Thanks. Just to add - I still am an ardent supporter of yours. Always will be.Jayer said:Izza you have also been a very ardent supporter of mine so I don't mind addressing your questions either.
As I am leaving this forum to truly focus on becoming the person I want to be I will not be checking in as much. I hope I can address your questions and points though Izza, its the least I can do for all your encouragement and support.
Ahhh, I get it. Thanks. It's helpful for me to know exactly what you believe about things. I am, if nothing else, a belief collector. So thanks.So your first question was; How does building rapport aka investment vibe with blitzkrieg number closing?
You probably thought this was oxymoronic but I meant them more are individual steps that are incrementally sequential. I'm saying that getting a phone is a "foot in the door" so to speak and that by having solid phone game you can build a girl's IL to meet you in person later. This is just 1 example of how you can game a girl. Obviously you can build rapport when you meet her by spending time talking to her, kino etc... I've done this also and its probably the more traditional approach. There's a lot of ways that work
Ah. I see. Not unrecoverable - but not constructive. Oops. PS One thing I like about you is how open you are about what you do well and poorly. I really try to emulate that about you.You next ask that I provide an example of how not letting a girl see my lose my cool has helped. I can provide an example of how keeping my cool has helped and how losing my cool has been disasterous.
First the latter.... I was messing with this hot brazilian girl who was very "friendly" and talked to a lot of people when she went out. Now obviously this girl didn't have qualities I'd want in someone for an LTR but she was down right hot and fun to hook up with. So one time I saw her messaging a guy she met at a club whom she was just "friends" with... she did this in front of me and he asked her something about if she was going to go out somewhere the following night. Well I immediately jumped to conclusions and lost my cool. The next night when she didn't contact me I immediately thought she was lying to me and out with this other guy. I started texting her and I ended up somewhat telling her off... it turned out she was at home the whole night. Either way it shouldn't have mattered. As I knew she wasn't LTR material I shouldn't have made a big deal over it but this ended up with her not liking me anymore and getting scared off.
Hmm. That makes sense. Seems like you handled that pretty well. I was asking about this because my attitude on emotions is kind of a balance between the two, so I wanted to know what you meant. My thing is, I try to express every single emotion I have, but I put it through the maturity filter first. Like if I'm feeling impatient that a girl is ignoring me, I write and ask them what the best way to get in touch with them is - or the best time to call, or whatever. When I feel impatient or angry, I usually put it through the maturity filter and do something constructive with it. I ask her to stop texting, or whatever. Both sides win: I rarely lose my cool - I rarely hide an emotion.Now a recent example of how I kept my cool was with the last girl I got out from my approach journal. She had basically told me she was seeing someone and was very shady with her phone calling/texting.... I played it cool, didn't care... continued the on/off texting and one day I ended up getting her out... I ended up seeing her a few more times... she denied the kiss close at my first attempt... I kept cool about it.. acted like I wasn't phased... saw her again and finally broke it down... The old me would have over reacted and told this girl off but by being aloof and carefree I now have another plate I'm spinning
Maturity filters are great
Ohhhh! Thanks, I get it.You said you want an example of indirect vs direct method...
Indirect Method is basically opening a girl about something not directed at hooking up. i.g. Do you know the score of the game, I can't see the tv
Direct Method is making your intentions known from the get go. i.g. I noticed you from across the room, I just had to talk to you....
Ironically a girl I am currently spending a lot of time with was acquired from direct method. Both can work
I guess I don't approach with "direct method," as I often have no idea if I'm attracted to a girl until after I talk to her. But I'll think about this - I'm working on ramping up how often I approach women. I haven't been doing much at all as I build my friend base - and focus on the fine ladies already in my life. But yeah - thanks for the thought food.
Oh Jayer, rabidly so. But please continue, I fear I'm becoming too predictableYou next asked about my comment "even girls that are HB 5 have a stable of AFCs"
Now I have a feeling you may disagree with me on this...
I agree - many women get hit on a lot. I meet VERY few women, however, who feel powerful in the dating arena. Big difference. I know many who get hit on a lot (ah the francophone world) - but seldom by men they want to pursue. In my experience, this doesn't make them feel powerful - but harassed and powerless to stop it - or to find guys they like - or to tell when a guy they might like is hitting on them.but what I've honestly found out in the field is that the majority of women are very stuck up... and basically expect a guy to do all the work in courting them... I see so many beautiful looking women with guys who are below average. I've gotten attitude from just as many below average looking girls as I've gotten from hot hot girls... Ive seen and know many guys hit on girls that are below average on the HB scale (i.g obeis girls) I know girls who always talk about guys hitting on them..
So my theory with this is that a lot girls are stuck up and expect guys to do all the work in courting them because they are so used to attention that it just inflates their ego.... This is why its so easy for girls to next and move on... They know that they will get hit on as surely as it will rain in a month.
I don't want to disagree too much during our last little discussion for a little while. You might be right after all.
Also, I usually break the usual heterosexual dating expectations within the first five minutes - so most women aren't expecting the ritual from me. That helps them be themselves, rather than a role-player. The role-player really creeps me out, FYI, so that helps me a lot.
I just post this as an alternative:
If you don't find that useful - no need to discuss, I just post that in case you'd like to collect my beliefs on the matter.For women here are some conditions that might help with cooperation.
1.) Many women hesitate to facilitate sex because they believe most guys want to chase, but do not want to be chased. Some guys are turned off by a girl who comes on too hard. Some guys don't feel comfortable unless they're "dominating". Besides, it is always safer and more empowering in some sense to be chased than to chase. So the girl doesn't want to turn off the guy and it's safer and rewarding to be chased anyway. Make it clear you expect the girl to make effort and this is much reduced.
2.) Sexual violence still pervades our society. Women are afraid of being raped for giving "the wrong signs" to guys they barely know. Fear does not motivate women to be too helpful. Show emotional maturity, respect, and consideration - with a lot of sexual directness - and women figure out that you're sexual without being a predator.
3.) Clingy guys take cooperation the wrong way. Some women (not necessarily all women and not necessarily all conventionally beautiful women) have had a bad experience with clingy guys who took some facilitation from girl as an invitation to, say, propose marriage. So women hesitate to cooperate for fear of clinginess. Demonstrate emotional maturity and openness and women will know you're not that guy.
4.) Paramount reason: there is a stigma against women who like sex and work to facilitate sex. Many in society degrade them as sluts. Women want to be desireable to men, and can't find respect as a "slut." So many women are cautious about cooperating to have sex. COMPLIMENT WOMEN WHO LIKE SEX. IT'S AN ACT OF COURAGE.
Finally, as other humans are innate vibe readers and innate vibe matchers, the vibe we give influences the vibe we receive. Example: if you put out a vibe of playing games, covering stuff up, pretending you're always happy, being judgmental, hesitant, dishonest, hiding your sexuality, trying to gratify your ego through another's need for you, many women will treat you the same way. They will pull back.
For contrast, if you are straight-forward, direct, honest, accepting, patient, non-judgmental, attentive, humble, mature, complimentary toward behavior you like, and openly sexual, women will reciprocate MUCH more often.
If you like, we can discuss more when/if you get back from your break. If I'm still around. I have so many pieces in place - and I'm very much enjoying my love life these days, so I'm finding I get less and less out of this site.
Thanks for your help. You're very welcome Jayer. I have learned a lot from you. It's amazing to me how far you've come. I know you will keep your open mind, patience, your thoughtfulness - and most importantly your good heart - and these will take you everywhere you want to go.So Izza I hope this helped answer your questions. Thanks again 4 all the support and encouragment.
Happy and very safe, condom studded travels! See you next time,