “cool” around women you’re attracted to, people feel the switch. If you’re relaxed and grounded with everyone, it becomes real.

Some people grew up with social circles, sports teams, friends, status, and naturally accumulated thousands of social reps early in life. Others did not. That doesn’t mean you’re behind. Social ease can be developed.

Practice being cool in your own way before trying to become some Don Juan spam approaching women with no inner game. Before becoming the guy sending thirsty DMs hoping for validation.

I speak from experience. I have consumed the theory. I have overthought things. I have gone through my own trials and tribulations with women. After a lot of experiences and a lot of success, I am realizing that the foundation is much simpler than I thought.

Stop trying to create an impression.

Start creating a presence.

JUST BE COOL.

 

[pipeman84]

 

[The Duke]

I have come to realize that most men are missing one of the most important foundations of social dynamics:

JUST BE COOL.

You do not have to be the richest guy, the hottest guy, the funniest guy, or the most interesting guy in the room. You do not need perfect game, perfect lines, or some highly calculated strategy. You optimize your results in life and with people when you simply become COOL.

And no, being cool is not about acting detached or pretending you care less. It is not about being some mysterious “alpha” character. Being cool is about being comfortable. Present. Self-assured. Relaxed. Genuine.

Think about the moments in your life when you could tell someone was genuinely enjoying your company — male or female. Think about those moments when you felt in control, calm, and grounded. You were not trying to get anything. You were not forcing anything. You were not thinking ten moves ahead.

You were just there.

Many men get trapped in theory, pills, endless advice, and over-analysis. They become obsessed with how to appear masculine, dominant, attractive, or high value. Everything becomes scripted. Everything becomes calculated.

“How should I respond?”

“How long should I wait?”

“What frame should I hold?”

“What would an alpha do?”

The moment you become trapped in your own head, you start losing the thing that matters most: your presence.

Because people can feel it.

People can feel when you are seeking validation.

People can feel when you are desperate for an outcome.

People can feel when you are trying too hard.

Especially women.

Instead, what if your goal became:

JUST BE COOL with the bartender.

JUST BE COOL with the guy standing next to you in line.

JUST BE COOL with the old lady in the elevator.

JUST BE COOL at the beach.

JUST BE COOL with the woman you’re spending time with.

Good body language. Positive facial expressions. Relaxed energy. Friendly comments. Being self-amused. Being interested without trying to impress. Being comfortable without needing anything in return.

Those things go much further than people realize.

The key is becoming the same person everywhere. If you’re only “cool” around women you’re attracted to, people feel the switch. If you’re relaxed and grounded with everyone, it becomes real.

Some people grew up with social circles, sports teams, friends, status, and naturally accumulated thousands of social reps early in life. Others did not. That doesn’t mean you’re behind. Social ease can be developed.

Practice being cool in your own way before trying to become some Don Juan spam approaching women with no inner game. Before becoming the guy sending thirsty DMs hoping for validation.

I speak from experience. I have consumed the theory. I have overthought things. I have gone through my own trials and tribulations with women. After a lot of experiences and a lot of success, I am realizing that the foundation is much simpler than I thought.

Stop trying to create an impression.

Start creating a presence.

JUST BE COOL.

Good advice, and you're the coolest dude on the forum.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Hey man. Had not see you post anything in a while. Welcome back

 

[Clockwerk50]

Just to piggyback on the being “cool” aspect, being cool makes you approachable enough to where a woman feels comfortable even to the farfetched case of her indirectly approaching you.

You could be all that, but if a woman genuinely doesn’t believe she can interact with you without feeling humiliated or rejected, she probably won’t.

You have to present yourself, through your vibe and mannerisms, in a way that feels friendly, relaxed, and cooperative enough that engaging with you does not feel like it will become a bad experience.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Similar to my opinions on other threads that acting like a "normal" person these days will get you laid more than ever before because you will be seen as a breath of fresh air...

If I had a dollar for every woman I met off OLD that literally thanked me for "being normal" I would be doing pretty well...

 

[BadBoy89]

This is great advice if the woman over 30.

But if the woman is under 30? I wouldn't say be cool, I would say be manipulative, tricky, underhanded, deceitful, and a liar UNTIL she gets pregnant and delivers a healthy baby. Once she does, THEN be cool.

What are you going do, be single at 46 with no kids and say "but I was cool"

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Just don't play the Eagles, man. They're not cool.

 

[BPH]

Similar to my opinions on other threads that acting like a "normal" person these days will get you laid more than ever before because you will be seen as a breath of fresh air...

If I had a dollar for every woman I met off OLD that literally thanked me for "being normal" I would be doing pretty well...

I had a date last night that I need to write a new report on, but she told me she was feeling a bit sad. Apparently, a little over a year ago, she was married, and her husband died in some sort of accident, which she said she was hesitant to share with me, because she was worried about how I'd react, saying she'd had some bad experiences.

I asked what she meant, and she told me another guy responded to that information by asking, "So are you just using me as an emotional crutch?"

The bar is really low for being a decent human being.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Most guys are their own worst enemies when it comes to this

the amount of times I've seen blokes completely blow themselves to bits in an attempt to be overtly "masculine" is hilarious

Theres a dude in my gym who I think is on some mild steroids he charges around in stringer vests grunting and swinging his shoulders as he walks.

Its quite the spectacle

Another common example is in a group setting where theres a lot of guys and a handful of women ...soon guys are trying to measure d1ck size against one another by seeing who has the best job or makes the most money

its all very cringe and women ( aside from gold diggers) do not seem much to care for such behaviour

 

[Clockwerk50]

I had a date last night that I need to write a new report on, but she told me she was feeling a bit sad. Apparently, a little over a year ago, she was married, and her husband died in some sort of accident, which she said she was hesitant to share with me, because she was worried about how I'd react, saying she'd had some bad experiences.

