Jesus Christ a weekend of autism

[CaptFinnBad]

Got flaked on by a women I know. .

So decided I wanted to still do something went online and quickly found a date to do something with.

Ended up going hiking with a woman who clearly has autism. She ended up hyper focusing on very specific and niche subjects the whole time.

Towards the end she mentioned the doctors suspects she had autism.


I totally would have banged her. But my morale compass was pinging so, didn't escalate. Didn't really know how to navigate it.

The whole date was hilarious though in a good way , the bluntness, honesty and hyper focusing on specific niche subjects cracked me up.

Especially when she become comfortable. Ended up just rolling with the insanity.

We went for a hike, got back to the cars, sat in hers for hours listening to old school rap music , whilst she smoked weed and rambled on.

I don't think I laughed so much in a long time!

Ask me anything about Landrover discovery 3 engines!!! I'm an expert after tonight lol.

Gotta be one of the most bizarre, funniest dates I've ever had. Haha


Might see her again because it was so funny and I genuinely had a good time.

Would sleeping with her be wrong? Id be honest with her I don't want a relationship, only hanging out as friends e.t.c.

Don't really understand autism enough to know how to navigate this.

 

[plumber]

probably pump and dump is a selfish move. but possible. your post describes that you actually enjoyed her company. if she is attractive enough for you could be a keeper. the best keepers are the ones not looking for.

girls in autism spectrum are a different sort. in both good and annoying ways. if you ever wanted loyalty take a closer look at this one. she is still a woman and still is subject to monthly swings. she will hove no tolerance for dishonesty.

 

[BaronOfHair]

She ended up hyper focusing on very specific and niche subjects the whole time.

In other words, she very much aligns with the state our entire society has been in for the past decade or so

 

[justaroundthecorner]

I do not get it entirely, as:
- you would have totally banged her
- she can talk about land rover engines
- she is fun
- she likes hiking

I see no red flags mentioned there, also I love a bit nerdy/non-standard (aka not boring) females. If a bit nerdy female is hot - oh man, why would you ever want to classify her only as pump & dump ? I see potential dating material.

If she really has autism, I would definitely recommend to abstain from pump&dump/ONS as it would almost certainly hurt her.

This seems to be a decent read about female autism :
https://www.healthline.com/health/autism-in-women#general-symptoms

If she is the well functioning type of autistic person and rather hot in your opinion, I'd consider dating her. She also may respond better to more direct comnunication which may actually be a forte.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi CaptainFinn,
" Landrover discovery 3 engines!!! I'm an expert after tonight lol."....I am using my Cousins '62 L.Rover Ute right now,Such a practical Vehicle,power take off for a Log Splitter,Just love the Crank Handle! got stuck,a while back, with front and back bogged,just let tyres down,removed plugs and winched myself out using the crank handle,try that with an Isuzu Diesal LOL.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

I do not get it entirely, as:
- you would have totally banged her
- she can talk about land rover engines
- she is fun
- she likes hiking

I see no red flags mentioned there, also I love a bit nerdy/non-standard (aka not boring) females. If a bit nerdy female is hot - oh man, why would you ever want to classify her only as pump & dump ? I see potential dating material.

If she really has autism, I would definitely recommend to abstain from pump&dump/ONS as it would almost certainly hurt her.

This seems to be a decent read about female autism :
https://www.healthline.com/health/autism-in-women#general-symptoms

If she is the well functioning type of autistic person and rather hot in your opinion, I'd consider dating her. She also may respond better to more direct comnunication which may actually be a forte.

I don't think I could handle all the quirks in a long term relationship. Especially about food e.t.c.

So yeah I do find her attractive, she's fun to be around. I don't thing I'd want anything serious with her.

Would like to hang out again though. Dunno if sleeping with her would be the right move ? If I had no intention of something serious?

I'm thinking perhaps friend zone her and do hiking and outdoor stuff with her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why do you care about sleeping with her or not? Having autism doesn't mean wltou have no ability to make decisions, it just usually means you are somewhat awkward socially.

 

[plumber]

Why do you care about sleeping with her or not? Having autism doesn't mean wltou have no ability to make decisions, it just usually means you are somewhat awkward socially.

the internal pattern is much more than that. the Temple Grandin story that has a movie, does a good job of telling about it. Temple is more extreme but the ideas are sound and on point for the more mild. its actually pretty easy to trick her unless she is already very jaded from bad experiences. she likely doesn't have the women's intuition that often shields women from bad intentions. far less common in women then men. she likely can match or exceed the common male logic. not wanting to trick an autistic girl shows class.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

the internal pattern is much more than that. the Temple Grandin story that has a movie, does a good job of telling about it. Temple is more extreme but the ideas are sound and on point for the more mild. its actually pretty easy to trick her unless she is already very jaded from bad experiences. she likely doesn't have the women's intuition that often shields women from bad intentions. far less common in women then men. she likely can match or exceed the common male logic. not wanting to trick an autistic girl shows class.

