Jayer's 100 Approach Journal (Will Finish 100 approaches no matter what)

[Solomon]

so much value in this thread

this needs to be archived!!

 

[Reyaj]

Even though I have left the forum I couldn't help but check in today. I thought I'd share a few updates. I have approached more women since my journal ended and have actually established a nice relationship. But of course there have been more flakes, along with a girl who lied about being busy only to let me know later she was on a date that sucked and asked me to rescue her. I know better of course and got her out on my own terms and ended up hooking up with her. I then ended up standing her up to go out with the last girl I picked up from this approach journal... the one who initially gave me a boyfriend line lol! Me and her have been hooking up nicely though she will be nexted because as I said I'm in a relationship I want.

Its a numbers game when it comes down to it.

It feels good knowing the truth about women and this game which I only could have learned through trial and error.

Sarge on fellow DJs!

 

[steviecruiser]

Do not ever forget what you learned here. Your thread is 1 of 10 I find useful on this board because it is real as only another who has been in the field could tell you.

 

[Sandow]

Wow great thread, 4 years of field reports! You can really see the progress you made from day 1 up till today. This is one of the best threads on here. Everyone can learn something from this one, especially the newbies. Nothing groundbreaking but great REAL LIFE examples (instead of all that theory b.s.). Anyways, there was a great point listed here about atraction gets you to the door but comfort gets you in. And thats all it really is, being good w/ girls can be summed up in one very simple formula: Attraction + Comfort = Success.

 

[Reyaj]

Thank you again. I now find myself at another crossroads

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=165262&highlight=jayer

 

[Igetit!]

Thank you again. I now find myself at another crossroads

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=165262&highlight=jayer

What's up Jayer,

Man,haven't seen this thread in a while. Been almost 6 months since I last posted in here.



I read your other thread about the delema your facing now,and I think a LOT of guys face this or will be facing it at one point in their lives,ESPECIALLY if they have a background of having trouble dating women.



I think the thing is,is that before your started your journal,whenever you got involved with a woman,it was kind of a "got lucky" kind of thing,and when you did get involved with a girl,you tried to make it last as long as you could even if the relationship was bad because at least you were having sex,and you didn't want to lose that.




However after approaching 100 women,learning,and getting a better understanding of how to attract them,now you feel freer.
It's like you don't have to hold on to this woman with a deathgrip because if things don't work out,you already know what to do to get another.



You have what's known as "the grass is greener" situation going on.


It's ALWAYS going to be like that.


There will ALWAYS BE a girl who's hotter,a girl who's smarter,a girl who cooks better,a girl who's better in bed,a girl who's nicer,a girl who's thinner,a girl who's this and a girl who's that.



You know why? Because we're aging dude. All of us.


The only thing that time can't touch is character.


If she's truely a good person now,then 10 years from now,she'll still be a good person. She won't be as "hot" as she once was,but her character will still be intact.



And judging by this statement of your from your other thread...

I'd rather have a cute girl who loves me to no end,than a super hot girl that is selfish and that I constantly have to play games with to keep the IL high.

A good person is what you want.


This other statement of yours...

One of my goals in life is to get married and have a family,another goal is to live a player lifestyle and have beautiful women copiously.

You can do both other these things...but NOT AT THE SAME TIME.
(Well,you can do both at the same time,but you know what I mean.)




This is where being a mature adult comes into play. If you want to be a player,that's fine,but more than likely you'll lose your LTR,or the relationship will be a source of pain for your girlfriend AND FOR YOU.



You'll have to lie,cheat,sneak around,hide things,etc. To me,it's just not worth all that. I don't want to spend the rest of my life trying to keep secret something from another person. It's hard enough trying to maintain a relationship when BOTH PEOPLE are faithful. Imagine how it'll be trying to hide and sneek around behind not only your girl's back,but if you two have children,then you'll have to keep it from them too.




I'm not telling you not to do it,to each his own. I'm just saying that isn't for me.