I asked what she meant, and she told me another guy responded to that information by asking, "So are you just using me as an emotional crutch?"

The bar is really low for being a decent human being.

Welcome to the post-modern gender war culture of the red pill, MGTOW, 50/50, and “everyone is out to get you” mentality.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

.

Interesting post from a forum member of whom I respect.

I have come to realize that most men are missing one of the most important foundations of social dynamics:

JUST BE COOL.

You do not have to be the richest guy, the hottest guy, the funniest guy, or the most interesting guy in the room. You do not need perfect game, perfect lines, or some highly calculated strategy. You optimize your results in life and with people when you simply become COOL.

And no, being cool is not about acting detached or pretending you care less. It is not about being some mysterious “alpha” character. Being cool is about being comfortable. Present. Self-assured. Relaxed. Genuine.

But see, two things can be true at the same time.

I don't believe there is a contradiction between being present, self-assured, relaxed, genuine..

And...

Being detached, caring less, and mysterious.

Why can't you be both?

I've spoken on this subject before, but do you understand the power of caring less, being detached, and being mysterious?

Those are your powers that you possess, as a man!!

And those are precisely the three things that women crave and seek from you..and when you keep those things away from them, it can have them rethinking their whole life.
...

My version of cool is..

1. Hit the gym, and build natural muscle mass. The idea is to look physically appealing to the average woman.

2. Unless you're in a social setting, do not speak unless spoken to.

3. If you are cold approaching, keep interactions to 60 seconds, or less.

4. Never pay women empty compliments. If you aren't going in for the kill, then simply STFU.

Women just simply can't handle a physically attractive man, who doesn't pay them any mind.

I reckon that your advice will reasonate with these blokes more than mines, but it is what is...they don't listen anyway.

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

Good advice, and you're the coolest dude on the forum.

Much respect OG !

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

.

Interesting post from a forum member of whom I respect.







But see, two things can be true at the same time.

I don't believe there is a contradiction between being present, self-assured, relaxed, genuine..

And...

Being detached, caring less, and mysterious.

Why can't you be both?

I've spoken on this subject before, but do you understand the power of caring less, being detached, and being mysterious?

Those are your powers that you possess, as a man!!

And those are precisely the three things that women crave and seek from you..and when you keep those things away from them, it can have them rethinking their whole life.
...

My version of cool is..

1. Hit the gym, and build natural muscle mass. The idea is to look physically appealing to the average woman.

2. Unless you're in a social setting, do not speak unless spoken to.

3. If you are cold approaching, keep interactions to 60 seconds, or less.

4. Never pay women empty compliments. If you aren't going in for the kill, then simply STFU.

Women just simply can't handle a physically attractive man, who doesn't pay them any mind.

I reckon that your advice will reasonate with these blokes more than mines, but it is what is...they don't listen anyway.

You're not wrong! My post was highlighting how we can't truly tap into those powers without this foundation... as a fellow mode 1 advocate, you know like I know the mode one approaches are ten times more powerful comin from a cool dude. Your version of cool is made from actual experience and actually being cool. Us giving advice to dudes who can't even be cool is a shot in the dark.

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

Similar to my opinions on other threads that acting like a "normal" person these days will get you laid more than ever before because you will be seen as a breath of fresh air...

If I had a dollar for every woman I met off OLD that literally thanked me for "being normal" I would be doing pretty well...

Exactly! I've seen you preach similar ideas... wisdom is relaxing

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

I had a date last night that I need to write a new report on, but she told me she was feeling a bit sad. Apparently, a little over a year ago, she was married, and her husband died in some sort of accident, which she said she was hesitant to share with me, because she was worried about how I'd react, saying she'd had some bad experiences.

I asked what she meant, and she told me another guy responded to that information by asking, "So are you just using me as an emotional crutch?"

The bar is really low for being a decent human being.

Yea that's cringe af smh...great example of talking your way out of the coochie... @BPH I can tell you're like me in that you enjoy asking women about past dates and meet ups so we can learn just how bad other dudes are lol that's high level ish.

 

[SmoothHendrixPS2]

This is great advice if the woman over 30.

But if the woman is under 30? I wouldn't say be cool, I would say be manipulative, tricky, underhanded, deceitful, and a liar UNTIL she gets pregnant and delivers a healthy baby. Once she does, THEN be cool.

What are you going do, be single at 46 with no kids and say "but I was cool"

Well it appears you believe one has to have a child to be cool. Manipulation is power, i'm all for it... but who's able to be more manipulative with women? a dude with swag or a nerd...

No matter what age a woman is, treat her like a child.

 

[Bible_Belt]

The character Fonzie on the old show Happy Days was a metaphor for cool for a long time.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

The character Fonzie on the old show Happy Days was a metaphor for cool for a long time.

Looking back, he (the character) was a bit of a try-hard. And the actor himself didn't seem very cool or charismatic.

Would Dirty Harry jump a phucking shark on jet skis? Hell no.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Looking back, he (the character) was a bit of a try-hard. And the actor himself didn't seem very cool or charismatic.

Would Dirty Harry jump a phucking shark on jet skis? Hell no.

That episode was so bad that it created "jumping the shark" as a metaphor. But that was because he was the definition of cool before he destroyed everything so badly. The Fonzie character inspired me to normalize parking my motorcycle in my living room.