Exactly what is he "tricking her into"?

Women like sex just as much if not more than men do.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

OP I understand the context but this is why you gotta feel them out at least a little for their attitudes on casual/fast sex before meeting up. I'd do that before meeting up again, chances of buyer's remorse go up when there's autism involved.

Did you at least kino in the car given you were both stoned? If you friendzone her and there's no sex, you might get tired of her quirks and antics sooner rather than later.

Maybe she does want to bang but doesn't know how to communicate it without being awkward. Since you like the girl, you wouldn't want to leave her hanging in this is the case, no?

I banged a cute autistic girl once. The first meet was at my place but weird, no action just talking. Next date I made a move and banged her silly and she was glad I did.

 

[plumber]

Exactly what is he "tricking her into"?

Women like sex just as much if not more than men do.

yes probably. in this case it would make sense to get agreement with her on intent. something usually not done in normal flow. her internal view of sex can connect to other expectations, very strongly. if she understands, then sure its a go.

 

[Clockwerk50]

 

[Divorced w 3]

Holy over thinking a situation Batman

The woman who works for me is a model, just the slightest hint of autism, gets a little nervous and sometimes a little fidgety, but if she didn’t work for me I would probably put a ring on her finger she is absolutely an angel.. I doubt anyone here would even second guess it

They had a great time… it sounds less about her having a personality disorder and more about OP being in his own head… about what exactly?

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Just because someone is neurodiverse does not mean they have no agency. She is different,not a dummy. She obviously is quirky and funny and might be a refreshing change from jaded self serving women with their agendas.

I am married to a man on the spectrum. He is very smart, very highly focused in his areas of special interests, very handsome, and very hilarious. There are also some WTF moments. He has a tender heart underneath all the static, and he appreciates loyalty and directness.

When I first was dating my husband Guru, a long time contributor here and I, got to chatting. He said, "you know BE, don't write the guy off.....you may have something with legs here, even though a horse of a different color...and you may have a unique opportunity."

That was good advice. Unique indeed, lol but in a good way.

I also know an austistic woman, a very intelligent nurse, who I worked with, who was on the spectrum. She was hilarious, organized to the point of OCD, deeply caring, and happily married for something like 20 years, with children & grandchildren. She took medication, and if she forgot to take it she'd get pretty anxious, but knew why (forgot her meds)....and she was direct and unapologetic about being a spectrum gal. Her husband adores her.

There is an element of childlike nature in ASD people often, a sense of curiosity (at least around the special interests) and wonder.

They also like time alone and are less needy often than nuerotyical people.

YMMV but I would be transparent and direct. Might be something worth exploring.

 

[plumber]

Advice from the old lady:

Just because someone is neurodiverse does not mean they have no agency. She is different,not a dummy. She obviously is quirky and funny and might be a refreshing change from jaded self serving women with their agendas.

I am married to a man on the spectrum. He is very smart, very highly focused in his areas of special interests, very handsome, and very hilarious. There are also some WTF moments. He has a tender heart underneath all the static, and he appreciates loyalty and directness.

When I first was dating my husband Guru, a long time contributor here and I, got to chatting. He said, "you know BE, don't write the guy off.....you may have something with legs here, even though a horse of a different color...and you may have a unique opportunity."

That was good advice. Unique indeed, lol but in a good way.

I also know an austistic woman, a very intelligent nurse, who I worked with, who was on the spectrum. She was hilarious, organized to the point of OCD, deeply caring, and happily married for something like 20 years, with children & grandchildren. She took medication, and if she forgot to take it she'd get pretty anxious, but knew why (forgot her meds)....and she was direct and unapologetic about being a spectrum gal. Her husband adores her.

There is an element of childlike nature in ASD people often, a sense of curiosity (at least around the special interests) and wonder.

They also like time alone and are less needy often than nuerotyical people.

YMMV but I would be transparent and direct. Might be something worth exploring.

spot on.

 

[dark god]

So O.P. wants to sleep with a girl with legit mental illness? Sounds like a recipe for disaster if you ask me. I made that mistake a few years ago and found myself at the police station getting grilled by detectives on a false date rape allegation. Luckily The woman had a reputation and I had texts and a love letter she wrote to me after said date rape..I told the detectives " who writes a love letter to the person that raped them?" Hell even in the love letter she stated that I " didn't satisfy her" lol
Suffice to say no charges were brought..and I only dated this nutbox 2 weeks...my life would of been over if I didn't have the evidence to help me. So um yea tread carefully.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

I think there's a lot between autism and mental illness, alas, the above post is to be noted.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

Why do you care about sleeping with her or not? Having autism doesn't mean wltou have no ability to make decisions, it just usually means you are somewhat awkward socially.

I honestly don't know enough about autism. So thought I'd hold off and ask on here first.

 

[Desdinova]

I've willingly banged nutter women. Take her for a ride

 

[Divorced w 3]

I hooked up with a woman with Asperger’s and she wouldn’t leave me alone for a month. Was changing phone numbers etc.