You said something about how you may just want to screw around just for sexual gratification,but when you sleep with your girl,that urge leaves.



Well why not just sleep with her everytime this urge comes up? Seems simple to me.




Like I said,I think this situation you're in happens to mainly guys who had woman problems early on in life,found the "community",then once they learned how to get women,they want to make up for all the missed time and opportunities they had while being the "nice guy" and getting rejected when they were younger.





It's like if you settle with the girl you have,you'll think you missed out on even hotter girls,but if you let her go,you may sleep with other attractive women,but they may not be as good of a person as the one you have right now.



You'll either have to realize that the part of your youth when you were constantly rejected by girls is done and over with and accept it,or let your LTR go,then run out and sleep with as many girls as you can to try to make up for lost time.


The only bad thing about the second option is you'll waste even more time,but instead of it being wasted on constant rejection by women,you'll have girls to sleep with,but you'll have to sift through them to try to find another girl like that one you ALREADY HAVE.



Well whatever you decide,we got your back here on the forum man.




Peace.

 

[Reyaj]

What's up Jayer,

Man,haven't seen this thread in a while. Been almost 6 months since I last posted in here.



I read your other thread about the delema your facing now,and I think a LOT of guys face this or will be facing it at one point in their lives,ESPECIALLY if they have a background of having trouble dating women.



I think the thing is,is that before your started your journal,whenever you got involved with a woman,it was kind of a "got lucky" kind of thing,and when you did get involved with a girl,you tried to make it last as long as you could even if the relationship was bad because at least you were having sex,and you didn't want to lose that.




However after approaching 100 women,learning,and getting a better understanding of how to attract them,now you feel freer.
It's like you don't have to hold on to this woman with a deathgrip because if things don't work out,you already know what to do to get another.



You have what's known as "the grass is greener" situation going on.


It's ALWAYS going to be like that.


There will ALWAYS BE a girl who's hotter,a girl who's smarter,a girl who cooks better,a girl who's better in bed,a girl who's nicer,a girl who's thinner,a girl who's this and a girl who's that.



You know why? Because we're aging dude. All of us.


The only thing that time can't touch is character.


If she's truely a good person now,then 10 years from now,she'll still be a good person. She won't be as "hot" as she once was,but her character will still be intact.



And judging by this statement of your from your other thread...A good person is what you want.


This other statement of yours...


You can do both other these things...but NOT AT THE SAME TIME.
(Well,you can do both at the same time,but you know what I mean.)




This is where being a mature adult comes into play. If you want to be a player,that's fine,but more than likely you'll lose your LTR,or the relationship will be a source of pain for your girlfriend AND FOR YOU.



You'll have to lie,cheat,sneak around,hide things,etc. To me,it's just not worth all that. I don't want to spend the rest of my life trying to keep secret something from another person. It's hard enough trying to maintain a relationship when BOTH PEOPLE are faithful. Imagine how it'll be trying to hide and sneek around behind not only your girl's back,but if you two have children,then you'll have to keep it from them too.




I'm not telling you not to do it,to each his own. I'm just saying that isn't for me.




You said something about how you may just want to screw around just for sexual gratification,but when you sleep with your girl,that urge leaves.



Well why not just sleep with her everytime this urge comes up? Seems simple to me.




Like I said,I think this situation you're in happens to mainly guys who had woman problems early on in life,found the "community",then once they learned how to get women,they want to make up for all the missed time and opportunities they had while being the "nice guy" and getting rejected when they were younger.





It's like if you settle with the girl you have,you'll think you missed out on even hotter girls,but if you let her go,you may sleep with other attractive women,but they may not be as good of a person as the one you have right now.



You'll either have to realize that the part of your youth when you were constantly rejected by girls is done and over with and accept it,or let your LTR go,then run out and sleep with as many girls as you can to try to make up for lost time.


The only bad thing about the second option is you'll waste even more time,but instead of it being wasted on constant rejection by women,you'll have girls to sleep with,but you'll have to sift through them to try to find another girl like that one you ALREADY HAVE.



