"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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JPlaya's random approach journal

JPlaya

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Well I'm very new to this, and I'm never going to get over this girl by sitting on my ass at home all day, so why find a new girl to crush on. I'm not going to be looking for a relationship now because I'm about to move on to college, so I might as well get my feet wet beforehand.

Well my appearance isn't bad I guess. I'm 6ft 1, athletic, abs, and black. I think my blackness is holding me back, but that attitude will probably change. I hope! People say I'm a 7/10, but I've never done anything with a girl. I'm a shy guy and I am kind of picky. I don't get to go out as much but when I do it's with friends. My main problem is I don't know what to say at all when I cold approach. I should be going out tomorrow, so I'll post my experiences tomorrow.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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JPlaya

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Update

I didn't get to go anywhere girls were at. I was hoping I would find some luck at the pool, but total sausage fest.
 

LoneWolf

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skin color is NOT a problem. i'm dark myself and when i was young i didn't even need to approach girls. for real, i just use to go to parties and girls would start talking to me.. and most of those girls were WHITE.
 

JPlaya

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Yeah I'm not very social. That could be my major problem. I'm going to have to change myself before college starts.
 

JPlaya

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Tomorrow I might actually be able to go out and stuff. I might go out to eat and to the mall with my friends. I'm going to study every guide tonight and use it tomorrow.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Mike32ct

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JPlaya said:
People say I'm a 7/10, but I've never done anything with a girl. I'm a shy guy and I am kind of picky. I don't get to go out as much but when I do it's with friends.
Don't be TOO picky, especially at first. I'm not suggesting that you hook up with ugly, nasty girls, but don't expect your first to be a 9 or 10. If she's cute and doable, it's game on. There's nothing wrong with fooling around with a 7. It's about getting some experience.
 

JPlaya

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I know what you're talking about. My preference is generally a 5 to about an 8
 

I'm in the Mood

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Good luck with the journal! You can actually use your blackness to your advantage, because there are white girls who are attracted to black guys just because they're different. Go figure!
 

Deicide

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Mike32ct said:
Don't be TOO picky, especially at first. I'm not suggesting that you hook up with ugly, nasty girls, but don't expect your first to be a 9 or 10. If she's cute and doable, it's game on. There's nothing wrong with fooling around with a 7. It's about getting some experience.
You could also add in MILF's, especially if he's a younger guy. Sure, they're more than likely married or in relationships and may be biased against your age. But if you get the right one, she could be a f*ck buddy. That, and any cold approach is great experience, no matter what happens. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
 
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