Well whatever you decide,we got your back here on the forum man.




Peace.

Igetit your response has been the best I've received. Thank you for taking the time out to respond to me. I've actually been on my other thread but its good you posted on my approach thread as well... kind of fitting

So I can't really argue with anything you said.... I mean you are dead on with everything. I am trying to make up for my youth.... but I may have found a girl that is marriage material also.... so I'm in a catch-22.... that's why I see cheating as the only option. Yes it sucks to have to lie and sneak around etc.... and actually because I spend so much time with my current girl cheating itself is very hard in general..... See 1 thing is that I've been in relationships before and the sex part of it also became mundane so I just accept this as part of life. I mean my girl still wants it and we have a great sex life but.... I just feel I need to sample some other tail too before I decide to ride off into that sunset known as marriage.... Is it fair to her? Absolutely not..... but if I don't do this it won't be fair to me down the road if I have regrets...

It might sound oxymoronic but I really would like to cheat ethically... at least until I make an engagement commitment. I just don't want anyone to get hurt which is why I already passed up on some easy tail because they had feelings for me and I knew I didn't want them long term.

I am just rambling at this point... Thanks to you and everyone for being supportful on the forum.

 

[Reyaj]

I have found myself nexting a lot of girls too.. Knowing that its a numbers game makes me less inclined to stick in a situation I'm not happy with

 

[Reyaj]

I'll continue to post my thoughts and philsophies on this thread in the mature man forum

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=165262&page=2&highlight=jayer

I'll come back to this thread with bits of insight randomly.


I'm still pretty darn good at number closing... but what I'd like to look into now is hooking up where possible... Still getting the number provides the opportunity of slow play seduction. Especially useful on women who are not into same night hook-ups but want to feel a sense of courtship.

 

[Blank]

It is absolute insanity that you've been into this stuff for so long and you have made so little progress. You made this thread in 2005. I would expect someone to be same day f closing four years after they start approaching. Absolute insanity.

And you cheated on your girlfriend? Wow...not much of a pua OR a man.

 

[Reyaj]

It is absolute insanity that you've been into this stuff for so long and you have made so little progress. You made this thread in 2005. I would expect someone to be same day f closing four years after they start approaching. Absolute insanity.

And you cheated on your girlfriend? Wow...not much of a pua OR a man.

I've made more progress that you can imagine. So much so that I realize "same day F closing" isn't probable on a regular basis for anyone short of being in the mainstream spotlight. The girls that would do it aren't the ones I'd chase anyway. You're only 22, you have a lot to learn about life

 

[Reyaj]

My latest dilemma. Its in the Mature Man's forum as I feel its deeper than usual pick up...

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=170509

 

[Pugsley_f5]

Good job man keep things rolling!

 

[Reyaj]

Just because I'm so proud of what I have learned, I'm bumping this bad boy up!

 

[Reyaj]

Realize that a girl with a boyfriend is not a rejection for you

Out of a group of 100 girls of dating age, I don't know the actual statistics, but lets say that half of them are married

Out of 100 girls
50 married (many unhappily so, but I don't do married girls so it doesn't matter)
35 have serious boyfriend or are dating and not looking for a new guy
15 claim to be single (of these 5 of them actually have boyfriends but are getting ready to dump them and are open for a new guy), and probably at least 3 or 4 are lesbians!

Guess what with my hypothetical statistics, this leaves not a ton of girls. Thats why you need to approach everyone and only consider a rejection as a single girl who you don't get. Did I mention that some of these girls are single because they have serious issues?

Hopefully the odds aren't this bad, but it isn't hard for me to believe that easily more than half of the attractive women you see aren't single.

So if they have a boyfriend is it really a rejection? I think not.

It is actually harder to get rejected than you think if you remove girls that already have boyfriends, are married or are lesbian from the equation.

Re-reading my thread and ^^^^^ is reality.